glitter on the west streets

[romasquerade]

I am officially moved into my first apartment! That is actually sort of a lie, I have so many boxes and stuff to move tomorrow because the storage people weren't around today, but I have keys and a suitcase in my room and a room and a private bathroom and granite countertops and stainless steel appliances because this place is SO NICE. It's

Comments

[romasquerade]

Well that's kind of tricky and I don't think you'd necessarily be able to give a blanket statement for all asexual people in that regard. In general asexual is defined as "not sexually attracted to other people," but that is not to say that the person doesn't ever want to have sex, if that makes sense! So the only thing that being asexual really ... HAS to mean, insofar as any sexual identity has to mean anything, is that you aren't... Hmm, this is tough to explain. Personally, a lack of sexual attraction to me means that I never feel compelled to have sex, I don't ever see anybody and feel like I want to, there's nothing in the back or front of my mind that's thinking about the sex I might someday have. Of course, 'sexual attraction' is different to different people, but if whatever it is to you is something that you don't feel, that's all that being asexual really is!

So then the difference between sex with others and sex with yourself would ... I mean I guess it would just be a matter of whether or not a person finds themselves horny and wanting to do something about that, would they want to do something about it with another person or not. Lots of asexual people get turned on, and some of those have sex with others, and some of them masturbate, and some of them don't have sex at all. There are also, of course, plenty of asexual people who don't ever really find themselves turned on and so sex either with others or with themselves doesn't come into play as much. Personally, I'm somewhere in the middle, where sex (either with others or with myself) isn't anything that I ever think about on my own, but I'm not opposed to someday having sex with someone else because I appreciate the idea of being physically close to someone as sort of a representation or another way of expressing an emotional closeness. But that's just me! (Disclaimer: I in no way mean to ever ever suggest that having sex is bad, or that having sex without emotions involved is bad, or anything like that -- I'm just detailing how I, personally, feel about sex .)

I hope that was helpful! Let me know if you have any more questions or if you want me to clarify anything.

[scoradh]

I think it's fascinating! I personally - and I don't mean to preach, or whatevs - think that asexuality helps make people more aware of the sort of fluidity of sexuality, how you don't decide aged 18 what you are forever. Of course a lot of people accept what they're open to (and maybe in asexual cases, not open to) but that is subject to change! And because asexuality seems to mean 'lack of interest in sex with any gender' it can also maybe mean that when asexual people do have sex, they temporarily switch to being gay or straight - a sexual orientation, I mean. And switch back. Pretty much the way anyone can and would if the social situation was amenable. I don't know if I'm talking out of my ass here so feel free to tell me so! Or just tell me of the great beauty that is Harry Styles. I nearly bought Dare to Dream today! I could not, however, for the shame was just too much.

[romasquerade]

Hmm. I've been thinking about this all day and something about it has seemed a little off. I think where you might be misunderstanding something here is in that ... asexual does not really mean a lack of interest in sex? An interest in sex and being sexually attracted to other people are two different things, although for most people they're so linked that it doesn't seem like it! Having sex doesn't suddenly make you not asexual any more than having sex with a woman would make a gay man straight, for example. Does that make sense? I hope I'm being clear!!

Harry Styles FACE THO. It may or may not actually bring me to tears on a daily basis (it does). It's really only a matter of time before I buy Dare to Dream myself. mockturtletale scanned a bunch of the pages for me for ~research purposes, but it isn't going to suffice soon. (Un)fortunately, I am shameless when it comes to these boys. ;______________;