Dir en grey - Kaoru/Kyo - A Little Hitch - 13/18
Title: A Little Hitch
Author: shuichin or Shuichi
Genre: Angst/Romance/Humor
Pairings: Kaoru x Kyo, various others
Rating: NC-17
Summary: AU. Crossover. When a new client comes to Kaoru for relationship help, the "date doctor" needs to learn the differences between lust and love.
Notes: N/A
Part 13: The Plot Thickens
As night came, with it came distant lightning and the smell of rain. Die and Shinya had fallen asleep on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms. Their faces were so sad, reflecting their broken hearts. I sat on the chair and stared at them for a long time. The moon resting across their forms gave me shivers. I looked at the clock on the DVD player. It was eleven thirty and I couldn't stand sitting around any longer. Since my "encounter" with Kyo earlier I had been sexually frustrated, but I refused to jerk myself off or do something else about it. It was either going to go away or Kyo was going to take care of it.
I got up and grabbed my jacket and car keys. I sent one more glance over my shoulder at the two sleeping angels and then went out the door. I drove for a long time before I finally found the place I was looking for. I got out and hurried inside, the wind picking up and promising rain soon. I was sure all the lights would be off and the door would be locked, but that wasn't the case. As I neared the vacant front desk I could hear voices arguing down a hallway. Being the unbelievably nosey person that I am, I just had to eavesdrop.
Two women were arguing in an office. One I immediately recognized as Rei, the girl who had taken Shukumei away. The other was an older woman, probably in her late thirties or early forties. She had a distinguished sort of beauty, but she looked like a generally angry person.
"--then they should have thought about that before they fought," she was saying.
"But you don't understand!" Rei exclaimed, bringing her voice to a level she probably didn't intend. "They love her! And they don't fight all the time either! They're a good couple and good parents! You should have seen how Shukumei cried when I put her in the car! She loves them, too!"
"I refuse to listen to anymore of this."
"Well, too bad!" Rei shrieked, stomping her foot adolescently. "You take Shukumei away from Daisuke-san and Shinya-san and we'll lose her!"
The lady behind the desk stood. "Reafu!" She bellowed. "You forget your place here!"
"HA!" Rei said shrilly. "My place? What about you? You don't have any right to keep Shukumei locked up in a room away from the other children! You don't have any right to tell her that her new parents don't want her anymore when that's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard!"
The lady gasped. "There is no swearing in this establishment!"
"Fuck you!" Rei shrieked.
The slapping sound of skin hitting skin rang out as the woman brought her hand sharply against Rei's cheek. I bit my forefinger in an angry attempt to keep from barging in there and murdering the evil woman.
"I will not have you forgetting your place," the woman hissed. "This argument is over and if you say another word on the matter consider yourself jobless."
Rei snorted. "You're going to fire me? No, no, I don't think so. Because I QUIT! Hahahahaha!"
She turned on her heel, but the woman grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Oh really? And where will you go, hm? Where do you have family who will take you in?" She said venomously.
Rei pried her arm from the foul lady's grip. "I may have grown up in this orphanage, but now I'm nineteen and you don't own me anymore. I'm leaving."
I quickly darted back to the reception area as she made to leave the office. She came out rubbing her cheek, but her eyes lit up when she spotted me. "Oh! You were at the Andou home! Why are you here?"
"I want to see Shukumei," I said firmly.
She bit her lip. "I-I don't know if I can let you..."
"What's wrong? Are you afraid you'll get fired?" I said gleefully.
She eyed me curiously for a moment and then smirked and motioned for me to follow her. I mentally congratulated myself for my sheer brilliance and let her lead me. She brought me to a secluded room that was far from the one the other young kids were in. She took out a key and opened the door, letting me inside. Once inside she closed the door and stood beside it, motioning for me to go ahead. I took a deep breath and approached the bed. No one was in it. My eyes immediately traveled to the window, where a little girl was silhouetted in front of it. "Shukumei?"
Shukumei's head turned. I couldn't see her face, but I could tell by her tone that she was happy to see me. "Uncle Kaoru!"
She slid out of the window seat and limped over to me. My brow furrowed. Her limp had gotten worse. She flung her arms around my legs and immediately burst into tears. I shakily dropped down so I was sitting on the floor and took her into my arms. I held her as close to me as possible, stroking her hair and her back and whispering to her that she was okay. Finally she broke away and looked at me with trembling lips, her big eyes glassy. "K-K-Kaasan and Tou-Tousan don't w-w-want me anym-more!" She exclaimed before bursting into the most heart-wrenching sobs I have ever heard, her entire body shaking with grief.
Rei was kneeling beside us in a heartbeat and said the thing I had been too choked up to utter. "Of course they want you, Shukumei. Miss Akui lied to you. She took you away from Kaasan and Tousan. They're at home crying right now because they want you back," she said fervently.
Shukumei blinked at Rei and then looked at me. "Uncle Kaoru?"
"It's the truth, Shukumei," I managed, finding my voice.
Shukumei gasped and looked at Rei. "But why did Miss Akui lie?"
"Because she's a crazy bitch," Rei muttered.
I whapped her on the head. "Don't say that word in front of Shukumei! Don't you know Die could kill you for that?"
"Are Tousan and Kaasan okay? Can I see them?" Shukumei asked.
I smiled softly. "They're fine, but you can't see them just yet. I want you to tell me something, Shukumei. It's very important."
"Okay," she said in English.
I raised a brow. "Where'd you learn that word?"
She smiled. "Amedi-chan taught me!"
I nodded. "Ah, of course. Okay, Shukumei, I want to know why your foot has gotten worse. Did you get hurt? Did something happen?"
Rei looked over at me. "I noticed that, too."
Shukumei fingered strands of my hair as she thought over my question. Finally she spoke. "Miss Akui stopped giving me my medicine."
Rei gasped. "What!? Why?"
Shukumei shrugged. "I don't know... She said it would make Dr. Hasegawa happy. But my doctor is Dr. Arakure. Uncle Kaoru, can I do your hair?"
I gave an absent-minded nod and rubbed my chin thoughtfully. "That doesn't make any sense to me. Why would she do that?"
Rei was staring at the opposite wall as though something very shocking was on it. I looked at her, then at the wall, then back at her. "What?" I asked dumbly.
"Uncle Kaoru, stopping moving!" Shukumei exclaimed, grabbing my head and holding it in place.
Rei turned her shocked gaze to me. "Dr. Hasegawa comes to the orphanage once every six months to check up on the kids."
I raised my eyebrows in inquiry. "And? What's the big deal if he's a doctor?"
"He's not a physician. He's a psychiatrist," Rei explained further.
"Ahhhh!" I half-exclaimed. "But...I don't get it."
Her face fell. "Neither do I." She sighed, causing her bangs to fly up dramatically.
"Oh, wait!" I stood and handed Shukumei to Rei, then pulled out my cellphone and held down the number one. After all, it would make sense for me to have Kyo on speed dial, right?
"Niimura," came his tired reply.
"Hi, Kyo, it's Kaoru."
"Kaoru!? You son of a bitch, what the hell are you calling me at midnight for!?"
I hurriedly explained to him what we knew about Shukumei's case and held my breath, hoping he could make sense of it. He was only silent for a few seconds before he said, "Oh my god, Kaoru, do you have proof of this?"
"Proof of what?"
"That this lady stopped giving Shukumei her medication."
I sighed frustratedly. "What do you mean 'proof'? All I know is that Shukumei's foot has gotten worse and she said Miss Akui took away her medicine!"
"Damn. That's not good enough. We need solid evidence of this."
"Why? Can you please explain this to me?"
Kyo sighed. "Think about it, Kaoru. Why would this woman keep Shukumei secluded? Why would she tell her lies about Die and Shinya? Why would she take away her medication?"
I thought for a minute and then said the only thing that made sense to me. "Because she's Satan?"
He growled and I knew he would have hit me if he could have. "No, baka! Because the shrink is telling her to!"
I blinked. "What? That's your theory? Maybe I should have hired a private eye for this..."
"KAORU!" Kyo roared. "You fucking idiot, solving mysteries is my job! If you're too thick to figure it out then just let me spell it out for you!"
"Would you?" I asked sweetly.
He gave a ragged sigh and I could picture him running his hand through his hair. It was extremely sexy and I felt my pants getting tight. And then I heard another voice in the background. "Kyo-kun, why are you yelling? You woke me from my peaceful beauty sleep."
"I'm sorry, Gackun. Just go back to sleep, baby."
I heard a sloppy kissing sound and my libido deflated. "Kyo... Oi, Kyo, that's not funny. Kyo. KYO, STOP KISSING HIM AND TALK TO ME, DAMNIT!" I shrieked.
"Hush!" Rei exclaimed from the bed where she was letting Shukumei twist up her hair. "Someone might hear you!"
"Sorry. He won't go to sleep without a goodnight kiss," came Kyo's voice over the phone.
I growled in my throat. "Whatever. Now what were you saying?"
"In short, this psychiatrist is using Shukumei and her unfortunate childhood as an experiment. He wants to see what could really happen to her from bad experiences. I'll bet he also wants to see if physical problems so young in life will affect her mind growing up. Believe it or not, there are a lot of wackos out there who will use someone like that. They don't care about other people. They just want knowledge and the progression of society. And your orphanage lady obviously just wants a couple of extra pennies in her pocket."
It took about four seconds for that to seep in and then I was absolutely beside myself. "WHAT!? They're using Shukumei as an experiment? She's just a-a LAB RAT to this guy!? I'll kill him! No, no, I'll let Die kill him and then I'll spend several glorious hours jumping up and down on his dead carcass!"
Kyo laughed. "Now that's sexy."
My brain crashed and I spluttered out incoherent sentance fragments. Maybe he was kidding. Frankly, I didn't care. He called me sexy and that was enough to send me over the edge.
"Kaoru? You okay?" Kyo asked.
I snapped back together. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just...um...uh..."
"Damnit, Kaoru, now you've got me awake. Why don't you come by Gackt's right now so we can figure out how to get some hard evidence?"
I think I wet my pants in sheer glee. "Sure! See ya in a bit!" I chirped.
I hung up and tucked my phone back in my pocket. Rei stood. "We need to go. If Akui comes in here we could be in serious trouble and there's no telling what would happen to Shukumei then."
I nodded and approached the sleepy girl on the bed. I sat down and took her tiny hand in my big, rough one. "Shukumei, I have to go now, but I'm going to find a way to get you out of here and back to Tousan and Kaasan, okay? I promise. But you have to promise me that you'll be brave and never forget that they love you, no matter what happens. Okay?" I used the English word, no doubt my eye bearing a "twinkle."
Shukumei smiled and nodded. "Okay! And Uncle Kaoru, when I see you again can I do your hair? You never let me finish." She pouted cutely.
I chuckled and gave her hand a small squeeze. "Of course."
She spread her arms and I opened mine so she could give me a hug. Then she puckered her lips. My heart jumped remembering fondly the times I'd witnessed her saying goodnight to Die. I puckered my own lips and we met with a loud "mwah!" I ruffled her hair and stood. "Get some sleep, squirt."
She cuddled up under her blankets. "Goodnight, Uncle Kaoru. I love you!" She called.
My eyes stung with tears that I didn't understand. "I love you, too," I said softly.
Rei and I left and hurried back down to the reception area. She peeked in Akui's office and then sighed with relief. "She's asleep. She always falls asleep reading that dumb glamour magazine."
I chuckled and took her hand in mine, giving it a peck. "Thanks so much, Rei-san." I picked up a pad of paper off of the desk and scribbled down my cellphone number. "Here's my number. Just call me if you need anything, okay? It's the least I can do."
She smiled and took the paper, gingerly folding it and putting it in her pocket. "Thanks."
I turned to leave, but she called me back. "You heard our argument in the office, didn't you?" She questioned.
I blushed slightly and nodded. "Yeah, I did. I'm sorry you lost your job."
She laughed. "Not me! And I have one more question for you, sir!"
I raised my eyebrow inquisitively. She grinned. "What's your name?"
I chuckled. I'd never told her, had I? "Didn't you hear Shukumei calling me 'Uncle Kaoru'?"
Rei nodded. "Sure, but what's your surname? I can't just call you 'Kaoru' now..."
I gave her the sexiest smile I had. "Sure you can. Ta ta."
And I was gone, hoping she was drooling after me.
I mean, I wasn't young anymore and I would be proud to know I'd still wooed a teenage girl.
Anyway...within minutes I was outside of Gackt's manor. And let me just say that with the lightning, claps of thunder, and rustling wind, it was about ten times scarier. I knocked hard on the door and waited for it to open, looking anxiously up at the dark sky.
The door opened and Kyo stood there, wearing nothing but boxers. Kaoru Jr. perked up, but I tried to ignore him for the time being. "Well, hi, Kyo. Long time no see," I said.
He stepped aside. "Just come in and spare me the small talk."
So I did. We went to a parlor where the only light came from a roaring fire. I raised an eyebrow. "Gee, Kyo, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were going to try to seduce me. The fire gives off quite the 'mood'." I chuckled.
He glared at me. "Get over yourself. The room was cold and Gackt's too old-fashioned to have a heating system." He sighed.
I briefly wondered if I should say what I was thinking and then decided, what the hell? "He annoys you, doesn't he?"
I braced myself, sure that Kyo would grab me and kick me out, but he didn't. He sat down on the upholstered sofa with a deep sigh. "Sometimes."
I sat beside him and eyed him warily. "Well...do you love him?"
He scooted over to the far side of the couch. "Not yet...it takes time to fall in love--especially after your heart's been brutally dashed upon the rocks."
I swallowed. "Can I say I'm sorry...again?"
He nodded slightly and I let out a shaky sigh. "I'm sorry," I said meekly.
He scratched his head and stared at the carpet. After a minute or so he pulled his legs up so he was sitting cross-legged and looked back at me. "So how do you think we can get proof to save Shukumei?"
My heart dropped into my toes. Nice of him to change the subject. I shrugged. "No idea. You're the mastermind, you come up with something."
Itami-chan jumped up onto his lap and he scratched beneath her chin, looking thoughtful. "Well, I had thought we could bug the orphanage chick."
I hiked a brow. "What do you mean? Like, constantly get in her hair and drive her crazy?"
He whacked me upside the head. "You're so stupid sometimes," he mumbled. "Not that kind of bug, baka. Like, put a wire on her so we can hear everything she says wherever she goes."
"Ohhhh," I said in realization. "I see. Do you think I could do that?"
Kyo laughed. "No, I have no faith in you. But we'll see, ne? I can get you the equipment and I'll instruct you on how to do it without her noticing. Sound good? If that fails we'll just come up with another idea."
I nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. How'd you get so smart?"
He sent me a mock glare, but I chuckled. We sat there in silence for awhile, the only sounds the crackling of the fire and Itami-chan's consistent purrs. Then I heard a sniffling sound. I looked over at Kyo, my brow wrinkled in concern. He was stroking Itami-chan's fur and staring straight ahead, his gaze sad and tears rolling down his cheeks. I felt my heartbeat quicken. Why was he crying? Was it something I said or did? Was he unhappy with Gackt? Did his tummy hurt? Why!? "Kyo?" I murmured, reaching over and very gingerly touching his arm.
He drew his knees up, squishing Itami-chan between them and his chest. She protested, but when he buried his wet face in her fur, she stopped squirming and just let him use her as a tissue. Good cat.
Anyway, I closed the space between us and set my hand in his sandy locks, gently massaging his scalp. "Kyo-chan...what's wrong?" I asked kindly.
He pushed Itami-chan off of his lap and cuddled up against me, burying his face in my chest. I held him close to me, feeling as though I could die then and I wouldn't even care. We sat like that for a few minutes and then he pulled away slightly, looking up at me. I gently brushed away his tears. "Kyo?"
He toyed with the material of my shirt. "Was it because I didn't please you? I wasn't good enough in bed? Or was it because I'm not young enough? Or-or was it because of the way I treated Itami-chan? Were you dissatisfied with me?" He asked, a quake in his voice.
I stared at him, all of his questions going over my moronic head. "What?" I finally asked.
"Why you cheated on me with Miyavi!" He exclaimed.
I sharply drew in my breath. Tears burned at the rims of my eyes. Kyo thought it was his fault. He was blaming himself for my idiocy.
"Kaoru, why are you crying?" He asked, sounding more innocent than I knew he was.
Indeed, tears were leaking out of my eyes. I looked down, shaking my head. He tilted my chin and wiped away the salty moisture. "Kaoru...I... When I think of you I touch myself."
I think my dick swelled enough to shred my underpants. Or it would have if I'd been wearing any. I stared at him. "You know...that's a huge turn-on."
He smiled and grabbed my hand, bringing it to rest on the bulge in his boxers. I hadn't even noticed it before. I didn't do well at hiding my shock either, letting out a little gasp and widening my eyes. "You did that," he hissed.
He removed his hand, but I kept mine where it was. I could feel his cock pulsating. Sweat was gathering on my face as I gently stroked it through the thin material. He shut his eyes and threw his head back, gasping. I stroked it again and again... Suddenly he was leaning against me, threading his fingers in my hair and kissing me. It was a soft kiss at first, but it quickly grew more passionate. Our tongues danced. I explored every crevice of his heated mouth, the feel of his body trembling against mine sending waves of pleasure through my aroused body. I pinned him to the couch and moved my kisses to his soft neck, pulling off his boxers as I did. I purposely brushed my hands over his erection as I brought them back up his body to toy with his nipples. "Kaoruuuu!" He moaned, running his hands up and down my back.
Blood coursed through my veins, gathering at my groin and setting me on fire. I had dreamed of hearing him say my name in ecstasy for so long... But this wasn't a dream. It was real. He was beneath me, his body heat pushing me over the edge in my lust, his lips whispering my name as his hands explored my body. My heart was pounding with so much joy that I thought it was just going to leap right out of my chest. I stopped necking him and came up to taste his wonderful mouth again. He sobbed into our kiss and I could taste his tears melting with our saliva. He still loves me, I thought, smiling against him.
I lowered my head to his throbbing member and gently bit at the head. He gasped and thrust out, by now panting. I looked up at him and we made eye-contact. "I love you," I whispered.
And then I took him into my mouth. He gave a loud cry and his fingers found my hair, tugging and pushing as he tried to fuck my mouth. I held his hips down and pleasured him how I wanted to, sliding my mouth sensually up and down over him. His cries grew more frequent.
"Nyan!" Itami-chan said.
Suddenly Kyo pulled away from me and snatched his boxers off of the floor, pulling them back on. "Oh my god! What am I doing?" He exclaimed, slumping to the floor and burying his face in his hands.
I knelt beside him. "Kyo...Kyo, you were practically asking me to! Please, can't we just--"
"No!" He exclaimed. "I fucked up, okay? I won't let you take me! I won't let you pleasure me! I don't want you to touch me again and I'm never going to touch you again either!"
"But Kyo!"
"I don't want to cheat on Gackt like you cheated on me!" He shrieked, shoving me hard enough to knock me onto my ass. "No one should be hurt like that ever! Yes, I initiated it, but I wasn't thinking properly."
My blood boiled with anger and I stood, towering over him. "Well now you have an idea of what was going on with me when I seduced Miyavi!"
He stood as well. "But did you back down? Did you stop and tell him you couldn't do it? Did you stop and tell him you already had a lover?"
I seethed. No, no, I hadn't. We'd been over this.
"What's more," Kyo continued, "you saw him again! And again! And a-fucking-gain!"
"I can't believe this! You put my hand on your goddamn penis!" I bellowed. "You wanted me to--"
"No, I don't!" Kyo shouted right back.
"Yes! And you still want me, too! You're just too arrogant to admit it!"
He gasped. "I'm arrogant!? You're the one who thought you could get away with sleeping with two people at the same time!"
I was so angry I couldn't see straight or think straight. In my opinion, Kyo was doing the exact same thing with me that I had done with Miyavi, yet he was still getting after me and not taking any blame himself. Plus, I was sexually frustrated. I attacked Kyo and pinned him to the couch, ripping off his boxers again. I unzipped my pants and freed my own arousal.
"Kaoru, stop it!" Kyo yelled, kicking me in the stomach.
I wrapped his legs around me and he resorted to hitting me repeatedly, so I pinned his arms above his head. "Kaoru!" He screeched. "That's enough! Now you're taking this argument too far!"
My head was telling me to get ahold of myself, but my cock was so hard by now that I was delirious with my want for Kyo. Remember when I said the other day that the sex didn't even matter to me anymore? Well, generally, yes. But when Kyo egged me on like he had, that sent that reasoning right out the window.
"Kaoru, what the hell is wrong with you!?" Kyo shouted.
And then I did something that...to this day...I just can't believe... I had never done something so atrocious in all of my life.
I penetrated him. He screamed and his hands squeezed mine in a death grip. Tears slid down his face. He stubbornly clenched his cheeks together, unwilling to allow me completely entrance, but I deliriously fought my way in, burying myself deep inside of him and moaning with undaunted pleasure. "God...Kyo..." I breathed out.
But then I heard something. Somehow my ears were still working. I heard the love of my life sobbing and telling me to stop. Then he whispered, "I hate you, Kaoru."
I came to my senses. Sexually frusrated or not, this was a crime! I was a criminal! What's more, I was raping the man I loved! Did I have zero self-control!?
I moved to pull out of him, but before I could extract myself completely, the door to the parlor burst open and Gackt stood there. All I can say is thank whatever deity exists he wasn't naked. He was wearing a red robe that was tied loosely around his waist. I didn't know Gackt was the possessive type, but I guess so. His eyes flashed dangerously and he marched over to me, grabbing me around the waist and yanking me off of Kyo, where he then dropped me to the floor, looking at me in disguist. Kyo curled up in the fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably into the couch cushion.
I bounced up and stuffed my still-hard length back into my pants, zipping them up. "Gackt, I can explain--"
He glared at me as he sat down beside Kyo. "Kyo-kun, what happened?" He asked softly, gingerly stroking Kyo's hair.
Kyo sat up and shakily reached for his boxers, pulling them back on. "I-I'm sorry, Gackt. We were discussing the case I told you about and then... I-I came onto him. He kissed me and I kissed him back. He pleasured me and I liked it. But then I realized what I was doing and I told him we needed to stop because I didn't want to cheat on you." He swallowed and a stray tear rolled down his cheek. "I know what it feels like to be cheated on." He irritably brushed the tear away. "But then Kaoru jumped me! And he-he tried to rape me!" He looked at me in shock, as though he was just now realizing what had happened.
Gackt tilted Kyo's chin and gave him a short kiss on the lips. "Don't worry, my angel. I forgive you. I understand the difficulties of mending a broken relationship. It means the world to me that you backed down. I find it very noble."
I felt like I'd just swallowed cat piss, listening to that speech. I glared at Gackt, completely at a loss for what to say. Not that it mattered. I couldn't speak anyway.
"Thank you," Kyo whispered, embarrassedly wiping his eyes.
Gackt stood and approached me. "As for you," he said, his voice suddenly dropping an octave and making him sound more threatening, "you should be reserved the deepest, darkest hole in hell for the way you have treated Kyo. First you cheated on him and now you're trying to take his body when he is unwilling? I was beginning to think that you loved Kyo, after what I've been seeing from your character these last couple of weeks. But now I have to doubt it. You disguist me, Kaoru-san. I want you to leave my home and never return."
I stared at him for a moment and then looked to Kyo, who had scooped Itami-chan up and was holding her close. "Kyo...Kyo, please... I love you so much! I-I was angry and sexually frustrated and I just wasn't fucking thinking! Please, Kyo, I realized what I was doing and was stopping when Gackt came in! Isn't--isn't that like what you were talking about? How I didn't stop when I did it with Miyavi? Kyo, this time I did stop! I realized and my heart broke because I love you and I fucking hate myself for hurting you! Please, Kyo, please!"
I sounded so desperate, but Kyo didn't seem to care. He stood and came up to Gackt, looking over at me. "You're dead to me now, Kaoru."
"No!" I sobbed, dropping to my knees. "Please, Kyo, please don't leave me like this...I didn't mean to! Please! I just don't want to lose you...not completely...please can we just--just be friends? Please?"
A silence descended on the mansion. A clap of thunder sounded outside. Kyo knelt before me. I pleaded to him with my eyes. He swallowed. "We'll be friends. I couldn't just send you away. It wouldn't be fair. I did start it anyway. I'm sorry."
I think I nearly died just then. Seriously. I grabbed his shoulders, ignoring Gackt's sudden movement beside me. "Kyo, stop apologizing to me! I'm the asshole who deserves to die! Goddamnit!"
He pulled away from me and stood. "You should go now. I'll call you about Shukumei," he said, retreating into Gackt's embrace.
I couldn't look at them. I couldn't bring myself to it. I just gave a nod and headed out. Once in the cool air of the outdoors I slumped down on the front steps. Slowly, but surely, tears began to roll down my face. The heavens opened up and cried with me, the wind howling and tossing the long-expected rain about. Within seconds I was soaked to the bone, but I didn't care. And as much as I hated to admit it, Gackt had said something very smart to me in there. His words rang in my ears even more than Kyo's did. "I was beginning to think that you loved Kyo, after what I've been seeing from your character these last couple of weeks. But now I have to doubt it. You disguist me, Kaoru-san." My body shuddered with deep sobs. "What the hell have I done?" I whispered. "I'm disguisting. I should rot in hell. I don't deserve to live."
With this new realization I stood up and trudged back to my car with one intention: to kill myself. To end my misery, as well as Kyo's.
Go to Part 14.
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Notes: 1) AAAAAAAGHDSFHOEIFRHSLFD! *murders self* How could I write that? HOW!? I'm such a terrible person! TT_TT
2) This chapter brings about the mystery-lover in me. =3
3) I hope you guys like Rei okay, because I think she's going to become an important character.
4) Ugh. Re-reading this I'm so annoyed with myself because I made Kaoru so amazing in the scene with Shukumei and then at the end he-he-he-- *stabs self several times with large knife*
5) I just want to point out that akui means "malice."
6) When Kyo says: "Why don't you come by Gackt's right now so we can figure out how to get some hard evidence?" I'll admit that I was already thinking dirty and that's why he said hard evidence. Get it hard? XD *ecchi*
7) Gackt is an intriguing character, isn't he? I mean, I kind of want to hate him because he's seperating Kyo and Kaoru... But at the same time, he's a good guy who's just a little bit dense...
8) Now, I just want to let you know that Kaoru doesn't kill himself. I mean, how could he? He's the one telling you the story. <<;;;
Author: shuichin or Shuichi
Genre: Angst/Romance/Humor
Pairings: Kaoru x Kyo, various others
Rating: NC-17
Summary: AU. Crossover. When a new client comes to Kaoru for relationship help, the "date doctor" needs to learn the differences between lust and love.
Notes: N/A
Part 13: The Plot Thickens
As night came, with it came distant lightning and the smell of rain. Die and Shinya had fallen asleep on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms. Their faces were so sad, reflecting their broken hearts. I sat on the chair and stared at them for a long time. The moon resting across their forms gave me shivers. I looked at the clock on the DVD player. It was eleven thirty and I couldn't stand sitting around any longer. Since my "encounter" with Kyo earlier I had been sexually frustrated, but I refused to jerk myself off or do something else about it. It was either going to go away or Kyo was going to take care of it.
I got up and grabbed my jacket and car keys. I sent one more glance over my shoulder at the two sleeping angels and then went out the door. I drove for a long time before I finally found the place I was looking for. I got out and hurried inside, the wind picking up and promising rain soon. I was sure all the lights would be off and the door would be locked, but that wasn't the case. As I neared the vacant front desk I could hear voices arguing down a hallway. Being the unbelievably nosey person that I am, I just had to eavesdrop.
Two women were arguing in an office. One I immediately recognized as Rei, the girl who had taken Shukumei away. The other was an older woman, probably in her late thirties or early forties. She had a distinguished sort of beauty, but she looked like a generally angry person.
"--then they should have thought about that before they fought," she was saying.
"But you don't understand!" Rei exclaimed, bringing her voice to a level she probably didn't intend. "They love her! And they don't fight all the time either! They're a good couple and good parents! You should have seen how Shukumei cried when I put her in the car! She loves them, too!"
"I refuse to listen to anymore of this."
"Well, too bad!" Rei shrieked, stomping her foot adolescently. "You take Shukumei away from Daisuke-san and Shinya-san and we'll lose her!"
The lady behind the desk stood. "Reafu!" She bellowed. "You forget your place here!"
"HA!" Rei said shrilly. "My place? What about you? You don't have any right to keep Shukumei locked up in a room away from the other children! You don't have any right to tell her that her new parents don't want her anymore when that's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard!"
The lady gasped. "There is no swearing in this establishment!"
"Fuck you!" Rei shrieked.
The slapping sound of skin hitting skin rang out as the woman brought her hand sharply against Rei's cheek. I bit my forefinger in an angry attempt to keep from barging in there and murdering the evil woman.
"I will not have you forgetting your place," the woman hissed. "This argument is over and if you say another word on the matter consider yourself jobless."
Rei snorted. "You're going to fire me? No, no, I don't think so. Because I QUIT! Hahahahaha!"
She turned on her heel, but the woman grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Oh really? And where will you go, hm? Where do you have family who will take you in?" She said venomously.
Rei pried her arm from the foul lady's grip. "I may have grown up in this orphanage, but now I'm nineteen and you don't own me anymore. I'm leaving."
I quickly darted back to the reception area as she made to leave the office. She came out rubbing her cheek, but her eyes lit up when she spotted me. "Oh! You were at the Andou home! Why are you here?"
"I want to see Shukumei," I said firmly.
She bit her lip. "I-I don't know if I can let you..."
"What's wrong? Are you afraid you'll get fired?" I said gleefully.
She eyed me curiously for a moment and then smirked and motioned for me to follow her. I mentally congratulated myself for my sheer brilliance and let her lead me. She brought me to a secluded room that was far from the one the other young kids were in. She took out a key and opened the door, letting me inside. Once inside she closed the door and stood beside it, motioning for me to go ahead. I took a deep breath and approached the bed. No one was in it. My eyes immediately traveled to the window, where a little girl was silhouetted in front of it. "Shukumei?"
Shukumei's head turned. I couldn't see her face, but I could tell by her tone that she was happy to see me. "Uncle Kaoru!"
She slid out of the window seat and limped over to me. My brow furrowed. Her limp had gotten worse. She flung her arms around my legs and immediately burst into tears. I shakily dropped down so I was sitting on the floor and took her into my arms. I held her as close to me as possible, stroking her hair and her back and whispering to her that she was okay. Finally she broke away and looked at me with trembling lips, her big eyes glassy. "K-K-Kaasan and Tou-Tousan don't w-w-want me anym-more!" She exclaimed before bursting into the most heart-wrenching sobs I have ever heard, her entire body shaking with grief.
Rei was kneeling beside us in a heartbeat and said the thing I had been too choked up to utter. "Of course they want you, Shukumei. Miss Akui lied to you. She took you away from Kaasan and Tousan. They're at home crying right now because they want you back," she said fervently.
Shukumei blinked at Rei and then looked at me. "Uncle Kaoru?"
"It's the truth, Shukumei," I managed, finding my voice.
Shukumei gasped and looked at Rei. "But why did Miss Akui lie?"
"Because she's a crazy bitch," Rei muttered.
I whapped her on the head. "Don't say that word in front of Shukumei! Don't you know Die could kill you for that?"
"Are Tousan and Kaasan okay? Can I see them?" Shukumei asked.
I smiled softly. "They're fine, but you can't see them just yet. I want you to tell me something, Shukumei. It's very important."
"Okay," she said in English.
I raised a brow. "Where'd you learn that word?"
She smiled. "Amedi-chan taught me!"
I nodded. "Ah, of course. Okay, Shukumei, I want to know why your foot has gotten worse. Did you get hurt? Did something happen?"
Rei looked over at me. "I noticed that, too."
Shukumei fingered strands of my hair as she thought over my question. Finally she spoke. "Miss Akui stopped giving me my medicine."
Rei gasped. "What!? Why?"
Shukumei shrugged. "I don't know... She said it would make Dr. Hasegawa happy. But my doctor is Dr. Arakure. Uncle Kaoru, can I do your hair?"
I gave an absent-minded nod and rubbed my chin thoughtfully. "That doesn't make any sense to me. Why would she do that?"
Rei was staring at the opposite wall as though something very shocking was on it. I looked at her, then at the wall, then back at her. "What?" I asked dumbly.
"Uncle Kaoru, stopping moving!" Shukumei exclaimed, grabbing my head and holding it in place.
Rei turned her shocked gaze to me. "Dr. Hasegawa comes to the orphanage once every six months to check up on the kids."
I raised my eyebrows in inquiry. "And? What's the big deal if he's a doctor?"
"He's not a physician. He's a psychiatrist," Rei explained further.
"Ahhhh!" I half-exclaimed. "But...I don't get it."
Her face fell. "Neither do I." She sighed, causing her bangs to fly up dramatically.
"Oh, wait!" I stood and handed Shukumei to Rei, then pulled out my cellphone and held down the number one. After all, it would make sense for me to have Kyo on speed dial, right?
"Niimura," came his tired reply.
"Hi, Kyo, it's Kaoru."
"Kaoru!? You son of a bitch, what the hell are you calling me at midnight for!?"
I hurriedly explained to him what we knew about Shukumei's case and held my breath, hoping he could make sense of it. He was only silent for a few seconds before he said, "Oh my god, Kaoru, do you have proof of this?"
"Proof of what?"
"That this lady stopped giving Shukumei her medication."
I sighed frustratedly. "What do you mean 'proof'? All I know is that Shukumei's foot has gotten worse and she said Miss Akui took away her medicine!"
"Damn. That's not good enough. We need solid evidence of this."
"Why? Can you please explain this to me?"
Kyo sighed. "Think about it, Kaoru. Why would this woman keep Shukumei secluded? Why would she tell her lies about Die and Shinya? Why would she take away her medication?"
I thought for a minute and then said the only thing that made sense to me. "Because she's Satan?"
He growled and I knew he would have hit me if he could have. "No, baka! Because the shrink is telling her to!"
I blinked. "What? That's your theory? Maybe I should have hired a private eye for this..."
"KAORU!" Kyo roared. "You fucking idiot, solving mysteries is my job! If you're too thick to figure it out then just let me spell it out for you!"
"Would you?" I asked sweetly.
He gave a ragged sigh and I could picture him running his hand through his hair. It was extremely sexy and I felt my pants getting tight. And then I heard another voice in the background. "Kyo-kun, why are you yelling? You woke me from my peaceful beauty sleep."
"I'm sorry, Gackun. Just go back to sleep, baby."
I heard a sloppy kissing sound and my libido deflated. "Kyo... Oi, Kyo, that's not funny. Kyo. KYO, STOP KISSING HIM AND TALK TO ME, DAMNIT!" I shrieked.
"Hush!" Rei exclaimed from the bed where she was letting Shukumei twist up her hair. "Someone might hear you!"
"Sorry. He won't go to sleep without a goodnight kiss," came Kyo's voice over the phone.
I growled in my throat. "Whatever. Now what were you saying?"
"In short, this psychiatrist is using Shukumei and her unfortunate childhood as an experiment. He wants to see what could really happen to her from bad experiences. I'll bet he also wants to see if physical problems so young in life will affect her mind growing up. Believe it or not, there are a lot of wackos out there who will use someone like that. They don't care about other people. They just want knowledge and the progression of society. And your orphanage lady obviously just wants a couple of extra pennies in her pocket."
It took about four seconds for that to seep in and then I was absolutely beside myself. "WHAT!? They're using Shukumei as an experiment? She's just a-a LAB RAT to this guy!? I'll kill him! No, no, I'll let Die kill him and then I'll spend several glorious hours jumping up and down on his dead carcass!"
Kyo laughed. "Now that's sexy."
My brain crashed and I spluttered out incoherent sentance fragments. Maybe he was kidding. Frankly, I didn't care. He called me sexy and that was enough to send me over the edge.
"Kaoru? You okay?" Kyo asked.
I snapped back together. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just...um...uh..."
"Damnit, Kaoru, now you've got me awake. Why don't you come by Gackt's right now so we can figure out how to get some hard evidence?"
I think I wet my pants in sheer glee. "Sure! See ya in a bit!" I chirped.
I hung up and tucked my phone back in my pocket. Rei stood. "We need to go. If Akui comes in here we could be in serious trouble and there's no telling what would happen to Shukumei then."
I nodded and approached the sleepy girl on the bed. I sat down and took her tiny hand in my big, rough one. "Shukumei, I have to go now, but I'm going to find a way to get you out of here and back to Tousan and Kaasan, okay? I promise. But you have to promise me that you'll be brave and never forget that they love you, no matter what happens. Okay?" I used the English word, no doubt my eye bearing a "twinkle."
Shukumei smiled and nodded. "Okay! And Uncle Kaoru, when I see you again can I do your hair? You never let me finish." She pouted cutely.
I chuckled and gave her hand a small squeeze. "Of course."
She spread her arms and I opened mine so she could give me a hug. Then she puckered her lips. My heart jumped remembering fondly the times I'd witnessed her saying goodnight to Die. I puckered my own lips and we met with a loud "mwah!" I ruffled her hair and stood. "Get some sleep, squirt."
She cuddled up under her blankets. "Goodnight, Uncle Kaoru. I love you!" She called.
My eyes stung with tears that I didn't understand. "I love you, too," I said softly.
Rei and I left and hurried back down to the reception area. She peeked in Akui's office and then sighed with relief. "She's asleep. She always falls asleep reading that dumb glamour magazine."
I chuckled and took her hand in mine, giving it a peck. "Thanks so much, Rei-san." I picked up a pad of paper off of the desk and scribbled down my cellphone number. "Here's my number. Just call me if you need anything, okay? It's the least I can do."
She smiled and took the paper, gingerly folding it and putting it in her pocket. "Thanks."
I turned to leave, but she called me back. "You heard our argument in the office, didn't you?" She questioned.
I blushed slightly and nodded. "Yeah, I did. I'm sorry you lost your job."
She laughed. "Not me! And I have one more question for you, sir!"
I raised my eyebrow inquisitively. She grinned. "What's your name?"
I chuckled. I'd never told her, had I? "Didn't you hear Shukumei calling me 'Uncle Kaoru'?"
Rei nodded. "Sure, but what's your surname? I can't just call you 'Kaoru' now..."
I gave her the sexiest smile I had. "Sure you can. Ta ta."
And I was gone, hoping she was drooling after me.
I mean, I wasn't young anymore and I would be proud to know I'd still wooed a teenage girl.
Anyway...within minutes I was outside of Gackt's manor. And let me just say that with the lightning, claps of thunder, and rustling wind, it was about ten times scarier. I knocked hard on the door and waited for it to open, looking anxiously up at the dark sky.
The door opened and Kyo stood there, wearing nothing but boxers. Kaoru Jr. perked up, but I tried to ignore him for the time being. "Well, hi, Kyo. Long time no see," I said.
He stepped aside. "Just come in and spare me the small talk."
So I did. We went to a parlor where the only light came from a roaring fire. I raised an eyebrow. "Gee, Kyo, if I didn't know any better I'd say you were going to try to seduce me. The fire gives off quite the 'mood'." I chuckled.
He glared at me. "Get over yourself. The room was cold and Gackt's too old-fashioned to have a heating system." He sighed.
I briefly wondered if I should say what I was thinking and then decided, what the hell? "He annoys you, doesn't he?"
I braced myself, sure that Kyo would grab me and kick me out, but he didn't. He sat down on the upholstered sofa with a deep sigh. "Sometimes."
I sat beside him and eyed him warily. "Well...do you love him?"
He scooted over to the far side of the couch. "Not yet...it takes time to fall in love--especially after your heart's been brutally dashed upon the rocks."
I swallowed. "Can I say I'm sorry...again?"
He nodded slightly and I let out a shaky sigh. "I'm sorry," I said meekly.
He scratched his head and stared at the carpet. After a minute or so he pulled his legs up so he was sitting cross-legged and looked back at me. "So how do you think we can get proof to save Shukumei?"
My heart dropped into my toes. Nice of him to change the subject. I shrugged. "No idea. You're the mastermind, you come up with something."
Itami-chan jumped up onto his lap and he scratched beneath her chin, looking thoughtful. "Well, I had thought we could bug the orphanage chick."
I hiked a brow. "What do you mean? Like, constantly get in her hair and drive her crazy?"
He whacked me upside the head. "You're so stupid sometimes," he mumbled. "Not that kind of bug, baka. Like, put a wire on her so we can hear everything she says wherever she goes."
"Ohhhh," I said in realization. "I see. Do you think I could do that?"
Kyo laughed. "No, I have no faith in you. But we'll see, ne? I can get you the equipment and I'll instruct you on how to do it without her noticing. Sound good? If that fails we'll just come up with another idea."
I nodded. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. How'd you get so smart?"
He sent me a mock glare, but I chuckled. We sat there in silence for awhile, the only sounds the crackling of the fire and Itami-chan's consistent purrs. Then I heard a sniffling sound. I looked over at Kyo, my brow wrinkled in concern. He was stroking Itami-chan's fur and staring straight ahead, his gaze sad and tears rolling down his cheeks. I felt my heartbeat quicken. Why was he crying? Was it something I said or did? Was he unhappy with Gackt? Did his tummy hurt? Why!? "Kyo?" I murmured, reaching over and very gingerly touching his arm.
He drew his knees up, squishing Itami-chan between them and his chest. She protested, but when he buried his wet face in her fur, she stopped squirming and just let him use her as a tissue. Good cat.
Anyway, I closed the space between us and set my hand in his sandy locks, gently massaging his scalp. "Kyo-chan...what's wrong?" I asked kindly.
He pushed Itami-chan off of his lap and cuddled up against me, burying his face in my chest. I held him close to me, feeling as though I could die then and I wouldn't even care. We sat like that for a few minutes and then he pulled away slightly, looking up at me. I gently brushed away his tears. "Kyo?"
He toyed with the material of my shirt. "Was it because I didn't please you? I wasn't good enough in bed? Or was it because I'm not young enough? Or-or was it because of the way I treated Itami-chan? Were you dissatisfied with me?" He asked, a quake in his voice.
I stared at him, all of his questions going over my moronic head. "What?" I finally asked.
"Why you cheated on me with Miyavi!" He exclaimed.
I sharply drew in my breath. Tears burned at the rims of my eyes. Kyo thought it was his fault. He was blaming himself for my idiocy.
"Kaoru, why are you crying?" He asked, sounding more innocent than I knew he was.
Indeed, tears were leaking out of my eyes. I looked down, shaking my head. He tilted my chin and wiped away the salty moisture. "Kaoru...I... When I think of you I touch myself."
I think my dick swelled enough to shred my underpants. Or it would have if I'd been wearing any. I stared at him. "You know...that's a huge turn-on."
He smiled and grabbed my hand, bringing it to rest on the bulge in his boxers. I hadn't even noticed it before. I didn't do well at hiding my shock either, letting out a little gasp and widening my eyes. "You did that," he hissed.
He removed his hand, but I kept mine where it was. I could feel his cock pulsating. Sweat was gathering on my face as I gently stroked it through the thin material. He shut his eyes and threw his head back, gasping. I stroked it again and again... Suddenly he was leaning against me, threading his fingers in my hair and kissing me. It was a soft kiss at first, but it quickly grew more passionate. Our tongues danced. I explored every crevice of his heated mouth, the feel of his body trembling against mine sending waves of pleasure through my aroused body. I pinned him to the couch and moved my kisses to his soft neck, pulling off his boxers as I did. I purposely brushed my hands over his erection as I brought them back up his body to toy with his nipples. "Kaoruuuu!" He moaned, running his hands up and down my back.
Blood coursed through my veins, gathering at my groin and setting me on fire. I had dreamed of hearing him say my name in ecstasy for so long... But this wasn't a dream. It was real. He was beneath me, his body heat pushing me over the edge in my lust, his lips whispering my name as his hands explored my body. My heart was pounding with so much joy that I thought it was just going to leap right out of my chest. I stopped necking him and came up to taste his wonderful mouth again. He sobbed into our kiss and I could taste his tears melting with our saliva. He still loves me, I thought, smiling against him.
I lowered my head to his throbbing member and gently bit at the head. He gasped and thrust out, by now panting. I looked up at him and we made eye-contact. "I love you," I whispered.
And then I took him into my mouth. He gave a loud cry and his fingers found my hair, tugging and pushing as he tried to fuck my mouth. I held his hips down and pleasured him how I wanted to, sliding my mouth sensually up and down over him. His cries grew more frequent.
"Nyan!" Itami-chan said.
Suddenly Kyo pulled away from me and snatched his boxers off of the floor, pulling them back on. "Oh my god! What am I doing?" He exclaimed, slumping to the floor and burying his face in his hands.
I knelt beside him. "Kyo...Kyo, you were practically asking me to! Please, can't we just--"
"No!" He exclaimed. "I fucked up, okay? I won't let you take me! I won't let you pleasure me! I don't want you to touch me again and I'm never going to touch you again either!"
"But Kyo!"
"I don't want to cheat on Gackt like you cheated on me!" He shrieked, shoving me hard enough to knock me onto my ass. "No one should be hurt like that ever! Yes, I initiated it, but I wasn't thinking properly."
My blood boiled with anger and I stood, towering over him. "Well now you have an idea of what was going on with me when I seduced Miyavi!"
He stood as well. "But did you back down? Did you stop and tell him you couldn't do it? Did you stop and tell him you already had a lover?"
I seethed. No, no, I hadn't. We'd been over this.
"What's more," Kyo continued, "you saw him again! And again! And a-fucking-gain!"
"I can't believe this! You put my hand on your goddamn penis!" I bellowed. "You wanted me to--"
"No, I don't!" Kyo shouted right back.
"Yes! And you still want me, too! You're just too arrogant to admit it!"
He gasped. "I'm arrogant!? You're the one who thought you could get away with sleeping with two people at the same time!"
I was so angry I couldn't see straight or think straight. In my opinion, Kyo was doing the exact same thing with me that I had done with Miyavi, yet he was still getting after me and not taking any blame himself. Plus, I was sexually frustrated. I attacked Kyo and pinned him to the couch, ripping off his boxers again. I unzipped my pants and freed my own arousal.
"Kaoru, stop it!" Kyo yelled, kicking me in the stomach.
I wrapped his legs around me and he resorted to hitting me repeatedly, so I pinned his arms above his head. "Kaoru!" He screeched. "That's enough! Now you're taking this argument too far!"
My head was telling me to get ahold of myself, but my cock was so hard by now that I was delirious with my want for Kyo. Remember when I said the other day that the sex didn't even matter to me anymore? Well, generally, yes. But when Kyo egged me on like he had, that sent that reasoning right out the window.
"Kaoru, what the hell is wrong with you!?" Kyo shouted.
And then I did something that...to this day...I just can't believe... I had never done something so atrocious in all of my life.
I penetrated him. He screamed and his hands squeezed mine in a death grip. Tears slid down his face. He stubbornly clenched his cheeks together, unwilling to allow me completely entrance, but I deliriously fought my way in, burying myself deep inside of him and moaning with undaunted pleasure. "God...Kyo..." I breathed out.
But then I heard something. Somehow my ears were still working. I heard the love of my life sobbing and telling me to stop. Then he whispered, "I hate you, Kaoru."
I came to my senses. Sexually frusrated or not, this was a crime! I was a criminal! What's more, I was raping the man I loved! Did I have zero self-control!?
I moved to pull out of him, but before I could extract myself completely, the door to the parlor burst open and Gackt stood there. All I can say is thank whatever deity exists he wasn't naked. He was wearing a red robe that was tied loosely around his waist. I didn't know Gackt was the possessive type, but I guess so. His eyes flashed dangerously and he marched over to me, grabbing me around the waist and yanking me off of Kyo, where he then dropped me to the floor, looking at me in disguist. Kyo curled up in the fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably into the couch cushion.
I bounced up and stuffed my still-hard length back into my pants, zipping them up. "Gackt, I can explain--"
He glared at me as he sat down beside Kyo. "Kyo-kun, what happened?" He asked softly, gingerly stroking Kyo's hair.
Kyo sat up and shakily reached for his boxers, pulling them back on. "I-I'm sorry, Gackt. We were discussing the case I told you about and then... I-I came onto him. He kissed me and I kissed him back. He pleasured me and I liked it. But then I realized what I was doing and I told him we needed to stop because I didn't want to cheat on you." He swallowed and a stray tear rolled down his cheek. "I know what it feels like to be cheated on." He irritably brushed the tear away. "But then Kaoru jumped me! And he-he tried to rape me!" He looked at me in shock, as though he was just now realizing what had happened.
Gackt tilted Kyo's chin and gave him a short kiss on the lips. "Don't worry, my angel. I forgive you. I understand the difficulties of mending a broken relationship. It means the world to me that you backed down. I find it very noble."
I felt like I'd just swallowed cat piss, listening to that speech. I glared at Gackt, completely at a loss for what to say. Not that it mattered. I couldn't speak anyway.
"Thank you," Kyo whispered, embarrassedly wiping his eyes.
Gackt stood and approached me. "As for you," he said, his voice suddenly dropping an octave and making him sound more threatening, "you should be reserved the deepest, darkest hole in hell for the way you have treated Kyo. First you cheated on him and now you're trying to take his body when he is unwilling? I was beginning to think that you loved Kyo, after what I've been seeing from your character these last couple of weeks. But now I have to doubt it. You disguist me, Kaoru-san. I want you to leave my home and never return."
I stared at him for a moment and then looked to Kyo, who had scooped Itami-chan up and was holding her close. "Kyo...Kyo, please... I love you so much! I-I was angry and sexually frustrated and I just wasn't fucking thinking! Please, Kyo, I realized what I was doing and was stopping when Gackt came in! Isn't--isn't that like what you were talking about? How I didn't stop when I did it with Miyavi? Kyo, this time I did stop! I realized and my heart broke because I love you and I fucking hate myself for hurting you! Please, Kyo, please!"
I sounded so desperate, but Kyo didn't seem to care. He stood and came up to Gackt, looking over at me. "You're dead to me now, Kaoru."
"No!" I sobbed, dropping to my knees. "Please, Kyo, please don't leave me like this...I didn't mean to! Please! I just don't want to lose you...not completely...please can we just--just be friends? Please?"
A silence descended on the mansion. A clap of thunder sounded outside. Kyo knelt before me. I pleaded to him with my eyes. He swallowed. "We'll be friends. I couldn't just send you away. It wouldn't be fair. I did start it anyway. I'm sorry."
I think I nearly died just then. Seriously. I grabbed his shoulders, ignoring Gackt's sudden movement beside me. "Kyo, stop apologizing to me! I'm the asshole who deserves to die! Goddamnit!"
He pulled away from me and stood. "You should go now. I'll call you about Shukumei," he said, retreating into Gackt's embrace.
I couldn't look at them. I couldn't bring myself to it. I just gave a nod and headed out. Once in the cool air of the outdoors I slumped down on the front steps. Slowly, but surely, tears began to roll down my face. The heavens opened up and cried with me, the wind howling and tossing the long-expected rain about. Within seconds I was soaked to the bone, but I didn't care. And as much as I hated to admit it, Gackt had said something very smart to me in there. His words rang in my ears even more than Kyo's did. "I was beginning to think that you loved Kyo, after what I've been seeing from your character these last couple of weeks. But now I have to doubt it. You disguist me, Kaoru-san." My body shuddered with deep sobs. "What the hell have I done?" I whispered. "I'm disguisting. I should rot in hell. I don't deserve to live."
With this new realization I stood up and trudged back to my car with one intention: to kill myself. To end my misery, as well as Kyo's.
Go to Part 14.
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Notes: 1) AAAAAAAGHDSFHOEIFRHSLFD! *murders self* How could I write that? HOW!? I'm such a terrible person! TT_TT
2) This chapter brings about the mystery-lover in me. =3
3) I hope you guys like Rei okay, because I think she's going to become an important character.
4) Ugh. Re-reading this I'm so annoyed with myself because I made Kaoru so amazing in the scene with Shukumei and then at the end he-he-he-- *stabs self several times with large knife*
5) I just want to point out that akui means "malice."
6) When Kyo says: "Why don't you come by Gackt's right now so we can figure out how to get some hard evidence?" I'll admit that I was already thinking dirty and that's why he said hard evidence. Get it hard? XD *ecchi*
7) Gackt is an intriguing character, isn't he? I mean, I kind of want to hate him because he's seperating Kyo and Kaoru... But at the same time, he's a good guy who's just a little bit dense...
8) Now, I just want to let you know that Kaoru doesn't kill himself. I mean, how could he? He's the one telling you the story. <<;;;