Growing Pains and Dames
Ever since I was 19 years old, I would leave a $20 bill on my dresser when I had a prostitute over for the night. You never exactly know what you are going to get when you make that call. Sometimes you know right away, “Yeah, I don’t like massive gaps in people’s teeth. Some do though: Madonna. So chin up. Here’s something for the trouble. Goodnight.”
Often, you have to go through the whole chit-chat, have the paid-for sex, smell the woman’s breath in the morning, see if she likes to talk about her family or not (hopefully not, or kid, gross). But you have to leave the money out to see if the woman is just an absolute cocaine fiend.
Only a pure cocaine fiend chooses the short term gain over the potential steady business. Pure fiend. The rate of swipe-swipe rate-is pretty high: about 40%. That’s the worst part of the night, when I realize that I’ve been pick-pocketed; the whole event makes me feel cheap and naïve and vulnerable. Of course, they will all deny it when you ask them or confront them, just like they’ll deny they have a four year old, even if you saw the photo in her purse that read, “Mom and Danielle at Halloween.” Yeah, I’m sure that’s your niece. Liar. Cheat.
At first I thought, “Hell, if I provide the woman with a saucer full of coke, then she won’t steal the $20.” Good thinking. That’s a great way to blow a gram and a Jackson. Then you get Miss Chatty Mouth who wants to talk about her most recent parking ticket and how far behind she is in Christmas shopping. Holy fuck woman. Stop talking. Use Amazon.com, it’s way efficient.
Anyway, I’ve settled down with 3-4 girls who are all pretty sweet. Well, three of them are sweet, one is just so sad and depressed that I call her just to make her feel good; I mean, she does have a nice rack, but I swear to God I think she cries almost every time we have sex. What’s with that?
Often, you have to go through the whole chit-chat, have the paid-for sex, smell the woman’s breath in the morning, see if she likes to talk about her family or not (hopefully not, or kid, gross). But you have to leave the money out to see if the woman is just an absolute cocaine fiend.
Only a pure cocaine fiend chooses the short term gain over the potential steady business. Pure fiend. The rate of swipe-swipe rate-is pretty high: about 40%. That’s the worst part of the night, when I realize that I’ve been pick-pocketed; the whole event makes me feel cheap and naïve and vulnerable. Of course, they will all deny it when you ask them or confront them, just like they’ll deny they have a four year old, even if you saw the photo in her purse that read, “Mom and Danielle at Halloween.” Yeah, I’m sure that’s your niece. Liar. Cheat.
At first I thought, “Hell, if I provide the woman with a saucer full of coke, then she won’t steal the $20.” Good thinking. That’s a great way to blow a gram and a Jackson. Then you get Miss Chatty Mouth who wants to talk about her most recent parking ticket and how far behind she is in Christmas shopping. Holy fuck woman. Stop talking. Use Amazon.com, it’s way efficient.
Anyway, I’ve settled down with 3-4 girls who are all pretty sweet. Well, three of them are sweet, one is just so sad and depressed that I call her just to make her feel good; I mean, she does have a nice rack, but I swear to God I think she cries almost every time we have sex. What’s with that?