Tired of being a Slave
Are you tired of being a slave to a job where your money goes to wars and little 'entertainments' you work so hard to get? I was thinking today about my life. My childhood was sublime. My teenage years were horrific. My twenties were superb. My thirties, at 33 to be exact, everything went to shit in a handbasket because of uncontrolled, stupid curiosity about something I already knew better than to do. Since then, 15 years now, nothing much has been better. I got sober, got back to work. Work hard enough to have medical insurance when I'm never sick. Hard enough to buy entertainment to go on my ipod so I can go to work to earn money. Growing older and getting more sore and more feeble by the day and yet.....other than maybe 18 years my life has pretty much sucked the big lemon. Yet I wouldn't trade it for anyone else's. It is mine. I earned it. I got my scars honestly. I grew wiser. I grew wise enough to realize that no matter how much I searched and strained and learned there would be an endless supply left to search and strain and learn about. So now I have reached the age where my mother is dying, and my father not long behind her. I will be here, in this house, probably, when I die. I have absolutely no fear of death, having experienced the other side. I fear the PROCESS of death of course, I abhor pain and am a real wuss. I meditate a lot more now, trying to trace myself back to my beginning and not waste my time left on this glorious planet, in a world without tsunamis or other horrible disasters, in my little protected corner of the world, in my garden with its tibetan prayer flags waving and vegetables and fruits grown by my own hands. I talk to my plants more, and my animals always. I listen to friends and am often unwise. I am human. i am proud to have done this tour on this planet. I see the psychopaths among us who rule at the top and we are the sheeple who keep them in Lambourginis and Islands. Knowing they are so superior in brain capacity I would love to say we will win out in the end, but I doubt we will. We will probably have to start over, as we have many times in the past. I brought no children into this world so I could have the ultimate personal experience, and have time to make all the mistakes i wanted. I am with my parents as they die, able to know them deeply and love them without end. My cat sits at my feet, kneading the blanket, and my dog has wandered off probably to deep sea dive in the catbox. I have lived a good life. I hope I will be able to go before the Infinite without bowed head, but look It straight in the eye with full knowledge I deserve the verdict given. Fear God, the Bible says. No. I cannot fear God. I am human. I am imperfect. But I am without fear. Another human failing, but one that keeps life interesting. It has been a good day. I am deeply appreciative to have been alive.