my life has no meaning aka Shameless US fic
I wrote Shameless fic because I have totally lost control of my life. Right now I just live and breathe this pairing and it's a good thing you can't wear out avi files because I have watched every single scene these two have like eight million times. H E L P. This is not the story I set out to write at all. I wanted all blowjobs, all the time, and
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Ugh firstly just, I love the flow and the pacing of this. All I ever want for these life ruiners is for them to delight in each others existence (omg I am such a secret sap) but have Mickey always be a little reticent, a little hesitant, but he just likes Ian so much he can't fucking help himself and he gets worn down and ughghgghh THIS FIC GIVES ME THAT. BOYSSSSSSSS. WHAT DO I NORMALLY DO WITH MY HANDSSSSSSS. Fucking Beatles songs, okay. I want to hold your hand, you fucking douchebag. Ughhhhh.
I LOVE that this is Mickey's POV of course, since we don't get that in the show and ugh he's such an interesting guy. You've REALLY captured his voice and his way of thinking and ugh I love him so much in here. And we get to see his and Mandy's relationship too, which is equally fascinating. Mandy is so awesome and deserving of a great boyfriend who isn't gay and fucking her brother and I love her tattoo and how it really just shows that all of these kids literally wear their hearts on their fucking sleeves and IT KILLS ME. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FOR THAT they might internalise and be shitty to each other but at the bottom of it all they love each other unconditionally. Even Mickey, with his facade, the bullying, lol I've said this before but there's a real vulnerability to him, I feel - and it's especially brought out when Ian is involved (kill me). And lol I don't even need to mention how much Ian wears his feelings all over his stupid freckled ginger face, omg.
What am I even typing anymore.
I JUST LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH MORGAN. SO. MUCH. AND THAT'S NOT JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE LIKE 5 FICS TOTAL IN THIS ENTIRE FANDOM. I love Lip and Mickey and their little antagonistic bonding sessions ahhhhhh, they need more scenes together next season. And MAKEOUTS, MAKEOUTS ALWAYS AND FOREVER FOR THESE TWO sobbing so obsessed but I think I will literally die when they get to kiss on screen (WHICH BETTER FUCKING HAPPEN SHOWTIME, OR I WILL BURN. SHIT. DOWN.) Also the not!spooning which omg Mickey's heart racing at a million miles an hourrrrrrrrrr that is how much Ian affects him and it is so beautiful.
Ian pokes his tongue out to worry the tender spot on his bottom lip with a little smile that Mickey would pretty much do anything to see again and again.
drowning in a pool of my own feelings.
ilu. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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I will leave a real reply later.
ETA: OKAY BACK and you're not even awake yet so I just going to edit this comment and
SISI
HEARTS IN MY EYES OH MY GOD. Like, ugh, thank you so much. I can't thank you enough for like listening to me drone on and on and entertaining my meta about Mickey's motivations and LOL CATCHING MY DROPPED PREPOSITIONS. Seriously, you are the light of my liiiiiiiiiiiife.
Ugh, Mickey Milkovitch, just be all over my television forever. Ugh, he's in the world's most awkward position and he's pursuing Ian anyway and when Ian goes to visit Mickey in juvie where he's been sentenced for a YEAR (but maybe a couple months) he AIN'T EVEN MAD even though all he did was eat a Snickers bar and turn his back on Kash omg Mickey is so unbelievably into Ian that he's like "Bullet wound, jail sentence, WHATEVS." What I wanted to do with this fic was have Mickey kind of come to terms with his own feelings to the point that he's like "Okay, fine, I'm all in," even if that kind of means sharing Ian.
AND MANDY. MANDY MILKOVITCH, HEAD BITCH OF MY HEART. I actually love her on the show too, which you know, but ugh I want so much to do her justice because she's sassy and brave and I loved her so much in the moment in episode three when she said that she thought Ian might be making it up because he thinks she's ugly, like OMG bravest 15 year old girl ever, exposing those ugly vulnerabilities in herself to someone who's already rejected her. And her faaaaaace after Ian leaves her house with the gun where she's so in love with him is just not fair because Mandy deserves so much more than a half-boyfriend who can't even be bothered to figure out she's falling for him super hard.
The one thing I worry about is that maybe I didn't portray Ian as selfish as I wanted him to be. And I wish I'd incorporated Karen into the narrative better.
Ugh I just want Mickey and Lip to hang out do a variety show or something where they just snip at each other. Even though I did nothing but complain about this fic, I had so much fun exploring Mickey's feelings and his whole world-weary monologue made me laugh.
AS EVER, THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND THIS COMMENT MADE ME SO HAPPY.
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