(no subject)
Ok well its been awhile since I wrote in here but I finally have time too. Well what to say first I got to see Mike for the first time in like 6 months a week ago. I miss that boy so much and I wish I could be with him for the rest of my life, but nothing that good could ever happen for me. When I saw him again all my feelings came back and now hes blowing me off like he used to. I think everything he said to me that night was a lie, thanks a lot for breaking my heart again, I dont mind it Im used to it by now I dont have feelings anyway right? And another thing I have been feeling unwelcome everywhere I go, work and with my friends. I mean like everytime I call Kaytie she never answers. And today if it werent for me having James with me I wouldnt have gotten to spend anytime with the girls I used to have. Its like they have pushed me away all of a sudden, just last week me and Kaytie were talking about how our group is so fun to hang out with cuz we are all different. What group are you talking about now, you and Liz? I feel so left out of everything now, is it becuz I have decided to start drinking again or what? I really want to know. I guess Im not worth the gas money to come see anymore. I mean last Saturday nobody was at my house with me, thanks a lot guys, showing me that you care and all. Yeah maybe you all have bf's and I dont but does that mean we cant be friends. I mean when is the last time I have gotten to really talk to any of you girls. Im so sad and Im starting to get depressed again and not a damn person is here for me. Not to talk, not to hang out , nothing.... I dont know what else to say until someone tells me whats really going on. All I have to say is Im sorry for being the way I am. And Im also sorry i cant be what you want. But I have changed so much Im not changing for anyone again cuz I only get hurt. And if you cant except me for who I am your not worth it. Give me a call when your ready to tell me whats going on in your head. I try to be a good friend but for you girls obviously Im not good enough. Must be cuz I dont have a car thanks.
Jenny
Jenny