Why I have over 2,500 e-mails in my e-mail filing cabinet from the past five years:
Some of it is funny:
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A couple of weeks ago Mike, my boss, is sitting at his desk when he shouts over the wall, "what is that smell!" And I ask what does it smell like? And he says like a farm or a circus, but smaller. So, after a while he says the smell went away. The next day we go through the same thing only this time he says he thinks someone is coming over to his desk and leaving lingering smells behind. I start to think he is a little crazy. That weekend he and his wife stop by work between dinner and a movie because Mike has to reset a router. While he is doing this he also decides to open up a few of the packages that have started to pile up outside his cubicle. Most of them are keyboards and disk drives, stuff we keep in stock. He gets down to the bottom box and slices it open and sees a styrofoam cooler and is immediately hit with a whiff of major decomposition. He looks at the outside of the cardboard box and sees that it is addressed to one of our chefs in R&D. It is the 13th. The box is post marked the 3rd. Mike tapes the box back up, goes down to the R&D department and leaves the box on the chef's desk. Happy Monday morning Mr. R&D chef.
Next story. Last week I was looking for a shipment from Office Depot. I can't find it anywhere but the Office Depot site says it was delivered last Thursday. I called down to receiving and asked for Edwardo. Edwardo is the only guy down there that takes the whole receiving concept seriously. Edwardo isn't there. I talked to a guy who insisted that if it had come in, it would have been delivered to me. It wasn't delivered to me, therefore, it didn't come in. Next I talk to a woman down there. I tell her, "I'm Jon from upstairs in IT. I'm looking for an Office Depot order that was delivered last Thursday." She says, "OK, do you have a PO number?" I'm thinking she must have found more than one order and she's looking for mine. I tell her the number and she asks me "Do you have a number that starts with an 'A'?" I tell her no. She says "I really need the PO number so that I can look it up in our system." I tell her that it's not going to be in our system that it's only going to be in Office Depot's system because we don't put those PO's in our system. She says, "That's OK, I just need the PO number so that I can look it up in our system so I can find the delivery." I tell her it's NOT going to be in our system, to which she replies "But if there was someway you could find the correct PO number, because I can't look it up in our system without it." I tell her, "It's NOT GOING TO BE IN OUR SYSTEM!" And she says to me "It doesn't matter if it's not in YOUR system, I want to look it up in MY system." I say to her: YOUR SYSTEM, MY SYSTEM! IT'S THE SAME SYSTEM! I IS WE, WE IS US. WE WORK FOR THE SAME COMPANY!!!" She says, "Oh. I better get Edwardo to call you back when he comes in. Who is this again?"
I get off the phone and realize that half the department is laughing and Ed, a consultant says to me "Having some problems with receiving?" And I say "Yes. Did you hear all of that?" He says "Yes." And I ask "So, did I really say 'I is we, we is us'?"
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A couple of weeks ago Mike, my boss, is sitting at his desk when he shouts over the wall, "what is that smell!" And I ask what does it smell like? And he says like a farm or a circus, but smaller. So, after a while he says the smell went away. The next day we go through the same thing only this time he says he thinks someone is coming over to his desk and leaving lingering smells behind. I start to think he is a little crazy. That weekend he and his wife stop by work between dinner and a movie because Mike has to reset a router. While he is doing this he also decides to open up a few of the packages that have started to pile up outside his cubicle. Most of them are keyboards and disk drives, stuff we keep in stock. He gets down to the bottom box and slices it open and sees a styrofoam cooler and is immediately hit with a whiff of major decomposition. He looks at the outside of the cardboard box and sees that it is addressed to one of our chefs in R&D. It is the 13th. The box is post marked the 3rd. Mike tapes the box back up, goes down to the R&D department and leaves the box on the chef's desk. Happy Monday morning Mr. R&D chef.
Next story. Last week I was looking for a shipment from Office Depot. I can't find it anywhere but the Office Depot site says it was delivered last Thursday. I called down to receiving and asked for Edwardo. Edwardo is the only guy down there that takes the whole receiving concept seriously. Edwardo isn't there. I talked to a guy who insisted that if it had come in, it would have been delivered to me. It wasn't delivered to me, therefore, it didn't come in. Next I talk to a woman down there. I tell her, "I'm Jon from upstairs in IT. I'm looking for an Office Depot order that was delivered last Thursday." She says, "OK, do you have a PO number?" I'm thinking she must have found more than one order and she's looking for mine. I tell her the number and she asks me "Do you have a number that starts with an 'A'?" I tell her no. She says "I really need the PO number so that I can look it up in our system." I tell her that it's not going to be in our system that it's only going to be in Office Depot's system because we don't put those PO's in our system. She says, "That's OK, I just need the PO number so that I can look it up in our system so I can find the delivery." I tell her it's NOT going to be in our system, to which she replies "But if there was someway you could find the correct PO number, because I can't look it up in our system without it." I tell her, "It's NOT GOING TO BE IN OUR SYSTEM!" And she says to me "It doesn't matter if it's not in YOUR system, I want to look it up in MY system." I say to her: YOUR SYSTEM, MY SYSTEM! IT'S THE SAME SYSTEM! I IS WE, WE IS US. WE WORK FOR THE SAME COMPANY!!!" She says, "Oh. I better get Edwardo to call you back when he comes in. Who is this again?"
I get off the phone and realize that half the department is laughing and Ed, a consultant says to me "Having some problems with receiving?" And I say "Yes. Did you hear all of that?" He says "Yes." And I ask "So, did I really say 'I is we, we is us'?"