Living Louder [1/2]
Title: Living Louder
Pairing: Junmyeon/Kyungsoo, Taekwoon/Hakyeon, Minseok/Luhan, Wonshik/Hongbin.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Most of the characters in this fic are girls, dry humor, cursing, brief angst.
Word count: 13,8k.
Disclaimer: The girls(boys) belongs to their respective companies, the band name The New London Fire belongs to Mikey Way, I simply borrowed it for the occasion. I just wrote this.
Summary: Junmi falls in love with a song, and the girl who sings it.
A/N: Written for girlexochange's 2015 fest. Title comes from The Cab’s song “Living Louder”. A big, big thanks to my tlist for helping me through this and keeping me sane.
Junmi runs her hands down her soft, generic cotton blend blouse. The flower print is soft under her hands as she meticulously checks it for any wrinkles. She ironed it yesterday, of course, but she sees no harm in being thorough. It's her first day at this new university after all.
She crosses the floor on socked feet, heading for her backpack lying in the corner. Everything is already packed, saved for her lunch box, waiting for her in the small fringe in the shared kitchen. She pauses, however, mid-way, as something hanging on her magnet board catches her eye.
The magnet board is a couple of years old, filled with Junmi's weekly schedule. Every day of the week has a box, in which she usually writes important stuff to remember, deadlines, things she's going to attend, etc. Most of the boxes are empty, save for Tuesday, this day, that has first day of uni written in a box. Some of the letters spilling out of the marked frame.
Next to the drawn schedule, there are pictures, held up by flower magnets, and it's the one in the middle that catches her attention.
It's from her high school graduation, almost two years ago. The picture is of her and her friends, most of them crying - Junmi the most - holding their diplomas as they all look in the camera, trying to smile despite the tears in their eyes. Junmi looks horrible, but she loves the picture, loves how real it feels.
Seunghee, Kyuri, Minyoung and Junmi. In their school uniforms, flowers in their hair, hands curled tightly around each other’s' waists. Kyuri tried to calm Junmi down. She managed, minutes later. Junmi's mother took a picture of that too, but Junmi likes this picture the best. It's how she remembers her friends, this is how their little group were, used to be.
A smile, warm, forms on Junmi's lips and for a second time stops as she remembers, longs, misses. Seunghee, Kyuri and Minyoung aren't with her, their tiny group of friends spread out over the country when they all started university, getting in to different schools.
They were going to attend the same one, they said, promised. Life doesn't always do what you want it to. Even so, they’re staying in touch through Kakao Talk, having their own chatroom named Kyuline, since Kyuri was the one who brought them all together. Junmi smiles at the memory.
The moment, Junmi's moment, is interrupted by a series of short knocks on her door.
"Yes?" Junmi's door is open, has been ever since she moved into the dorms a week ago. She's not used to lock her doors. She never did it back home.
"Good morning!" A girl with small, bright eyes, wild, red hair and a toothy grin sticks her head into Junmi's room. She steps fully into the room as Junmi returns her greeting and her smile.
She's the resident assistant in Junmi’s dorm: Kim Minchae, junior, majoring in something sports related, minoring in music composing. Junmi doesn't really remember. She feels bad for it for a second, but it is all whisked away when Minchae bounces over to where Junmi is standing, elegantly ignoring the small heaps of Junmi's rejected first day of school-clothes lying scattered on the floor.
"Nervous?" Minchae asks, something akin to sympathy in her voice as her hand comes up to squeeze Junmi's shoulder.
They've been talking about this. A lot. Junmi was the first freshman who moved into the dorm, into Minchae's hall, and thus Minchae, a year Junmi's senior, has been taking care of her a lot. She hasn't been seeing that much of her lately, but Junmi knows that it's because Minchae's hall has slowly filled up and now she has other residents to look after than just Junmi.
"A bit yeah," Junmi agrees, teeth worrying her bottom lip for a while before she looks up to meet Minchae's gaze. She continues quickly when she notices Minchae's frown. "But not as much as I thought I would, I guess?"
It seems to soothe Minchae some. She squeezes Junmi's shoulder again before she lets go.
"How about you, eonni?" Junmi asks when she notices Minchae is in her usual t-shirt and sweatpants combo.
"We're not having classes before next week," Minchae grins, scratching the back of her neck. "It's freshman week and everything, so unless we're helping with that, we're off for another week."
Junmi thinks Minchae has told her this before, but she probably forgot. If she did, Minchae isn't commenting on it.
"I'm meeting Taeeun, Lu Hua and some of the other girls from our team for some light practice this afternoon though. Soccer season starts soon, better check if our team is where it should be, physically." As she says this, a devilish grin spreads out on Minchae's face, and Junmi finds herself relieved that she's not on Minchae's soccer team.
"Anyway," Minchae says after a while, drawing out the vowels as she speaks. Junmi fights the urge to laugh at her. "I just wanted to wish you good luck! Not that you'll need it, Junmi. I'm sure this will go just fine."
Junmi wishes she was as optimistic as Minchae. Nevertheless, she pulls on a brave face when Minchae bids her goodbye, walks out of Junmi's room, closing the door behind her with a soft click, leaving Junmi alone with her churning thoughts.
The campus is crowded, to say the least. However, it calms Junmi down some to see that she isn't the one who wanders around aimlessly alone. Some of the freshmen has gathered in groups, some of them accompanied by their parents, but most of them are alone. There are sophomores, juniors, seniors - Student Helpers - everywhere, holding large banners and flags in different colors, stating which faculty they belong to, and also which field of study.
Junmi hasn't seen hers yet. She contemplates asking some of the Student Helpers, surely they must know where she's supposed to be, and yet, she hasn't. It's unlike her, she doesn't usually act like this. She's usually outgoing, social, friendly and all those other positive adjectives.
She's not in her usual environment, she doesn't know this place, she's not familiar with its people. Like Minchae would say, it's not her home stadium.
For the fourth time since she walked from her dorm, Junmi digs her phone out from the pocket in her jeans, punching in the code to unlock it, then clicking on the e-mail icon.
The e-mail, sent to her from her faculty, doesn't specify where she's supposed to meet the Student Helper from her faculty. It only states vaguely that it's in the vicinity of the library, and that she should be there no later than 9 am.
With her eyes trained on the screen, Junmi starts walking, wondering if she's on the wrong side of the library. The X marked on her map looks like it's placed on the north side, closer to the sports arena than the park.
Suddenly, Junmi crashes into something soft, warm and doesn't manage to react before she finds herself, butt planted firmly on the ground, foreign fingers wrapped around her wrist. The knuckles on her left hand are white from how tight they are holding onto her phone.
Dumbfounded, she looks up and is met with a pair of sparkling, brown eyes, and a voice as sparkling as the girl's eyes.
"I'm sorry! Are you ok?" Sparkling Girl asks, and before Junmi manages to respond, Sparkling Girl is pulling her up from the asphalt, smiling widely at her. Sparkling Girl is wearing the bright yellow Student Helper shirt, over a black, long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of black pants. Her dark hair falls elegantly over her shoulders, heavy bangs covering her forehead. Sparkling Girl is taller than her, about half a head taller.
When Junmi doesn't answer, Sparkling Girl continues to talk.
"You're a Freshman aren't you?" Her smile grows softer, eyes even kinder, almost maternal as she looks at Junmi, hand still wrapped around Junmi's wrist, as if she's afraid Junmi will run away.
Junmi nods once, Sparkling Girl laughs, loud and obnoxious, but it fits her, somehow, Junmi thinks.
"I'm Hayeon. Cha Hayeon. Junior and Student Helper," Sparkling Girl says, pointing to the name tag glued to her shirt. In her free hand, she's holding a purple banner. Sparkling Girl, Hayeon, belongs to a different faculty than Junmi. Her heart sinks a little. She wouldn't mind having Hayeon as her Student Helper.
"Kim Junmi, Freshman," Junmi says, bowing as deep as she can, what with Hayeon's grip on her wrist and all.
"I knew it," Hayeon beams, eyeing Junmi. "You Freshmen have this wild, frightened look over you. Makes it really easy to spot you for the first two weeks or so."
Junmi isn't sure what to say so she settles for smiling.
"Did you lose your Student Helper? Which faculty do you belong to?"
"No. Um, I haven't- I haven't been able to find them yet?" Junmi says, her hand coming down to pull at the hem of her shirt. Hayeon's eyes follow the movement before she looks back up.
"Well I don't blame you. The organization is a mess, and even with the color system, freshmen still have issues finding their faculties and designated Student Helpers," Hayeon grumbles, eyes narrowing slightly as she scans their surroundings.
"I'm sorry?" Junmi asks, biting her bottom lip.
Hayeon's face brightens again, squeezing Junmi's shoulder good-naturedly. "Don't worry! I'll help you find your faculty. Which faculty do you belong to?"
"The faculty of Education and International Studies," Junmi says automatically, having memorized the name ever since she received the welcome e-mail two months earlier. "It says in the e-mail that we're supposed to meet outside the library, but I think maybe I'm on the wrong side? I can't see anyone with my color, or the faculty's banner here."
Something twinkles in Hayeon's eyes as Junmi speaks. It reminds her on how Minchae's eyes sparkle when she talks about soccer. It makes Hayeon seem even more enthusiastic and dedicated than she had been seconds prior. Just like on Minchae, it made Junmi both fear and respect her.
"Your color is green?" Hayeon's voice is tilted as a question, but something tells Junmi that it's not.
Junmi nods.
"Don't worry Junmi," Hayeon chirps, patting Junmi's hand. "I know exactly who and where your Student Helper is."
With those words, Hayeon drags Junmi after her through the crowd of students, her steps sure as she walks them to the western side of the library.
The crowd is thinner here, Junmi notices, the spaces to walk in wider, the voices lower, fewer. There are fewer buildings on this side of the enormous library, only a small bookstore, a no-brand coffee shop and a vast amount of forest behind them. Junmi remembers reading about the forest in the University's booklet. It's only about a thousand square feet, but it's there for the people majoring in agriculture. Junmi also read that there's a trail there that the sports majors frequent often.
Junmi is a bit puzzled when Hayeon guides her to the coffee shop, the pace of her steps quickening as the crowd clears and then, Junmi sees her.
Wow, she's tall is the first thought that pops up into Junmi's head. Hayeon too is taller than Junmi, but this girl seems like she's taller than Hayeon by an inch or two. Unlike Hayeon, she's not wearing the yellow Student Helper shirt; it's wrapped around her waist instead.
Even if Junmi had managed to find her on her own, she would never have approached her. This girl radiates coldness, a stark contrast to Hayeon who's emitting sunshine. Her dark brown hair is pushed back into a high pony tail, bangs falling into her eyes as she sips on an iced Americano.
When Hayeon and Junmi approach her, she just looks at them, her kitten-like eyes small, slanted as her gaze flickers from Hayeon, briefly to Junmi, and then back to Hayeon. Surprisingly, Hayeon, too, remains quiet for a time, meeting Tall Girl's gaze with her own.
Junmi's skin is itching.
"Honestly, can't you do your job?" Hayeon says after a while, breaking the silence. She finally lets go of Junmi's wrist, then, leaning forward to chop Tall Girl's neck with the side of her hand, their skin tones stark contrasts.
If Junmi had been a photographer, this would be one of the moments she'd want to capture.
When Tall Girl remains quiet, sipping at her iced beverage, Hayeon rolls her eyes, mutters something under her breath as she turns to Junmi.
"Kim Junmi, this is Jung Taeeun, she's one of the Student Helpers for the Faculty of Education and International Studies." Hayeon's voice is softer as she speaks to Junmi. Tall Girl - Taeeun - looks over at Junmi and the weight of her gaze makes Junmi's skin crawl, the fine hairs on the back of her neck standing up.
Taeeun is scary, and Junmi would rather take a bath with a shark than bow to her, showing her exposed neck, but she does out of courtesy, even manages to smile as she repeats her name.
"How come you're not at your designated space? What about the students?" Hayeon says exasperatedly. Taeeun does not budge. Hayeon punches her again.
"Yixin's looking after the kids," Taeeun murmurs. Junmi jumps at Taeeun's voice, so much softer, kinder than Junmi had expected her to sound. Hayeon's gaze softens. "I was just getting coffee."
Hayeon sighs, but it's fond, Junmi notices, as Hayeon leans forwards to tug at the yellow shirt around Taeeun's waist.
In the end, Hayeon leaves Junmi with Taeeun after getting a phone call, saying she needed to get back to her group. She squeezed Junmi's shoulder once more, engaged in a silent conversation with Taeeun before she headed back the direction where she and Junmi had come from minutes earlier.
Yixin, Junmi learns when Taeeun wordlessly walks away and Junmi follows, is much friendlier than Taeeun. At this point, anyone would be friendlier than Taeeun, but Yixin is genuinely kind.
With her pixie cut and short, slender frame, she looks like, well, a pixie. Her smile is warm, kind, and she immediately makes Junmi feel at ease at once, within just minutes of knowing her. It’s not just Junmi that feels that way either, she notices, as the other freshmen are equally relaxed around Yixin, but walks on needles around Taeeun, who seems mostly oblivious.
“Taeeun eonni is just shy,” Yixin tells them later, voice hushed, as she huddles them close. Some of the other freshmen murmur as Yixin talks, doubtful. “She could never hurt a fly.”
As if on cue, Taeeun turns towards them, blinks. Yixin laughs. Then, out of the blue, Taeeun colors slightly, a warm pink blossoming on both her cheeks. She looks away quickly, and Yixin winks at them.
“What did I tell you?” She says, sticking out her chest.
Taeeun becomes slightly warmer towards them, and Junmi thinks that Yixin is right. Maybe.
"Have you given any thought to whether you're going to join a club or not?" Yixin asks one lazy afternoon in the midst of freshman week. Yixin, Junmi, Taeeun and a couple of others from their group are seated on blankets spread out on the lawn at the outskirts of the campus.
The trips and tours with the freshman groups aren't mandatory, but so far Junmi has been to every single one, meeting Yixin and Taeeun outside the library every day at 9 am. They haven't been doing stuff that Junmi couldn't have missed, but being new in this city as well as this university, she doesn't feel like she can afford to miss anything.
Taeeun had told her that most of the students at the university were people who had grown up in the area, and that was why the dorms weren't as big as they would be in other universities because most people still lived at home to get out of paying rent.
The freshmen and freshmen helpers are gathered around a small stage, as today is club day, where the sole purpose is to show the freshmen what kind of after school clubs and activities they have at the university.
"I think I'd want to join a club," Junmi says, curling her feet under her, tugging at her skirt. If this had been last year, if Junmi had been last year’s Junmi, she wouldn't have joined a club, but instead visited the local church and gotten involved in their work.
Junmi doesn't want that anymore.
Yixin leans forward; both her hands clutching a kimbap roll as she looks at Junmi with interest, bangs falling into her eyes. She tries to blow them away, but fails. "Which one do you want to join? Have you seen any clubs that seem interesting?"
While she talks, Junmi notices she has rice sticking to her upper lip. Junmi bites her cheek so she won't laugh. It'd be rude to laugh at Yixin now, when she's so dedicated, passionate about Junmi's choice of after school activity.
"I'm not quite sure yet," Junmi admits, Yixin blinks at her, rice still stuck to her lips. Back home Junmi had been working as a volunteer at her local church, as well as being in the church choir since she was a little girl. Music has always meant a lot to her so maybe she should continue that path. But then again, discovering something new would also be nice.
"Don't worry Junmi!" Yixin beams, pointing at Junmi with her kimbap roll. "We have tons of after school activities here. Surely there's something here that will catch your interest!"
That second, Taeeun flits into Junmi's vision as she tends to do. It doesn't stop Junmi's heart from hammering in her chest, doesn't stop her from jumping a bit further onto the blanket in shock.
"Sorry," Taeeun murmurs as she crosses her legs, sitting down next to Yixin. Taeeun brought three bags with her, all carrying the 7/11 logo. Junmi watches as she fishes out a can of iced coffee before she shoves the three bags to the center of their blanket, telling everyone to grab a drink.
The bottle of chilsung Junmi digs up from the bag is still cool, beads of moisture traveling down the green plastic as she works the lid open.
"I'm in the marching band and in the performance club," Yixin tells her enthusiastically, inching closer to Junmi, her slender hands grabbing onto Junmi's shirt. Taeeun's mask of stone is back. "If you're into music or dancing, you could join one of those! Or maybe both! They're lots of fun and everybody are really nice. The marching band always need new people, and in the performance club we operate in different teams so there's always room for new people!"
Yixin is speaking so fast she's almost vibrating with energy. Her eyes are sparkling as she continues to gush about the members in the two clubs, and how fun it would have been if Junmi could join. But of course, Junmi shouldn't feel pressured to join! Yixin is quick to tell her, arms flailing.
Junmi jumps in shock for the second time that day when something coarse rubs against her bare leg, eyes wide as she lifts her gaze to see Taeeun stretching out her long, slender legs. The jean material of her short overalls being the culprit. She leans back, propping herself up on her elbows as she looks from Junmi to Yixin.
"What are you interested in?" Taeeun asks, unprompted. While she still sounds and looks like she's bored out of her mind, Junmi is surprised she bothers enough to ask. She squirms under Taeeun's gaze, still finding her somewhat frightening.
"Music, I guess?" Junmi says after a while, playing with the label of the chilsung bottle, unable to look away from Taeeun's scrutinizing gaze. While both Yixin and Hayeon have reassured Junmi that Taeeun is the friendliest thing ever, Junmi cannot shake the feeling of serial killer off when Taeeun looks at her. She seems so put together and cold. Most of the time, Junmi wonders if there's anything that can whip that frown off her face.
"You guess?" Taeeun asks, frowning at Junmi.
"Music. I like music." Junmi says quickly, pulling absently at the hem of her skirt.
If Junmi is to guess, the next expression that falls over Taeeun's face is actually, surprise. She sits back up and inches closer to Yixin and Junmi, her eyes wide.
"What kind of music?" Taeeun asks. Junmi has never heard her speak as loud as she just did. "The university has a lot of music clubs; I'm in one of them myself."
Taeeun is not on Yixin's level of enthusiasm - how could anyone be - however, if this is Taeeun being genuinely interested, eyes sparkling, Junmi will take it.
"Piano, classical music, ballads," Junmi replies. Taeeun smiles, for the first time in forever. It's small, shy, but shows off her tiny bottom teeth for a brief second before she closes her mouth, the corners of her lips still curled up. Taeeun bites at her bottom lip, effectively killing the smile, but that shine in her eyes are still there.
Suddenly there's a high noise, a blast of music vibrating over the lawn, causing Junmi to hurl her bottle away, seconds away from scrambling into Yixin's lap.
The song is loud, obnoxiously so, bass deep, and it feels like it's vibrating into Junmi's bones. It sounds like some generic pop song, although she can't name it. It's probably one of those mass produced songs by one of those mass produced groups that no one in ten years will remember. Junmi fights the urge to cover her ears; it wouldn't be polite to do so.
Next to her, Yixin is bobbing her head in time with the rhythm, those small pieces of rice still stuck to her upper lip, and Junmi wonders briefly if she should tell her about their existence.
Just as she's about to speak, Yixin turns her face towards Junmi, speaking loudly. "This is one of the performance groups! They're called Starlights, and their focus area is pop, while the group I am in are more R&B."
Yixin stops talking as the group, made completely up of girls - Junmi counts six of them - enters the stage through a thin veil of smoke. Junmi squints to get a better view of the girls through the smoke. They're all beautiful, bare legs and arms, all in the same color; gold. It's hard to tell from where Junmi is sitting, but it looks like they're wearing headbands on top of their hair, with something akin to cat ears on top of them.
Despite the terrible song, Junmi finds herself getting lost in their movements, how it seems like their limbs are fluid, all of them in synch with the music. She has to keep herself from gaping when she notices they're all dancing in high, black heels. Junmi has always been confident enough in her singing, but she doesn't have any rhythm in her body at all, usually sitting down when there had been dancing parts in family parties or celebrations.
Just as the chorus blasts through the speakers, Junmi recognizes one of the people in the performance group: Hayeon. She's wearing gold like the rest of the group: a high waisted shorts and a crop top, revealing tiny slivers of her tan skin as she moves. Her dark brown hair is pushed back and up into a tiny ponytail, cat ears perked on top of her head as well. The gold really brings out her skin, Junmi notes, and it seems like she's glowing as she dances, moves catlike.
The first song blends out in another one, equally bass-y, still with the same similar thumping rhythm.
On stage, the girls swarm to the end of the stage, kicking off their high heels, replacing them with flat sneakers as they get back in position. The next song isn't as sultry as the first one, cheerier, and there's boys singing it this time. It doesn't make it any less generic, but Junmi enjoys seeing the girls perform, smiles on all of their faces like it had been on the previous song as well.
The second song is also their last, and Hayeon introduces them afterwards, breathlessly, as Starlight, just like Yixin had told Junmi earlier. Hayeon talks for a couple of minutes, talking about the group in general, and that they're to hold tryouts next week. She also informs them that the next group will go onto the stage in about fifteen minutes, and that it's the mixed formal dancers.
"You did great!" Yixin grins when Hayeon comes to join them, giving her a high five. Now that's she's up close, Junmi can see the golden eyeshadow and the fake eyelashes Hayeon wears. Her eyes are lined with gold and black as well, her cheeks pink, chest heaving a bit from the dancing.
She's beautiful.
"It was amazing to watch," Junmi admits, smiling at Hayeon who beams back as she claims a place on the blanket next to Taeeun, who looks like she has seen a ghost.
"Yixin ah, you got something-" Hayeon says, leaning forward to pick the stray rice away from Yixin's top lip. Yixin just blinks at her.
"Oh, rice!" Yixin exclaims, smiling as she takes the rice from Hayeon's hands, looking thoughtfully at them, poking the rice with her index finger.
A silence falls over them for a short while.
"I wish I could dance like you," Junmi says wistfully, resting her head in her hands.
"You could always sign up for the performance club!" Hayeon states, smiling at Junmi, helping herself to Taeeun's coffee. Surprisingly, Taeeun lets her take it. Junmi hasn't pegged her as someone who likes to share. Maybe it's because it's Hayeon?
Hayeon is just as enthusiastic as Yixin about the performance club, saying there's a group for almost any genre of dance. Some of the rarer ones have fewer members, but you can always be in more than one group, Junmi-yah, Hayeon assures her. In her peripheral vision, she can see Yixin nod eagerly to every word coming out of Hayeon's mouth.
"It's tempting, especially if I had gotten any of you two as my mentor," Junmi admits. Yixin and Hayeon nods rapidly. Taeeun is hiding under her bangs again. "But I can't dance I'm afraid."
Junmi sees Yixin and Hayeon open their mouths to protest so she quickly adds: "I've tried okay, believe me. At my old university, I even took dance classes but to no avail. The teacher deemed me hopeless and so I've kind of lost my interest?"
"Hayeon eonni taught Taeeun eonni how to dance, and she used to be really bad," Yixin says, dodging a halfhearted punch from Taeeun.
"I'm not interested in dance," Taeeun grumbles, picking at the hem of her overall. At her side, Hayeon beams.
"She's quite okay now though," Yixin amends quickly. Taeeun lets out a soft huff, back under her bangs. Hayeon slings an arm around her shoulders, leaning their heads together as she laughs.
Junmi thinks she sees Taeeun smile. Slightly.
They - mostly Junmi, Yixin and Hayeon - talk about everything and nothing for a couple of hours, watching random clubs and groups perform and introduce themselves to the growing masses of freshmen and their helpers. The sun falls lower on the sky, and before long, it's dinner time.
Taeeun bids goodbye first as she has soccer practice and Hayeon is quick to join her, claiming she needs to get back to her group. Yixin lets them both go with a suggestive smile that makes Junmi curious. She remains silent, however, waving them off, until she's alone with Yixin.
"Maybe we should go back to the dorms as well? It's dinner time soon," Junmi says, gathering the empty bottles and boxes in the bag Taeeun had brought them in. Yixin agrees, and they head back to the dorms together.
"Junmi, I've been thinking, since you're so interested in music and everything, maybe you'll want to come to my band's concert?" Yixin says when they're walking to the dorms. They're standing at a crossroad, Yixin lives in a different dorm than Junmi, so she's going to the right and Junmi to the left.
"Concert?" Junmi asks, curious.
"Yes!" Yixin beams, eyes tiny crescents as she radiates enthusiasm. "I play guitar in a band."
Junmi blinks. She's known Yixin for a couple of days and she has never mentioned this band before.
"Do you mean the marching band?"
"No, a band with guitar, keyboard, drums and a vocal," Yixin explains, eyes wide.
Junmi has never been to a concert before, other than when her church choir held concerts. It didn't seem like it was one of those concerts Yixin was talking about.
"It's not related to school," Yixin continues slowly, as if she wants to make sure that Junmi is still following. "Some of my long-time friends and I started a band when we were in middle school, and we're still playing. We're playing a gig at this club downtown this Saturday, and I wonder if you want to come?"
Junmi doesn't know if she's going to like it, if she's even into this band - Yixin's band - but a part of her is curious, wonders what kind of music sweet, friendly Yixin is playing.
"Sure," Junmi agrees, and even if she's still unsure whether or not it was a good idea, the smile that blossoms on Yixin's face is worth it.
It turns out that Yixin's band isn't the only band playing that night, but according to Minchae, they're the biggest, have the most fans.
Junmi sticks to Minchae's side as the wrestle through the crowd, consisting mainly of people their age; mostly girls, Junmi notes mentally as she dodges sweaty bodies, lets Minchae drag her towards the bar.
She feels out of place in this crowded, dimly lit club. The band on stage plays a genre Junmi never has heard about before, and if she is to describe it, she would say it's something akin to pig squealing. If Yixin's band plays the same type of music, Junmi doesn't think she can stay throughout their entire set.
"Here," Minchae says as she gently coaxes Junmi to sit down by the bar, having found a couple of available stools. Most of the seats are empty, in fact. It seems like this crowd prefers to be up in each other's faces, dancing and screaming.
Junmi watches as Minchae interacts with the bartender; a tall guy in a white shirt, navy apron and hair akin to cotton candy. He's beaming at them both, and Junmi politely returns his smile.
"Drink this," Minchae says, taking the first of two glasses from the bartender. Junmi eyes it with doubt. Being in a club, she can only assume that this is alcohol. However, Junmi has never really tasted alcohol before and she's not sure if her first time should be like this.
"What is it?" Junmi asks, accepting the drink nevertheless. The glass is cool in her hand, the liquid dark brown, resembling regular coke.
"It's just a coke," the bartender replies, smiling.
"Oh." Junmi sips it, looking gratefully over at Minchae
Minchae's drink is electric blue, complete with an umbrella and a straw in a tall glass filled with ice. The bartender, Wonshik, as Minchae introduces him as, slips a pink umbrella into Junmi's coke as well, winking at her as he does.
"What are you drinking, eonni?" Junmi asks when the band on the stage finally ends their set and the club becomes a little quieter. The buzzing of voices is still as loud as ever, but at least now Junmi won't have to deal with the vocalist's pigsquealing.
"It's called a blue Andy," Minchae tells her, brushing away some red curls from her face as she speaks. Junmi sees her hesitate before she continues. "Do you want to taste?"
It's Junmi's turn to hesitate for a brief second before she nods.
She's not sure what's supposed to happen when she brings Minchae's straw to her lips, waiting for a brief second before she sips.
Surprisingly, it tastes rather good. As the drink rests on her palate while Junmi considers if she should swallow or not, her senses catches the taste of apple and citrus, with a weak underlying flavor of something bitter. As she swallows, feels the drink run down her throat, Junmi still feels like herself.
Minchae watches her as Junmi hands her the glass.
"Not that bad," Junmi admits and watches relief spill over Minchae's face.
Minchae is the only one who know parts of Junmi's past, why Junmi moved to another university, away from her family. Minchae is the only one who knows about Junmi's sheltered childhood, how the church has been a home for her more than her parents’ house ever was.
The scream of the crowd claims their attention, and by the look of Minchae's face, it's what they came here for.
Surely enough, Junmi recognizes Yixin on the stage, a guitar strap slung over her shoulder. She looks very different from how Junmi is used to see her. Yixin's pixie cut is styled so it falls into her eyes, and it doesn't look as soft, curly as it usually does. Her eyes are lined with gold, green, blue hues. Her stage clothes consist of boots, black pants and a paisley shirt. The rest of her band is dressed similarly.
In addition to Yixin, the band is made up of another girl with dyed gray her on the drums, another girl with long, brown hair on a portable keyboard, and last a girl standing in the middle, a bass hanging on her shoulders, adjusting her mic.
Something warm enters Junmi's comfort zone, and by the smell of a familiar floral perfume, she knows it's Minchae.
"You know Yixin, she plays the guitar. And then the gray haired girl on the drums, that's Chanyi, then it's Hongmin on the keytar and Kyungseo playing bass as well as singing," Minchae tells her, her breath smelling like the drink she has been sipping on, fruity,
There's sounds of Yixin and Kyungseo softly plucking at their instruments, Chanyi slowly getting a beat going, Hongmin joining them.
"Good evening ladies," their vocal, Kyungseo, begins.
"And gentlemen," Hongmin interrupts, grinning. Junmi thinks she sees Kyungseo roll her eyes, smiling a small smile as she does. Wonshik the bartender cheers loudly.
"We're The New London Fire," Kyungseo continues in her low, velvety voice. The crowd cheers loudly. Junmi winces at the high-pitched screams from some of the girls.
"Yeah, they're quite popular with their fans." Minchae says, grinning. "Especially Kyungseo."
They launch into their first song, effectively ending the small chat between Minchae and Junmi.
The New London Fire have a different sound than the band playing prior, and Junmi finds herself relieved of the fact. Their music is melodious, genuine. The instruments coming through their right, in a symphony, symbiosis with Kyungseo's voice that's soft like warm butter in Junmi's ears.
A couple of songs in, she finds herself bobbin her head to the rhythm of the songs. They are good.
Minchae is standing on her stool, singing at the top of her lungs. It seems like she knows the songs by heart, obviously having been to more of their gigs that Junmi ever has.
Just before their fourth song, they take a short, brief break. Kyungseo sips to her water as she speaks. "The next song is by a band called The Smashing Pumpkins."
She's silenced by the loud screams of the crowd. Kyungseo laughs, then, a soft breathless sound that's captured by her microphone. Junmi's heart, lungs flutter at the sound, the sight of her wide smile.
She's beautiful.
"The song is titled Tonight Tonight," Kyungseo continues, pushing heavy black bangs away from her eyes. "It's almost blasphemy to play it with the reduced set that we have, but I think it'll be ok. I'll let you judge."
Chanyi, Kyungseo and Yixin begins, letting the sound of their instruments fill the club before Hongmin joins. It's a wonderful sound, almost eerie, but comfortable. And then Kyungseo starts to sing.
The air in the club is suddenly too thin, not enough. Junmi's head feels light, heavy, as it's going to float away, all while Kyungseo's voice seeps into her pores, lays a claim in her bones. Junmi has never heard this song before, has never heard about The Smashing Pumpkins but Kyungseo, The New London Fire are doing this son justice. At least to her.
Junmi is not alone in feeling this, apparently, as the rest of the audience sings along. Although not too loud, they don't sing loud enough to drown out Kyungseo's voice. It feels like a choir where Kyungseo is the lead vocal, and the audience is the backup choir. There to support her, to make her shine.
The set is over after four more songs - too quick for Junmi's taste - and The New London Fire leaves the stage to loud cheers from the audience.
Junmi isnt quite in her own body yet. It still feels like she's floating, omniscient. Minchae, however has other plans. "Come on!" she says cheerfully, grabbing Junmi's hand as she pulls her off the stool, through the crowd, towards the stage.
Minchae drags her towards the backstage area, her ears deaf when Junmi suggests weakly that they won't make it through. Junmi remembers reading stories about groupies, about people dedicating themselves to follow a band around on tour. While Minchae probably isn't like that, Junmi doesn't want to end up like a groupie - in jail for stalking.
Despite Junmi's skepticism, they pass easily through the security. The two broad men greet Minchae, as if she's a familiar face to them and let her pass with Junmi in a tow.
They venture down a small corridor, where they pass a couple of closed changing rooms before Minchae finds the door with the sign that says The New London Fire on. Junmi watches as Minchae knocks in a weird pattern before she enters, dragging Junmi after her.
"Groupies!" Yixin announces as she notices them, grinning widely. She has a towel over her head, makeup a bit runny, but otherwise she looks good. Minchae gives her a high five and a hug, telling them how good their set was, while Junmi remains in the background, feeling slightly out of place.
Yixin gets to her before too long, hugging her too. It feels weird to hug someone she only has known or a short week, but Junmi lets Yixin pull her into her arms, smiling at the soft feeling of the terry cloth of Yixin's towel.
Eagerly, Yixin presents Junmi to the rest of the band.
"Hi, I'm Kim Junmi, nice to meet you," Junmi says awkwardly, heart pounding in her chest as all eyes in the changing room are on her for a brief second. They all greet her back, various in their enthusiasm and volume levels.
A long twig with gray, shoulder length hair gets up from her chair and walks over to Junmi, reminding her of an ostrich with the way she walks. The smile on Chanyi's face is utterly terrifying, although the warm gleam in her eyes soothes Junmi's nervousness.
"Park Chanyi at your service!" She says in a booming voice, bowing and shaking Junmi's hand at the same time. Chanyi is out of her stage outfit already, wearing tight jeans and an oversized hoodie. Only the make-up reveals that she's not casually dressed.
Hongmin comes up to her as well, dimpling at her as she smiles, introduces herself as Lee Hongmin, the visual of their band, to which Chanyi protests loudly. Hongmin is absolutely stunning up close, and Junmi finds herself enraptured by her beauty, only listening with half an ear as Hongmin talks about their set. Hair, curly - not as curly as Minchae's - is sticking to her temples as most of it is pulled back into a ponytail.
"Hongmin is beautiful isn't she," someone croons into Junmi's ear all of a sudden, making her yelp in surprise, blood pounding in her ears. Junmi turns on her heels and find her standing face to face with Kyungseo.
It would be embarrassing to faint now, she thinks faintly as Kyungseo watches her.
Kyungseo, too, is more beautiful up close than she was on stage. The badly dimmed light of the club not doing her much justice. However here in the brightly lit dressing room, she's all laid out, bare, washed for Junmi's eyes.
"Do Kyungseo," Kyungseo says, not smiling like Hongmin and Chanyi, but her tone is not mean, unfriendly.
"Kim Junmi," Junmi says, mouth dry all of a sudden, tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth. Kyungseo nods once, walking over to a table with refreshments close by.
Like Chanyi, Kyungseo has changed out of her stage outfit, or so it seems. She's half dressed, at least Junmi feels so, as she's wearing high-waisted black shorts, sheer stockings with lace pattern, and a short crop-top, revealing slivers of pale skin.
Junmi swears she feels her tongue thicken in her mouth, her knees trembling.
Kyungseo leans against the refreshment table, eyes on Junmi as she helps herself to a bottle of lemonade. Junmi suddenly feels like she's underdressed, even in her knee-length white dress and blue cardigan.
The air is thick between them, charged, and Junmi wants to open her mouth to say something, anything but she finds that she's unable to do so. She just stands there, watching Kyungseo watching her.
Junmi and Kyungseo remain like this until the ostrich girl - Chanyi - yells that they're going to a bar Junmi never has heard of to get drinks, to celebrate.
Despite better judgement, Junmi finds herself joining; not even protesting as Yixin and Minchae grabs her arms and guides her out, eyes on Kyungseo's back.
part 2
Pairing: Junmyeon/Kyungsoo, Taekwoon/Hakyeon, Minseok/Luhan, Wonshik/Hongbin.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Most of the characters in this fic are girls, dry humor, cursing, brief angst.
Word count: 13,8k.
Disclaimer: The girls(boys) belongs to their respective companies, the band name The New London Fire belongs to Mikey Way, I simply borrowed it for the occasion. I just wrote this.
Summary: Junmi falls in love with a song, and the girl who sings it.
A/N: Written for girlexochange's 2015 fest. Title comes from The Cab’s song “Living Louder”. A big, big thanks to my tlist for helping me through this and keeping me sane.
Junmi runs her hands down her soft, generic cotton blend blouse. The flower print is soft under her hands as she meticulously checks it for any wrinkles. She ironed it yesterday, of course, but she sees no harm in being thorough. It's her first day at this new university after all.
She crosses the floor on socked feet, heading for her backpack lying in the corner. Everything is already packed, saved for her lunch box, waiting for her in the small fringe in the shared kitchen. She pauses, however, mid-way, as something hanging on her magnet board catches her eye.
The magnet board is a couple of years old, filled with Junmi's weekly schedule. Every day of the week has a box, in which she usually writes important stuff to remember, deadlines, things she's going to attend, etc. Most of the boxes are empty, save for Tuesday, this day, that has first day of uni written in a box. Some of the letters spilling out of the marked frame.
Next to the drawn schedule, there are pictures, held up by flower magnets, and it's the one in the middle that catches her attention.
It's from her high school graduation, almost two years ago. The picture is of her and her friends, most of them crying - Junmi the most - holding their diplomas as they all look in the camera, trying to smile despite the tears in their eyes. Junmi looks horrible, but she loves the picture, loves how real it feels.
Seunghee, Kyuri, Minyoung and Junmi. In their school uniforms, flowers in their hair, hands curled tightly around each other’s' waists. Kyuri tried to calm Junmi down. She managed, minutes later. Junmi's mother took a picture of that too, but Junmi likes this picture the best. It's how she remembers her friends, this is how their little group were, used to be.
A smile, warm, forms on Junmi's lips and for a second time stops as she remembers, longs, misses. Seunghee, Kyuri and Minyoung aren't with her, their tiny group of friends spread out over the country when they all started university, getting in to different schools.
They were going to attend the same one, they said, promised. Life doesn't always do what you want it to. Even so, they’re staying in touch through Kakao Talk, having their own chatroom named Kyuline, since Kyuri was the one who brought them all together. Junmi smiles at the memory.
The moment, Junmi's moment, is interrupted by a series of short knocks on her door.
"Yes?" Junmi's door is open, has been ever since she moved into the dorms a week ago. She's not used to lock her doors. She never did it back home.
"Good morning!" A girl with small, bright eyes, wild, red hair and a toothy grin sticks her head into Junmi's room. She steps fully into the room as Junmi returns her greeting and her smile.
She's the resident assistant in Junmi’s dorm: Kim Minchae, junior, majoring in something sports related, minoring in music composing. Junmi doesn't really remember. She feels bad for it for a second, but it is all whisked away when Minchae bounces over to where Junmi is standing, elegantly ignoring the small heaps of Junmi's rejected first day of school-clothes lying scattered on the floor.
"Nervous?" Minchae asks, something akin to sympathy in her voice as her hand comes up to squeeze Junmi's shoulder.
They've been talking about this. A lot. Junmi was the first freshman who moved into the dorm, into Minchae's hall, and thus Minchae, a year Junmi's senior, has been taking care of her a lot. She hasn't been seeing that much of her lately, but Junmi knows that it's because Minchae's hall has slowly filled up and now she has other residents to look after than just Junmi.
"A bit yeah," Junmi agrees, teeth worrying her bottom lip for a while before she looks up to meet Minchae's gaze. She continues quickly when she notices Minchae's frown. "But not as much as I thought I would, I guess?"
It seems to soothe Minchae some. She squeezes Junmi's shoulder again before she lets go.
"How about you, eonni?" Junmi asks when she notices Minchae is in her usual t-shirt and sweatpants combo.
"We're not having classes before next week," Minchae grins, scratching the back of her neck. "It's freshman week and everything, so unless we're helping with that, we're off for another week."
Junmi thinks Minchae has told her this before, but she probably forgot. If she did, Minchae isn't commenting on it.
"I'm meeting Taeeun, Lu Hua and some of the other girls from our team for some light practice this afternoon though. Soccer season starts soon, better check if our team is where it should be, physically." As she says this, a devilish grin spreads out on Minchae's face, and Junmi finds herself relieved that she's not on Minchae's soccer team.
"Anyway," Minchae says after a while, drawing out the vowels as she speaks. Junmi fights the urge to laugh at her. "I just wanted to wish you good luck! Not that you'll need it, Junmi. I'm sure this will go just fine."
Junmi wishes she was as optimistic as Minchae. Nevertheless, she pulls on a brave face when Minchae bids her goodbye, walks out of Junmi's room, closing the door behind her with a soft click, leaving Junmi alone with her churning thoughts.
The campus is crowded, to say the least. However, it calms Junmi down some to see that she isn't the one who wanders around aimlessly alone. Some of the freshmen has gathered in groups, some of them accompanied by their parents, but most of them are alone. There are sophomores, juniors, seniors - Student Helpers - everywhere, holding large banners and flags in different colors, stating which faculty they belong to, and also which field of study.
Junmi hasn't seen hers yet. She contemplates asking some of the Student Helpers, surely they must know where she's supposed to be, and yet, she hasn't. It's unlike her, she doesn't usually act like this. She's usually outgoing, social, friendly and all those other positive adjectives.
She's not in her usual environment, she doesn't know this place, she's not familiar with its people. Like Minchae would say, it's not her home stadium.
For the fourth time since she walked from her dorm, Junmi digs her phone out from the pocket in her jeans, punching in the code to unlock it, then clicking on the e-mail icon.
The e-mail, sent to her from her faculty, doesn't specify where she's supposed to meet the Student Helper from her faculty. It only states vaguely that it's in the vicinity of the library, and that she should be there no later than 9 am.
With her eyes trained on the screen, Junmi starts walking, wondering if she's on the wrong side of the library. The X marked on her map looks like it's placed on the north side, closer to the sports arena than the park.
Suddenly, Junmi crashes into something soft, warm and doesn't manage to react before she finds herself, butt planted firmly on the ground, foreign fingers wrapped around her wrist. The knuckles on her left hand are white from how tight they are holding onto her phone.
Dumbfounded, she looks up and is met with a pair of sparkling, brown eyes, and a voice as sparkling as the girl's eyes.
"I'm sorry! Are you ok?" Sparkling Girl asks, and before Junmi manages to respond, Sparkling Girl is pulling her up from the asphalt, smiling widely at her. Sparkling Girl is wearing the bright yellow Student Helper shirt, over a black, long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of black pants. Her dark hair falls elegantly over her shoulders, heavy bangs covering her forehead. Sparkling Girl is taller than her, about half a head taller.
When Junmi doesn't answer, Sparkling Girl continues to talk.
"You're a Freshman aren't you?" Her smile grows softer, eyes even kinder, almost maternal as she looks at Junmi, hand still wrapped around Junmi's wrist, as if she's afraid Junmi will run away.
Junmi nods once, Sparkling Girl laughs, loud and obnoxious, but it fits her, somehow, Junmi thinks.
"I'm Hayeon. Cha Hayeon. Junior and Student Helper," Sparkling Girl says, pointing to the name tag glued to her shirt. In her free hand, she's holding a purple banner. Sparkling Girl, Hayeon, belongs to a different faculty than Junmi. Her heart sinks a little. She wouldn't mind having Hayeon as her Student Helper.
"Kim Junmi, Freshman," Junmi says, bowing as deep as she can, what with Hayeon's grip on her wrist and all.
"I knew it," Hayeon beams, eyeing Junmi. "You Freshmen have this wild, frightened look over you. Makes it really easy to spot you for the first two weeks or so."
Junmi isn't sure what to say so she settles for smiling.
"Did you lose your Student Helper? Which faculty do you belong to?"
"No. Um, I haven't- I haven't been able to find them yet?" Junmi says, her hand coming down to pull at the hem of her shirt. Hayeon's eyes follow the movement before she looks back up.
"Well I don't blame you. The organization is a mess, and even with the color system, freshmen still have issues finding their faculties and designated Student Helpers," Hayeon grumbles, eyes narrowing slightly as she scans their surroundings.
"I'm sorry?" Junmi asks, biting her bottom lip.
Hayeon's face brightens again, squeezing Junmi's shoulder good-naturedly. "Don't worry! I'll help you find your faculty. Which faculty do you belong to?"
"The faculty of Education and International Studies," Junmi says automatically, having memorized the name ever since she received the welcome e-mail two months earlier. "It says in the e-mail that we're supposed to meet outside the library, but I think maybe I'm on the wrong side? I can't see anyone with my color, or the faculty's banner here."
Something twinkles in Hayeon's eyes as Junmi speaks. It reminds her on how Minchae's eyes sparkle when she talks about soccer. It makes Hayeon seem even more enthusiastic and dedicated than she had been seconds prior. Just like on Minchae, it made Junmi both fear and respect her.
"Your color is green?" Hayeon's voice is tilted as a question, but something tells Junmi that it's not.
Junmi nods.
"Don't worry Junmi," Hayeon chirps, patting Junmi's hand. "I know exactly who and where your Student Helper is."
With those words, Hayeon drags Junmi after her through the crowd of students, her steps sure as she walks them to the western side of the library.
The crowd is thinner here, Junmi notices, the spaces to walk in wider, the voices lower, fewer. There are fewer buildings on this side of the enormous library, only a small bookstore, a no-brand coffee shop and a vast amount of forest behind them. Junmi remembers reading about the forest in the University's booklet. It's only about a thousand square feet, but it's there for the people majoring in agriculture. Junmi also read that there's a trail there that the sports majors frequent often.
Junmi is a bit puzzled when Hayeon guides her to the coffee shop, the pace of her steps quickening as the crowd clears and then, Junmi sees her.
Wow, she's tall is the first thought that pops up into Junmi's head. Hayeon too is taller than Junmi, but this girl seems like she's taller than Hayeon by an inch or two. Unlike Hayeon, she's not wearing the yellow Student Helper shirt; it's wrapped around her waist instead.
Even if Junmi had managed to find her on her own, she would never have approached her. This girl radiates coldness, a stark contrast to Hayeon who's emitting sunshine. Her dark brown hair is pushed back into a high pony tail, bangs falling into her eyes as she sips on an iced Americano.
When Hayeon and Junmi approach her, she just looks at them, her kitten-like eyes small, slanted as her gaze flickers from Hayeon, briefly to Junmi, and then back to Hayeon. Surprisingly, Hayeon, too, remains quiet for a time, meeting Tall Girl's gaze with her own.
Junmi's skin is itching.
"Honestly, can't you do your job?" Hayeon says after a while, breaking the silence. She finally lets go of Junmi's wrist, then, leaning forward to chop Tall Girl's neck with the side of her hand, their skin tones stark contrasts.
If Junmi had been a photographer, this would be one of the moments she'd want to capture.
When Tall Girl remains quiet, sipping at her iced beverage, Hayeon rolls her eyes, mutters something under her breath as she turns to Junmi.
"Kim Junmi, this is Jung Taeeun, she's one of the Student Helpers for the Faculty of Education and International Studies." Hayeon's voice is softer as she speaks to Junmi. Tall Girl - Taeeun - looks over at Junmi and the weight of her gaze makes Junmi's skin crawl, the fine hairs on the back of her neck standing up.
Taeeun is scary, and Junmi would rather take a bath with a shark than bow to her, showing her exposed neck, but she does out of courtesy, even manages to smile as she repeats her name.
"How come you're not at your designated space? What about the students?" Hayeon says exasperatedly. Taeeun does not budge. Hayeon punches her again.
"Yixin's looking after the kids," Taeeun murmurs. Junmi jumps at Taeeun's voice, so much softer, kinder than Junmi had expected her to sound. Hayeon's gaze softens. "I was just getting coffee."
Hayeon sighs, but it's fond, Junmi notices, as Hayeon leans forwards to tug at the yellow shirt around Taeeun's waist.
In the end, Hayeon leaves Junmi with Taeeun after getting a phone call, saying she needed to get back to her group. She squeezed Junmi's shoulder once more, engaged in a silent conversation with Taeeun before she headed back the direction where she and Junmi had come from minutes earlier.
Yixin, Junmi learns when Taeeun wordlessly walks away and Junmi follows, is much friendlier than Taeeun. At this point, anyone would be friendlier than Taeeun, but Yixin is genuinely kind.
With her pixie cut and short, slender frame, she looks like, well, a pixie. Her smile is warm, kind, and she immediately makes Junmi feel at ease at once, within just minutes of knowing her. It’s not just Junmi that feels that way either, she notices, as the other freshmen are equally relaxed around Yixin, but walks on needles around Taeeun, who seems mostly oblivious.
“Taeeun eonni is just shy,” Yixin tells them later, voice hushed, as she huddles them close. Some of the other freshmen murmur as Yixin talks, doubtful. “She could never hurt a fly.”
As if on cue, Taeeun turns towards them, blinks. Yixin laughs. Then, out of the blue, Taeeun colors slightly, a warm pink blossoming on both her cheeks. She looks away quickly, and Yixin winks at them.
“What did I tell you?” She says, sticking out her chest.
Taeeun becomes slightly warmer towards them, and Junmi thinks that Yixin is right. Maybe.
"Have you given any thought to whether you're going to join a club or not?" Yixin asks one lazy afternoon in the midst of freshman week. Yixin, Junmi, Taeeun and a couple of others from their group are seated on blankets spread out on the lawn at the outskirts of the campus.
The trips and tours with the freshman groups aren't mandatory, but so far Junmi has been to every single one, meeting Yixin and Taeeun outside the library every day at 9 am. They haven't been doing stuff that Junmi couldn't have missed, but being new in this city as well as this university, she doesn't feel like she can afford to miss anything.
Taeeun had told her that most of the students at the university were people who had grown up in the area, and that was why the dorms weren't as big as they would be in other universities because most people still lived at home to get out of paying rent.
The freshmen and freshmen helpers are gathered around a small stage, as today is club day, where the sole purpose is to show the freshmen what kind of after school clubs and activities they have at the university.
"I think I'd want to join a club," Junmi says, curling her feet under her, tugging at her skirt. If this had been last year, if Junmi had been last year’s Junmi, she wouldn't have joined a club, but instead visited the local church and gotten involved in their work.
Junmi doesn't want that anymore.
Yixin leans forward; both her hands clutching a kimbap roll as she looks at Junmi with interest, bangs falling into her eyes. She tries to blow them away, but fails. "Which one do you want to join? Have you seen any clubs that seem interesting?"
While she talks, Junmi notices she has rice sticking to her upper lip. Junmi bites her cheek so she won't laugh. It'd be rude to laugh at Yixin now, when she's so dedicated, passionate about Junmi's choice of after school activity.
"I'm not quite sure yet," Junmi admits, Yixin blinks at her, rice still stuck to her lips. Back home Junmi had been working as a volunteer at her local church, as well as being in the church choir since she was a little girl. Music has always meant a lot to her so maybe she should continue that path. But then again, discovering something new would also be nice.
"Don't worry Junmi!" Yixin beams, pointing at Junmi with her kimbap roll. "We have tons of after school activities here. Surely there's something here that will catch your interest!"
That second, Taeeun flits into Junmi's vision as she tends to do. It doesn't stop Junmi's heart from hammering in her chest, doesn't stop her from jumping a bit further onto the blanket in shock.
"Sorry," Taeeun murmurs as she crosses her legs, sitting down next to Yixin. Taeeun brought three bags with her, all carrying the 7/11 logo. Junmi watches as she fishes out a can of iced coffee before she shoves the three bags to the center of their blanket, telling everyone to grab a drink.
The bottle of chilsung Junmi digs up from the bag is still cool, beads of moisture traveling down the green plastic as she works the lid open.
"I'm in the marching band and in the performance club," Yixin tells her enthusiastically, inching closer to Junmi, her slender hands grabbing onto Junmi's shirt. Taeeun's mask of stone is back. "If you're into music or dancing, you could join one of those! Or maybe both! They're lots of fun and everybody are really nice. The marching band always need new people, and in the performance club we operate in different teams so there's always room for new people!"
Yixin is speaking so fast she's almost vibrating with energy. Her eyes are sparkling as she continues to gush about the members in the two clubs, and how fun it would have been if Junmi could join. But of course, Junmi shouldn't feel pressured to join! Yixin is quick to tell her, arms flailing.
Junmi jumps in shock for the second time that day when something coarse rubs against her bare leg, eyes wide as she lifts her gaze to see Taeeun stretching out her long, slender legs. The jean material of her short overalls being the culprit. She leans back, propping herself up on her elbows as she looks from Junmi to Yixin.
"What are you interested in?" Taeeun asks, unprompted. While she still sounds and looks like she's bored out of her mind, Junmi is surprised she bothers enough to ask. She squirms under Taeeun's gaze, still finding her somewhat frightening.
"Music, I guess?" Junmi says after a while, playing with the label of the chilsung bottle, unable to look away from Taeeun's scrutinizing gaze. While both Yixin and Hayeon have reassured Junmi that Taeeun is the friendliest thing ever, Junmi cannot shake the feeling of serial killer off when Taeeun looks at her. She seems so put together and cold. Most of the time, Junmi wonders if there's anything that can whip that frown off her face.
"You guess?" Taeeun asks, frowning at Junmi.
"Music. I like music." Junmi says quickly, pulling absently at the hem of her skirt.
If Junmi is to guess, the next expression that falls over Taeeun's face is actually, surprise. She sits back up and inches closer to Yixin and Junmi, her eyes wide.
"What kind of music?" Taeeun asks. Junmi has never heard her speak as loud as she just did. "The university has a lot of music clubs; I'm in one of them myself."
Taeeun is not on Yixin's level of enthusiasm - how could anyone be - however, if this is Taeeun being genuinely interested, eyes sparkling, Junmi will take it.
"Piano, classical music, ballads," Junmi replies. Taeeun smiles, for the first time in forever. It's small, shy, but shows off her tiny bottom teeth for a brief second before she closes her mouth, the corners of her lips still curled up. Taeeun bites at her bottom lip, effectively killing the smile, but that shine in her eyes are still there.
Suddenly there's a high noise, a blast of music vibrating over the lawn, causing Junmi to hurl her bottle away, seconds away from scrambling into Yixin's lap.
The song is loud, obnoxiously so, bass deep, and it feels like it's vibrating into Junmi's bones. It sounds like some generic pop song, although she can't name it. It's probably one of those mass produced songs by one of those mass produced groups that no one in ten years will remember. Junmi fights the urge to cover her ears; it wouldn't be polite to do so.
Next to her, Yixin is bobbing her head in time with the rhythm, those small pieces of rice still stuck to her upper lip, and Junmi wonders briefly if she should tell her about their existence.
Just as she's about to speak, Yixin turns her face towards Junmi, speaking loudly. "This is one of the performance groups! They're called Starlights, and their focus area is pop, while the group I am in are more R&B."
Yixin stops talking as the group, made completely up of girls - Junmi counts six of them - enters the stage through a thin veil of smoke. Junmi squints to get a better view of the girls through the smoke. They're all beautiful, bare legs and arms, all in the same color; gold. It's hard to tell from where Junmi is sitting, but it looks like they're wearing headbands on top of their hair, with something akin to cat ears on top of them.
Despite the terrible song, Junmi finds herself getting lost in their movements, how it seems like their limbs are fluid, all of them in synch with the music. She has to keep herself from gaping when she notices they're all dancing in high, black heels. Junmi has always been confident enough in her singing, but she doesn't have any rhythm in her body at all, usually sitting down when there had been dancing parts in family parties or celebrations.
Just as the chorus blasts through the speakers, Junmi recognizes one of the people in the performance group: Hayeon. She's wearing gold like the rest of the group: a high waisted shorts and a crop top, revealing tiny slivers of her tan skin as she moves. Her dark brown hair is pushed back and up into a tiny ponytail, cat ears perked on top of her head as well. The gold really brings out her skin, Junmi notes, and it seems like she's glowing as she dances, moves catlike.
The first song blends out in another one, equally bass-y, still with the same similar thumping rhythm.
On stage, the girls swarm to the end of the stage, kicking off their high heels, replacing them with flat sneakers as they get back in position. The next song isn't as sultry as the first one, cheerier, and there's boys singing it this time. It doesn't make it any less generic, but Junmi enjoys seeing the girls perform, smiles on all of their faces like it had been on the previous song as well.
The second song is also their last, and Hayeon introduces them afterwards, breathlessly, as Starlight, just like Yixin had told Junmi earlier. Hayeon talks for a couple of minutes, talking about the group in general, and that they're to hold tryouts next week. She also informs them that the next group will go onto the stage in about fifteen minutes, and that it's the mixed formal dancers.
"You did great!" Yixin grins when Hayeon comes to join them, giving her a high five. Now that's she's up close, Junmi can see the golden eyeshadow and the fake eyelashes Hayeon wears. Her eyes are lined with gold and black as well, her cheeks pink, chest heaving a bit from the dancing.
She's beautiful.
"It was amazing to watch," Junmi admits, smiling at Hayeon who beams back as she claims a place on the blanket next to Taeeun, who looks like she has seen a ghost.
"Yixin ah, you got something-" Hayeon says, leaning forward to pick the stray rice away from Yixin's top lip. Yixin just blinks at her.
"Oh, rice!" Yixin exclaims, smiling as she takes the rice from Hayeon's hands, looking thoughtfully at them, poking the rice with her index finger.
A silence falls over them for a short while.
"I wish I could dance like you," Junmi says wistfully, resting her head in her hands.
"You could always sign up for the performance club!" Hayeon states, smiling at Junmi, helping herself to Taeeun's coffee. Surprisingly, Taeeun lets her take it. Junmi hasn't pegged her as someone who likes to share. Maybe it's because it's Hayeon?
Hayeon is just as enthusiastic as Yixin about the performance club, saying there's a group for almost any genre of dance. Some of the rarer ones have fewer members, but you can always be in more than one group, Junmi-yah, Hayeon assures her. In her peripheral vision, she can see Yixin nod eagerly to every word coming out of Hayeon's mouth.
"It's tempting, especially if I had gotten any of you two as my mentor," Junmi admits. Yixin and Hayeon nods rapidly. Taeeun is hiding under her bangs again. "But I can't dance I'm afraid."
Junmi sees Yixin and Hayeon open their mouths to protest so she quickly adds: "I've tried okay, believe me. At my old university, I even took dance classes but to no avail. The teacher deemed me hopeless and so I've kind of lost my interest?"
"Hayeon eonni taught Taeeun eonni how to dance, and she used to be really bad," Yixin says, dodging a halfhearted punch from Taeeun.
"I'm not interested in dance," Taeeun grumbles, picking at the hem of her overall. At her side, Hayeon beams.
"She's quite okay now though," Yixin amends quickly. Taeeun lets out a soft huff, back under her bangs. Hayeon slings an arm around her shoulders, leaning their heads together as she laughs.
Junmi thinks she sees Taeeun smile. Slightly.
They - mostly Junmi, Yixin and Hayeon - talk about everything and nothing for a couple of hours, watching random clubs and groups perform and introduce themselves to the growing masses of freshmen and their helpers. The sun falls lower on the sky, and before long, it's dinner time.
Taeeun bids goodbye first as she has soccer practice and Hayeon is quick to join her, claiming she needs to get back to her group. Yixin lets them both go with a suggestive smile that makes Junmi curious. She remains silent, however, waving them off, until she's alone with Yixin.
"Maybe we should go back to the dorms as well? It's dinner time soon," Junmi says, gathering the empty bottles and boxes in the bag Taeeun had brought them in. Yixin agrees, and they head back to the dorms together.
"Junmi, I've been thinking, since you're so interested in music and everything, maybe you'll want to come to my band's concert?" Yixin says when they're walking to the dorms. They're standing at a crossroad, Yixin lives in a different dorm than Junmi, so she's going to the right and Junmi to the left.
"Concert?" Junmi asks, curious.
"Yes!" Yixin beams, eyes tiny crescents as she radiates enthusiasm. "I play guitar in a band."
Junmi blinks. She's known Yixin for a couple of days and she has never mentioned this band before.
"Do you mean the marching band?"
"No, a band with guitar, keyboard, drums and a vocal," Yixin explains, eyes wide.
Junmi has never been to a concert before, other than when her church choir held concerts. It didn't seem like it was one of those concerts Yixin was talking about.
"It's not related to school," Yixin continues slowly, as if she wants to make sure that Junmi is still following. "Some of my long-time friends and I started a band when we were in middle school, and we're still playing. We're playing a gig at this club downtown this Saturday, and I wonder if you want to come?"
Junmi doesn't know if she's going to like it, if she's even into this band - Yixin's band - but a part of her is curious, wonders what kind of music sweet, friendly Yixin is playing.
"Sure," Junmi agrees, and even if she's still unsure whether or not it was a good idea, the smile that blossoms on Yixin's face is worth it.
It turns out that Yixin's band isn't the only band playing that night, but according to Minchae, they're the biggest, have the most fans.
Junmi sticks to Minchae's side as the wrestle through the crowd, consisting mainly of people their age; mostly girls, Junmi notes mentally as she dodges sweaty bodies, lets Minchae drag her towards the bar.
She feels out of place in this crowded, dimly lit club. The band on stage plays a genre Junmi never has heard about before, and if she is to describe it, she would say it's something akin to pig squealing. If Yixin's band plays the same type of music, Junmi doesn't think she can stay throughout their entire set.
"Here," Minchae says as she gently coaxes Junmi to sit down by the bar, having found a couple of available stools. Most of the seats are empty, in fact. It seems like this crowd prefers to be up in each other's faces, dancing and screaming.
Junmi watches as Minchae interacts with the bartender; a tall guy in a white shirt, navy apron and hair akin to cotton candy. He's beaming at them both, and Junmi politely returns his smile.
"Drink this," Minchae says, taking the first of two glasses from the bartender. Junmi eyes it with doubt. Being in a club, she can only assume that this is alcohol. However, Junmi has never really tasted alcohol before and she's not sure if her first time should be like this.
"What is it?" Junmi asks, accepting the drink nevertheless. The glass is cool in her hand, the liquid dark brown, resembling regular coke.
"It's just a coke," the bartender replies, smiling.
"Oh." Junmi sips it, looking gratefully over at Minchae
Minchae's drink is electric blue, complete with an umbrella and a straw in a tall glass filled with ice. The bartender, Wonshik, as Minchae introduces him as, slips a pink umbrella into Junmi's coke as well, winking at her as he does.
"What are you drinking, eonni?" Junmi asks when the band on the stage finally ends their set and the club becomes a little quieter. The buzzing of voices is still as loud as ever, but at least now Junmi won't have to deal with the vocalist's pigsquealing.
"It's called a blue Andy," Minchae tells her, brushing away some red curls from her face as she speaks. Junmi sees her hesitate before she continues. "Do you want to taste?"
It's Junmi's turn to hesitate for a brief second before she nods.
She's not sure what's supposed to happen when she brings Minchae's straw to her lips, waiting for a brief second before she sips.
Surprisingly, it tastes rather good. As the drink rests on her palate while Junmi considers if she should swallow or not, her senses catches the taste of apple and citrus, with a weak underlying flavor of something bitter. As she swallows, feels the drink run down her throat, Junmi still feels like herself.
Minchae watches her as Junmi hands her the glass.
"Not that bad," Junmi admits and watches relief spill over Minchae's face.
Minchae is the only one who know parts of Junmi's past, why Junmi moved to another university, away from her family. Minchae is the only one who knows about Junmi's sheltered childhood, how the church has been a home for her more than her parents’ house ever was.
The scream of the crowd claims their attention, and by the look of Minchae's face, it's what they came here for.
Surely enough, Junmi recognizes Yixin on the stage, a guitar strap slung over her shoulder. She looks very different from how Junmi is used to see her. Yixin's pixie cut is styled so it falls into her eyes, and it doesn't look as soft, curly as it usually does. Her eyes are lined with gold, green, blue hues. Her stage clothes consist of boots, black pants and a paisley shirt. The rest of her band is dressed similarly.
In addition to Yixin, the band is made up of another girl with dyed gray her on the drums, another girl with long, brown hair on a portable keyboard, and last a girl standing in the middle, a bass hanging on her shoulders, adjusting her mic.
Something warm enters Junmi's comfort zone, and by the smell of a familiar floral perfume, she knows it's Minchae.
"You know Yixin, she plays the guitar. And then the gray haired girl on the drums, that's Chanyi, then it's Hongmin on the keytar and Kyungseo playing bass as well as singing," Minchae tells her, her breath smelling like the drink she has been sipping on, fruity,
There's sounds of Yixin and Kyungseo softly plucking at their instruments, Chanyi slowly getting a beat going, Hongmin joining them.
"Good evening ladies," their vocal, Kyungseo, begins.
"And gentlemen," Hongmin interrupts, grinning. Junmi thinks she sees Kyungseo roll her eyes, smiling a small smile as she does. Wonshik the bartender cheers loudly.
"We're The New London Fire," Kyungseo continues in her low, velvety voice. The crowd cheers loudly. Junmi winces at the high-pitched screams from some of the girls.
"Yeah, they're quite popular with their fans." Minchae says, grinning. "Especially Kyungseo."
They launch into their first song, effectively ending the small chat between Minchae and Junmi.
The New London Fire have a different sound than the band playing prior, and Junmi finds herself relieved of the fact. Their music is melodious, genuine. The instruments coming through their right, in a symphony, symbiosis with Kyungseo's voice that's soft like warm butter in Junmi's ears.
A couple of songs in, she finds herself bobbin her head to the rhythm of the songs. They are good.
Minchae is standing on her stool, singing at the top of her lungs. It seems like she knows the songs by heart, obviously having been to more of their gigs that Junmi ever has.
Just before their fourth song, they take a short, brief break. Kyungseo sips to her water as she speaks. "The next song is by a band called The Smashing Pumpkins."
She's silenced by the loud screams of the crowd. Kyungseo laughs, then, a soft breathless sound that's captured by her microphone. Junmi's heart, lungs flutter at the sound, the sight of her wide smile.
She's beautiful.
"The song is titled Tonight Tonight," Kyungseo continues, pushing heavy black bangs away from her eyes. "It's almost blasphemy to play it with the reduced set that we have, but I think it'll be ok. I'll let you judge."
Chanyi, Kyungseo and Yixin begins, letting the sound of their instruments fill the club before Hongmin joins. It's a wonderful sound, almost eerie, but comfortable. And then Kyungseo starts to sing.
The air in the club is suddenly too thin, not enough. Junmi's head feels light, heavy, as it's going to float away, all while Kyungseo's voice seeps into her pores, lays a claim in her bones. Junmi has never heard this song before, has never heard about The Smashing Pumpkins but Kyungseo, The New London Fire are doing this son justice. At least to her.
Junmi is not alone in feeling this, apparently, as the rest of the audience sings along. Although not too loud, they don't sing loud enough to drown out Kyungseo's voice. It feels like a choir where Kyungseo is the lead vocal, and the audience is the backup choir. There to support her, to make her shine.
The set is over after four more songs - too quick for Junmi's taste - and The New London Fire leaves the stage to loud cheers from the audience.
Junmi isnt quite in her own body yet. It still feels like she's floating, omniscient. Minchae, however has other plans. "Come on!" she says cheerfully, grabbing Junmi's hand as she pulls her off the stool, through the crowd, towards the stage.
Minchae drags her towards the backstage area, her ears deaf when Junmi suggests weakly that they won't make it through. Junmi remembers reading stories about groupies, about people dedicating themselves to follow a band around on tour. While Minchae probably isn't like that, Junmi doesn't want to end up like a groupie - in jail for stalking.
Despite Junmi's skepticism, they pass easily through the security. The two broad men greet Minchae, as if she's a familiar face to them and let her pass with Junmi in a tow.
They venture down a small corridor, where they pass a couple of closed changing rooms before Minchae finds the door with the sign that says The New London Fire on. Junmi watches as Minchae knocks in a weird pattern before she enters, dragging Junmi after her.
"Groupies!" Yixin announces as she notices them, grinning widely. She has a towel over her head, makeup a bit runny, but otherwise she looks good. Minchae gives her a high five and a hug, telling them how good their set was, while Junmi remains in the background, feeling slightly out of place.
Yixin gets to her before too long, hugging her too. It feels weird to hug someone she only has known or a short week, but Junmi lets Yixin pull her into her arms, smiling at the soft feeling of the terry cloth of Yixin's towel.
Eagerly, Yixin presents Junmi to the rest of the band.
"Hi, I'm Kim Junmi, nice to meet you," Junmi says awkwardly, heart pounding in her chest as all eyes in the changing room are on her for a brief second. They all greet her back, various in their enthusiasm and volume levels.
A long twig with gray, shoulder length hair gets up from her chair and walks over to Junmi, reminding her of an ostrich with the way she walks. The smile on Chanyi's face is utterly terrifying, although the warm gleam in her eyes soothes Junmi's nervousness.
"Park Chanyi at your service!" She says in a booming voice, bowing and shaking Junmi's hand at the same time. Chanyi is out of her stage outfit already, wearing tight jeans and an oversized hoodie. Only the make-up reveals that she's not casually dressed.
Hongmin comes up to her as well, dimpling at her as she smiles, introduces herself as Lee Hongmin, the visual of their band, to which Chanyi protests loudly. Hongmin is absolutely stunning up close, and Junmi finds herself enraptured by her beauty, only listening with half an ear as Hongmin talks about their set. Hair, curly - not as curly as Minchae's - is sticking to her temples as most of it is pulled back into a ponytail.
"Hongmin is beautiful isn't she," someone croons into Junmi's ear all of a sudden, making her yelp in surprise, blood pounding in her ears. Junmi turns on her heels and find her standing face to face with Kyungseo.
It would be embarrassing to faint now, she thinks faintly as Kyungseo watches her.
Kyungseo, too, is more beautiful up close than she was on stage. The badly dimmed light of the club not doing her much justice. However here in the brightly lit dressing room, she's all laid out, bare, washed for Junmi's eyes.
"Do Kyungseo," Kyungseo says, not smiling like Hongmin and Chanyi, but her tone is not mean, unfriendly.
"Kim Junmi," Junmi says, mouth dry all of a sudden, tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth. Kyungseo nods once, walking over to a table with refreshments close by.
Like Chanyi, Kyungseo has changed out of her stage outfit, or so it seems. She's half dressed, at least Junmi feels so, as she's wearing high-waisted black shorts, sheer stockings with lace pattern, and a short crop-top, revealing slivers of pale skin.
Junmi swears she feels her tongue thicken in her mouth, her knees trembling.
Kyungseo leans against the refreshment table, eyes on Junmi as she helps herself to a bottle of lemonade. Junmi suddenly feels like she's underdressed, even in her knee-length white dress and blue cardigan.
The air is thick between them, charged, and Junmi wants to open her mouth to say something, anything but she finds that she's unable to do so. She just stands there, watching Kyungseo watching her.
Junmi and Kyungseo remain like this until the ostrich girl - Chanyi - yells that they're going to a bar Junmi never has heard of to get drinks, to celebrate.
Despite better judgement, Junmi finds herself joining; not even protesting as Yixin and Minchae grabs her arms and guides her out, eyes on Kyungseo's back.
part 2