woohoo. =D
I’m the only one who can help me.
I’m not really sure what direction I’m taking with religion, but I want to look at the whole picture. I’m not going to be spoon fed scripture. The canonical scripture may not be even close to the correct way of going about things. I know I believe in Jesus. I know he had his role at some point in history, whether that role be divine or human. I’m not terribly concerned with Christology at this point. I just really want to find out how religion works for me. I’m really interested in the Gnostic gospels-they say that the kingdom is INSIDE of you. You have to find it … it’s such a great concept. In my times of need, I’ve always prayed and had faith and things have worked out. I believe in God, but I believe that I have to allow Him to work through me. In order to do that, I must know myself inside and out. I can’t hate myself. I can’t hate others. I have to be open-minded or I will falter. I want to be open, frank, honest … I need not put myself down. If no one else is doing so then why should I take that upon myself? Take everything in stride … don’t assume. I’ve been so quick to worry about how I affect other people. At this point, it’s not MY fault if someone has a problem with me. It’s not my problem until someone tells me that he/she has a problem with me. I’ve been creating problems for myself. I’ve also been stressing out way too much and it’s been affecting my grades-I need to chill out. It’s NOT THAT BAD. If I don’t like being in a bad mood … then I need to not be in a bad mood. It’s that simple. No, really … it is. I was in a bad mood about 30 minutes ago, but I just made up my mind to be in a good mood and I am. God has a role with me in some way. In some way, He is working through me to make the world a better place. I have to clean up the cleaner first though. Before I go trying to make my place in the world, I need to make my place in myself. I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. Worrying is 95% of my trouble at this point. Yeah, so I have a bad family history. I can either let it affect me negatively or rise above it and give myself strength through it. All in all, I’ve taken the strength route. It has worked so far. I have a feeling that I’m going to have a long life-God isn’t finished with me yet. I want to explore all aspects of religion. I know there’s a higher power and I know it is God. For me, that works. For others I guess it may not. We were never made to go it alone, and that’s what I believe. But if others want to take on the world alone, I say go for it. It’s not my problem. I really think that God wants me to explore religion and find what’s right for me. I really don’t believe that He would make it so exclusive that those who have immense faith but are just of the wrong denomination or faith are going to Hell. I don’t believe that. That’s what the church wants us to believe so that we’ll keep going to church and giving them money. The church helps a lot of people, this much is true … but it just isn’t for some people. I don’t think I could possibly identify with a specific church at this point. I’m never going to agree with at least 75% of what they say in any given church. It just isn’t going to happen. To be honest, I’m above what they’re teaching in church … they’ve been saying the exact same things to me for years and that’s why I’ve never advanced. They DON’T WANT ME TO advance. They want to continue the dumbing down of society. Let’s just put it in simple terms so everyone understands. Forget that … I’ll take it upon myself to do the research I need to have religion mean something to me. It means nothing if everyone else is telling me what to do. I really can’t let that happen. I’m stronger and smarter than that-no one is going to spoon feed me anything, especially not religion. Religion is much too important to me. There’s something out there, I just have to apply it to me. There’s no way I can believe that there isn’t a higher power; I’ve seen too many wondrous things, felt too many amazing feelings for there not to be something. I’m not going to argue with anyone, believe what you want to believe. And I’ll believe what I want to believe. I know that Christianity has always been about discipline-that you’re not allowed to believe what you WANT to believe. But that just isn’t right … again, the council that set the canonical scriptures have dictated this to us and I’m just not going to take it as someone else believes it should be taken. It’s for ME, and I need to do what’s best for me … as in everything.
I’m not really sure what direction I’m taking with religion, but I want to look at the whole picture. I’m not going to be spoon fed scripture. The canonical scripture may not be even close to the correct way of going about things. I know I believe in Jesus. I know he had his role at some point in history, whether that role be divine or human. I’m not terribly concerned with Christology at this point. I just really want to find out how religion works for me. I’m really interested in the Gnostic gospels-they say that the kingdom is INSIDE of you. You have to find it … it’s such a great concept. In my times of need, I’ve always prayed and had faith and things have worked out. I believe in God, but I believe that I have to allow Him to work through me. In order to do that, I must know myself inside and out. I can’t hate myself. I can’t hate others. I have to be open-minded or I will falter. I want to be open, frank, honest … I need not put myself down. If no one else is doing so then why should I take that upon myself? Take everything in stride … don’t assume. I’ve been so quick to worry about how I affect other people. At this point, it’s not MY fault if someone has a problem with me. It’s not my problem until someone tells me that he/she has a problem with me. I’ve been creating problems for myself. I’ve also been stressing out way too much and it’s been affecting my grades-I need to chill out. It’s NOT THAT BAD. If I don’t like being in a bad mood … then I need to not be in a bad mood. It’s that simple. No, really … it is. I was in a bad mood about 30 minutes ago, but I just made up my mind to be in a good mood and I am. God has a role with me in some way. In some way, He is working through me to make the world a better place. I have to clean up the cleaner first though. Before I go trying to make my place in the world, I need to make my place in myself. I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. Worrying is 95% of my trouble at this point. Yeah, so I have a bad family history. I can either let it affect me negatively or rise above it and give myself strength through it. All in all, I’ve taken the strength route. It has worked so far. I have a feeling that I’m going to have a long life-God isn’t finished with me yet. I want to explore all aspects of religion. I know there’s a higher power and I know it is God. For me, that works. For others I guess it may not. We were never made to go it alone, and that’s what I believe. But if others want to take on the world alone, I say go for it. It’s not my problem. I really think that God wants me to explore religion and find what’s right for me. I really don’t believe that He would make it so exclusive that those who have immense faith but are just of the wrong denomination or faith are going to Hell. I don’t believe that. That’s what the church wants us to believe so that we’ll keep going to church and giving them money. The church helps a lot of people, this much is true … but it just isn’t for some people. I don’t think I could possibly identify with a specific church at this point. I’m never going to agree with at least 75% of what they say in any given church. It just isn’t going to happen. To be honest, I’m above what they’re teaching in church … they’ve been saying the exact same things to me for years and that’s why I’ve never advanced. They DON’T WANT ME TO advance. They want to continue the dumbing down of society. Let’s just put it in simple terms so everyone understands. Forget that … I’ll take it upon myself to do the research I need to have religion mean something to me. It means nothing if everyone else is telling me what to do. I really can’t let that happen. I’m stronger and smarter than that-no one is going to spoon feed me anything, especially not religion. Religion is much too important to me. There’s something out there, I just have to apply it to me. There’s no way I can believe that there isn’t a higher power; I’ve seen too many wondrous things, felt too many amazing feelings for there not to be something. I’m not going to argue with anyone, believe what you want to believe. And I’ll believe what I want to believe. I know that Christianity has always been about discipline-that you’re not allowed to believe what you WANT to believe. But that just isn’t right … again, the council that set the canonical scriptures have dictated this to us and I’m just not going to take it as someone else believes it should be taken. It’s for ME, and I need to do what’s best for me … as in everything.