art scares me, artists too, just coz everything we don't understand scares us and there is one particular thing about artists that i do not undersand. i realy don't understand just HOW artists support themselves. i feel kinda cheated that some people have been labeled "artists" and taken up the role, because i can't see how it could possibly be a ( Read more... )

(woke up at 8am again, just sat in bed pondering ( Read more... )

i don't know why

they remind me of life i'm too anxious to live

(Allan came over from across teh road today to talk to mum this morning, they idly chatted about whatever incl Mowing Lawns and how it sucks. (personal note to myself: 13 Aug 2005just kinda thinking ( Read more... )

find it hard to get immersed. books, movies, music. i seem to look in from the sidelines, not getting caught up in it. from what i've read this has something to do with hypnotism - the getting immersed in things is a form of hypnotism (everyday hypnotism is an normal part of all of our lives), why we think better in the shower... that's ( Read more... )

with my questioning and sometimes confrontational nature i doubt i'd fit that well into "the new system" anyway. i'm not a sheep ( Read more... )

yesterday on the way to the psychiatrist i was talking to mum about how i get impatient with people because i'm actually impatient with myself because i'm scared that my intelectual capacity has dropped/dropping. and she got onto talking about how when we are stressed things start shutting down, when people are stressed they don't concentrate like ( Read more... )

dream
living in a backroom of some church, with a cool phone. but not knowning why, or how long i'd been there, or anything about my past. did i have a knock to the head?

arti hesitate to put something down, because i feel that an artwork can only ever be done once (for some weird reason). and since it can only be done once i don't want to ( Read more... )

feel like being solitary, getting in my car and going to the rainforrest to walk around. or maybe one of the volcanic plugs ( Read more... )

something that i have never told someone ( Read more... )