why would she put my name in some mean joke like that?
I just need to write rite now, i have no one to talk to rite now. i want to talk to trevor, but he doesnt and i respect that since i ran out of sn's to follow him on. jlia said something to him and put my name in it and he thought that i had said it to her. i never even talked to her about anything on that subject. something about that i said he has a small dick and she told him to get a valtrex. thats mean to me even. he got so upset. when i signed on i didnt know what was going on, but he was mad and was making me scared the way he talked. he didnt even want to talk. he said he was feeling like shit because of me and her and that he hated himself. i was so lost, i thought it was because i wasnt talking because i was busy. i want to be there for him, i need to be. i get so upset when the people i love are hurting and i'm helpless to them. i just want to hold him and tell him it'll be ok and i'll always be there for him. i feel like such a bad girlfriend because i am never there for him when he feels down. i try my best to be but somehow i feel like i'm not. how can he expect me not to worry about him? i'd never forgive myself if anything happened, even if it had nothing to do with me, i'd be heartbroken. i sent him an e--mail like a picture he sent me a long time ago, before we were going out, it still makes me happy to this day. i guess it was stupid but i dont know what else to do, i cant really get thru to him i dont think. i just feel like crying myself to sleep rite now. i'm not ashamed to admit it.i havent cried in a long time tho, except the other nite, but that was because of something else. and to make things worsei cant stop thinking about my secret rite now, and how bad i want to tell somebody, tell him. i wont feel better till someone knows. i'm just scared of what mite happen because of it. i should have told along time ago, then i wouldnt have to keep it with me. keep thinking about it.it haunts me especially more now. i'm loseing a battle to the complications of love and life.