(no subject)
I got very depressed last week and hardly went out at all. if it wasn't for the dogs and R i could have just sat an sulked all week and this week too probably. Since hurting my foot, i haven't run in about 2 maybe 3 months. Ive tried to ride, but haven't much felt like it for some reason and only managed a handful of half assed rides in all those weeks. I started swimming again, but for weeks it was all I could do to make myself go once a week. The last couple of weeks i bumped it up to two and sometimes three times and finally broke through that struggle I was having with finding any rhythm with my swim and have managed a few 400m continuous swims and increased my total swim up to 1600m. Still pretty poor from what I use to do. add to this that when I don't work out i still eat crap and eat tend to eat even more crap as comfort food.
So what has all this done? because R's parents were staying in our room I didn't have access to the scales and because Ive not being doing much I didn't want to weigh myself, so didn't even try. So the other day when i stepped on I wasnt that shocked when it read a whopping 76kg, the heaviest Ive ever been. I can feel the fat around my waste. I beat myself up by constantly grabbing it and then feeling terrible and then eating crap because oh well the damage is already done.
It's been a real struggle to pull myself up from this hole, but I did manage a run on Saturday. unfortunately my foot started hurting a bit from it, but its not enough that Im stopping running again. I swam on Saturday too and today Im going to run and swim again. A slow climb back out of the hole. Ive already dropped back to the mid 74's, but I have to remember that scale is really out of whack, but it's certainly never in my favor.
So what has all this done? because R's parents were staying in our room I didn't have access to the scales and because Ive not being doing much I didn't want to weigh myself, so didn't even try. So the other day when i stepped on I wasnt that shocked when it read a whopping 76kg, the heaviest Ive ever been. I can feel the fat around my waste. I beat myself up by constantly grabbing it and then feeling terrible and then eating crap because oh well the damage is already done.
It's been a real struggle to pull myself up from this hole, but I did manage a run on Saturday. unfortunately my foot started hurting a bit from it, but its not enough that Im stopping running again. I swam on Saturday too and today Im going to run and swim again. A slow climb back out of the hole. Ive already dropped back to the mid 74's, but I have to remember that scale is really out of whack, but it's certainly never in my favor.