code-switch (/birthday post!)
There's a Hebrew phrase used for round birthdays which I tried in vain to imitate here; it's a nice, bland little phrase that's just this coded way of saying "the first digit of your age has changed", and literally means - kind of - area code switch.
Anyway. I've been thinking of myself as 30 for about a year probably, since that's the average age of my peers, but now it's true. I remember - okay, so when I was 16 or 17 probably I befriended
sean_anam through a Yahoo BtVS list, and I remember feeling so - awed and proud that someone ten years older - an adult, a woman! - was giving me the time of day. And now I'm thirty, and though I'm not someone who holds much stake in age, in birthdays, it does feel momentous, and a little weird. I'm not a very self-reflective person (I say to my detriment), but this is one of those times where it's... hard to resist comparing myself to where my mother was at the same age, to my peers from work and high school, to where society says I should be at this point, this kind of marker that tells you to stop and take a moment to reflect. There's a lot about my life that I'm not satisfied with, but that's certainly not unique to my birthday. So - I'm not going to pretend having pre-30 jitters is inexplicable, but I'm also not going to... keep thinking about it, basically. Or rather, I'm just gonna go with: have fun on a day that's for all intents and purposes about you.
I tried looking back at my LJ to see if I had any similar thoughts when I turned 20, but it looks like I made exactly 2 LJ posts that year: one about my grandmother and an entire post about loquats LOLOL.
January is also my LJ-versairy, so it feels like even more of a milestone. Looking back at my first entry, it's bizarre how some things stay exactly the same:
I dunno, I just get this feeling that if I ever hear any Israelis complaining about the situation ever again I'll punch them in the face, because they HAD the opportunity to change, and they chose to change for the worse.
I have a whole rant on why Israelis are such stupid voters, but I'll save it for when it's not 3AM.
...and some things change so much:
Hi! I'm [roga], I live in Israel, I occasionally write BtVS and West Wing fanfiction and read it more than occasionally, I finished high school last year, I'll be drafted into the army in two months and three weeks, and this is my first entry.
*
My birthday plans are, in any case, enjoyable. They include:
-watching The Good Wife with my sister
-work, bringing cheesecake that I made myself (apparently I have a mixer! things you don't remember in your kitchen when you never actually bake)
-karaoke with my mom and sister
-again with mom and sis, going to see my favorite theater actor talk about his Shakespearean roles (followed by a Q&A. Will I ask him if he's ever watched Slings & Arrows? I am really hoping that I am.)
*
Pre-hitting-post-ETA:
Ha see, I started this post all morose-y and then my sister came over, and
marina gave me her birthday gift which is Slash, the fanfiction party game and it is the best thing ever. Two rounds later, finally settling in to watch TGW and hoping I won't fall asleep. So actually, a really freaking good start to decade #4.
comments on Dreamwidth.
Anyway. I've been thinking of myself as 30 for about a year probably, since that's the average age of my peers, but now it's true. I remember - okay, so when I was 16 or 17 probably I befriended
sean_anam through a Yahoo BtVS list, and I remember feeling so - awed and proud that someone ten years older - an adult, a woman! - was giving me the time of day. And now I'm thirty, and though I'm not someone who holds much stake in age, in birthdays, it does feel momentous, and a little weird. I'm not a very self-reflective person (I say to my detriment), but this is one of those times where it's... hard to resist comparing myself to where my mother was at the same age, to my peers from work and high school, to where society says I should be at this point, this kind of marker that tells you to stop and take a moment to reflect. There's a lot about my life that I'm not satisfied with, but that's certainly not unique to my birthday. So - I'm not going to pretend having pre-30 jitters is inexplicable, but I'm also not going to... keep thinking about it, basically. Or rather, I'm just gonna go with: have fun on a day that's for all intents and purposes about you.
I tried looking back at my LJ to see if I had any similar thoughts when I turned 20, but it looks like I made exactly 2 LJ posts that year: one about my grandmother and an entire post about loquats LOLOL.
January is also my LJ-versairy, so it feels like even more of a milestone. Looking back at my first entry, it's bizarre how some things stay exactly the same:
I dunno, I just get this feeling that if I ever hear any Israelis complaining about the situation ever again I'll punch them in the face, because they HAD the opportunity to change, and they chose to change for the worse.
I have a whole rant on why Israelis are such stupid voters, but I'll save it for when it's not 3AM.
...and some things change so much:
Hi! I'm [roga], I live in Israel, I occasionally write BtVS and West Wing fanfiction and read it more than occasionally, I finished high school last year, I'll be drafted into the army in two months and three weeks, and this is my first entry.
*
My birthday plans are, in any case, enjoyable. They include:
-watching The Good Wife with my sister
-work, bringing cheesecake that I made myself (apparently I have a mixer! things you don't remember in your kitchen when you never actually bake)
-karaoke with my mom and sister
-again with mom and sis, going to see my favorite theater actor talk about his Shakespearean roles (followed by a Q&A. Will I ask him if he's ever watched Slings & Arrows? I am really hoping that I am.)
*
Pre-hitting-post-ETA:
Ha see, I started this post all morose-y and then my sister came over, and
marina gave me her birthday gift which is Slash, the fanfiction party game and it is the best thing ever. Two rounds later, finally settling in to watch TGW and hoping I won't fall asleep. So actually, a really freaking good start to decade #4.
comments on Dreamwidth.