Working hard or hardly working?
Okay, I'm supposed to be working right now, but instead I'm on a computer and checking my various websites. I get the feeling that I should be working, but then again, what do I have to do? I want to keep updating LJ regularly and keep up with my friends. I've been missing them so much more lately. I guess it's the realization that I'm never going to be living at home again. I'm probably never going to see some of these people ever again. It makes me very sad when I think of that. To think of the bonds we shared and the time we spent getting to know each other. I should be more happy to be getting on with my life. In two years I'll have a degree in music performance and going to graduate school hopefully. After that I plan on moving to NYC to pursue my career in music. I've got these plans but I've got them on my own. I don't know anyone who would be living in NYC that could give me a helping hand and I'm very aware of the fact that I'm not going to have a job performing for quite some time. I just want to get a move on I suppose. It's exciting to think that your life will be taking off soon. I've waited for this my entire life, so why be afraid? Why do I feel like I'm forgetting someone or something?
I've been having weird dreams lately, which is why I suppose I decided to write this entry. The most recent dream happened this morning. I was reunited with an old friend, one that I happen to have had a crush on for some time, and things got very physical. When I woke up, I realized how much I missed this person and I knew that he doesn't really know how I feel, or felt. It kind of makes me regret things. Maybe I should have told him? But if I did would anything have come of it? I find it weird to think that I could have actually had a relationship with him. I say this because I feel like it could have worked. Now we're both attending different colleges and the likelihood that I'll see him again is slim. Why is he plaguing my dreams and making me feel all confused and weird inside?
Music is my life. I think I know that this is what I'm meant to do with my life. Sometimes it's hard convincing myself of this and I end up having to push myself pretty hard to get motivated. We'll see how this pays off in two years.
-Roddy
I've been having weird dreams lately, which is why I suppose I decided to write this entry. The most recent dream happened this morning. I was reunited with an old friend, one that I happen to have had a crush on for some time, and things got very physical. When I woke up, I realized how much I missed this person and I knew that he doesn't really know how I feel, or felt. It kind of makes me regret things. Maybe I should have told him? But if I did would anything have come of it? I find it weird to think that I could have actually had a relationship with him. I say this because I feel like it could have worked. Now we're both attending different colleges and the likelihood that I'll see him again is slim. Why is he plaguing my dreams and making me feel all confused and weird inside?
Music is my life. I think I know that this is what I'm meant to do with my life. Sometimes it's hard convincing myself of this and I end up having to push myself pretty hard to get motivated. We'll see how this pays off in two years.
-Roddy