Mar 20, 2008 14:05
I tend to tell people how I have rather boring and unimportant dreams where nothing really happens aside from me sitting in some random place, talking to one, or a few of my friends about random shit; movies, music, art, etc... Every 1-2 years or so though, I have a really vivid dream which just stays with me at all times, which ends up meaning a lot to me, and last night I had one of those, and if I don't get this out, it's just gonna stay on my mind until I do...
In the dream, I wake up in my bedroom here in Harrisonburg. I turn over, and look up toward my window, and see a pack of lizards siting in an un-assuming manner around my window. At first I'm frightened, because why would there be a pack of lizards just sitting in my room. I stare at them for a bit, un-sure of what to do, but all they do, is just stare back, and then look out the window, and eventually I look out the window to see what they're gazing at.
Outside, there's a bunch of bushes and tree branches which aren't there in real life, and on these branches, is a swarm of praying mantis', just devouring everything in sight. At this point I don't know what to do, aside from stay inside my room, and away from that swarm. I get up and go to my computer, and notice more lizards, just walking around the room, paying no attention to me.
Over time, I notice the swarm outside slowly going away, and as this is happening, the lizards slowly leave my room, until both are all gone. It's when this happens, that I realize that the lizards were in my room protecting me. If any of the mantis' were to get into my room, the lizards would've have attacked it and kept it away from me. Luckily that never happened, but it was appeasing to the nerves to know I was safe from what was going on...
The dream then goes into a bunch of different situations, where for whatever reason, I'm either scared, failing at something, or I've screwed up really badly. But in each of these situations, my failures end up getting rendered petty and unimportant...
In one, I'm in a bar, just completely down on my luck for whatever reason. Then an old man walks in and sits next to me, and we start talking. We talk about art, and I reveal to him that I'm an artist, and for some reason, I have a portfolio of my work with me, that I show to him... He likes it, and then he reveals to me that his is a very reknowned art dealer, and tells me that he wants to take my work on... Everything ends up turning from bad to good...
In one, I'm on a basketball court with two hoops at both ends, playing with a bunch of kids, ranging in all ages. I go up to dunk the basketball, and end up breaking the hoop when I do... After this, I feel awful, cause I just ruined one of the only two hoops that this neighborhood has, and I'm scared as shit to face all the kids. They all come up to me with shocked looks on their faces, but it's because they were more worried about my well-being than the hoop. I apologize profusely for breaking the hoop, but they all to a man just say, "It's allright, we still have one hoop to play on, and eventually they'll fix this one, don't worry about it." and then we go on playing on the other hoop. Again a situation turning from bad to good.
In one, I cause a car accident with another guy, where both of our cars get ruined. Again, I feel god-awful, and am just thinking about how much trouble I'm in. He gets out of his car and walks up to me. He just asks me if I'm allright, and yet again, I begin apologizing profusely. He just smiles, says that "accidents happen" and just says that we'll work it all out, and that he won't make a huge deal out of it. Yet again, my mind is put at ease, though I screwed up, it ends up not being as bad as it could be. he could sue me, call the cops, do everything to take his frustration out on me, and yet he doesn't...
In the last situation, I'm standing in a parking lot, with a girl who I'm madly in love with, and I'm trying to tell her how I feel about her, but I am scared shit-less and beginning to think I can't do it... I look around, and then I see a car sitting a short distance away from me, turned on, with it's lights on. Inside of the car, there's a giant praying mantis at the steering wheel, just looking at me, and it's then that I realize, that the mantis is trapped inside the car, and doesn't know how to drive it, and has no way of affecting me. After that, my fear goes away, and I tell her how I feel, and then we kiss...
It's at this point that I wake up.
Lately I've been stressed out like nothing else, worrying about school, what to do after school, possibly moving to Chicago, and how everything is about to change completely. This dream kinda put everything in perspective for me though. I realize now that all these things are just really minor annoyances that are gonna have no affect on me overall. I'm gonna graduate, and then I'm gonna move somewhere, and get started on my life, and it's gonna work, cause I'm gonna make it work. I really have nothing to worry about, and shouldn't be worrying about things as much as I have been. I realize now how simple all of this is, and that though I'm gonna fail at things, I'm gonna succeed at the same time.
I woke up this morning, and for the first time in a long long time, my head was clear of all worry and fear and doubt. Things just seem easy now, and I realize that they have been this easy all along.