COMMENTARY: Dear Abby - Wife Should Have Some Say In Who Sleeps With Whom
I think Dear Abby's advice was initially correct. I don't think she meant that men are superior and the wife has no say. As Dear Abby pointed out, if one parent is uncomfortable, that is enough reason. Why should the person who is paying for the rent or mortgage feel uncomfortable in their own home?
If the daughter and boyfriend are enjoying the hospitality of the parents' roof, they should honor and respect the house rules or safeguard the sanctity of the home that does not put the host in an uncomfortable position.
Even if you remove the parent element and a person with their significant other are staying under a friend's roof, it's rude if the sexcapades or any behavior make the host uncomfortable in their own home.
For example, just because someone enjoys walking around naked in their own home doesn't mean that they should go walking around naked as a house guest in someone else's home making the host uncomfortable.
If a person wants to be able to do what they want, then they should go get their own place rather than stay with someone else who imposes restrictions.
I've said that the Mind is like a House.
The same applies to talking about the Psychic Field. I may believe in the Psychic Field, but I have to make sure that when I discuss the topic with other people and "invited over to their house" (their mind), I have to be respectful.
If I find that the person is uncomfortable about the Psychic Field while I am a guest in their home, I have to stop because I'm pushing myself on them in my own home.
This Blog is the same way. It's my own "home" that I "lease" from my Blogging Service. As long as I abide by the terms and conditions of the "lease" with my Blogging Service, I can do whatever I want in my house.
When other people choose to come to my house, my house rules apply.
When I go over to other people's Blogs, their house rules apply.
Because my Psychic Research and content is controversial, this is why I choose to "stay at home" and keep to myself.
It's also why I disabled the Comments Section so that other people cannot just walk into my "home" (Blog) and start posting nasty or mean comments or criticism. That would be like storming into someone's house and trashing their house.
I make that comment because I once had someone publicly flaming me for not keeping my Blog Comment Section open to outside criticism.
Why should I be made uncomfortable in my own house (Blog) that I paid for?
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Wife Should Have Some Say In Who Sleeps With Whom
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About The Author:
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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By Abigail Van Buren - Tue Jun 21, 2:16 am ET
DEAR ABBY: I couldn't believe your response to "Stumped and Trumped in Ohio" (May 12). You made a point of saying to the father that his daughter and her boyfriend are in his house and they should abide by his rules and sleep in separate bedrooms. It's his wife's house, too, and she thought it was fine for them to share a room. Since when should the man's opinion automatically trump the woman's?
Furthermore, what about hypocrisy? He admitted that he and his wife were indulging in "premarital mambo," as he so quaintly puts it. In this day and age, you can assume his daughter and the boyfriend are as well, especially since they wanted to stay in the same room. So it was OK for him, but it's offensive when they do it?
Nonetheless, it is the parents' house. If they had mutually agreed that the youngsters should sleep in separate rooms, so be it. This is something the husband and wife should have worked out together before "Julie" brought her boyfriend home for a visit. But in saying it's the man's house and everyone should abide by the man's rules, you insulted women everywhere. -- BURNED UP IN SPRINGFIELD, N.J.
DEAR BURNED UP: You're right. I was clumsy. While I agree with you that the writer and his wife should have reached a mutual agreement before the daughter and her boyfriend arrived, they didn't. Call me a stick-in-the-mud, but I don't think an unmarried houseguest has a "right" to share a bedroom if either parent is uncomfortable with it. And while the father may know his daughter is having sex, theoretically, I'm sure he isn't the only parent who would prefer it was "out of sight, out of mind." Readers were divided about this:
DEAR ABBY: When my husband and I were dating, and even after he moved in with me before we married, whenever we visited his parents' home, I always slept in the guest room. Why? Out of respect for his parents' wishes. It was never something that was asked of me. I did it out of respect for someone else's home.
This man's wife caved under false pressure. The daughter will visit just as often. Sleeping arrangements rarely stop someone from visiting. If the new boyfriend stops accompanying her, then everyone should realize he's not worth his salt. Respectful adults don't just "happen"; they are raised that way. -- REBECCA IN ST. PAUL
DEAR ABBY: Today's letter had my blood boiling. I wholeheartedly agree that rules of a household should be respected. However, the father's objection to his daughter and her boyfriend sleeping in the same room isn't about respecting his "wishes." He's upset because he's trying to control his daughter, and he isn't willing to accept that she's grown up and deserves the same freedom he and his wife had. I'm surprised you encouraged him, given that he made it clear he had no problem with premarital sex. He's a blatant hypocrite. -- CAITLIN IN L.A.
DEAR ABBY: I think guests, including children and grandchildren, who live together in today's world should be allowed to share a room. Times have changed. Prudishness is out of date. -- REALISTIC CONTEMPORARY GRANDMA
DEAR ABBY: Before my husband and I married, we visited my straitlaced aunt. Neither of us expected to sleep together there. If you don't want someone's morals imposed on you, what gives you the right to impose your looser morals on them? -- DIANE IN SOUTH CAROLINA
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucda/20110621/lf_ucda/wifeshouldhavesomesayinwhosleepswithwhom