If only we never had genitalia
Ashley turns 20 today.
I hung out with her after I hung out with Jeordie.
I feel like this fucking yo-yo, bouncing from one girl to the other.
I love Jeordie. Everything I've done for her will be for naught if I do something. Something stupid. I will most likely kill her if we split. She cries when she worries that I may leave her. And it's understandable. I've spent all my limbs on her and nobody else has done so much for her. She tells me that I can't make anymore mistakes. Even if I told her that I had fantasies of killing her again, she tells me considering all that I've done for her even when she wanted me completely out of her life, she wont second-guess that I would actually harm her. She feels completely safe. Right now, I can't see myself with anybody else considering all that we've been through. Today we took pictures in the picture booth today, it was awesome.
Today, I hung out with Ashley and watched "Teeth." We spent most of our time talking about sex mostly. And amongst our conversation, I noticed all her little personality traits, the way she handles herself when she talks, the little jokes she cracks, and talking about the things we've done. I swear to god, it's like looking at the female and white version of me. And it freaking drives me nuts.
She burned me two CDs that kick some serious ass.
I told her that I love her tonight. It's a different love than what I have for Jeordie. Really, it has to be.
And I fiddled with her fingers today while she slept. She woke up and smacked my hand.
I think I'm doing something stupid already. I feel stupid. This is a stupid situation.
And it just makes me laugh.
Funny how this has been the only real problem I circle around this past couple of weeks.
I haven't been home at my dad's since Wednesday. I've been around from friends to friends' places.
I think I'm going to be homeless real soon. Yes, I'm being completely serious. And this should be my main focus. But it ain't because I don't care about that as much as I care about Jeordie and Ashley.
I'm here at Chris' place tonight. We're listening to OpIvy and we feel like teens again. But now we're worrying about girls and math. Things just don't add up. Will they ever?
nothing can be changed except ourselves
I hung out with her after I hung out with Jeordie.
I feel like this fucking yo-yo, bouncing from one girl to the other.
I love Jeordie. Everything I've done for her will be for naught if I do something. Something stupid. I will most likely kill her if we split. She cries when she worries that I may leave her. And it's understandable. I've spent all my limbs on her and nobody else has done so much for her. She tells me that I can't make anymore mistakes. Even if I told her that I had fantasies of killing her again, she tells me considering all that I've done for her even when she wanted me completely out of her life, she wont second-guess that I would actually harm her. She feels completely safe. Right now, I can't see myself with anybody else considering all that we've been through. Today we took pictures in the picture booth today, it was awesome.
Today, I hung out with Ashley and watched "Teeth." We spent most of our time talking about sex mostly. And amongst our conversation, I noticed all her little personality traits, the way she handles herself when she talks, the little jokes she cracks, and talking about the things we've done. I swear to god, it's like looking at the female and white version of me. And it freaking drives me nuts.
She burned me two CDs that kick some serious ass.
I told her that I love her tonight. It's a different love than what I have for Jeordie. Really, it has to be.
And I fiddled with her fingers today while she slept. She woke up and smacked my hand.
I think I'm doing something stupid already. I feel stupid. This is a stupid situation.
And it just makes me laugh.
Funny how this has been the only real problem I circle around this past couple of weeks.
I haven't been home at my dad's since Wednesday. I've been around from friends to friends' places.
I think I'm going to be homeless real soon. Yes, I'm being completely serious. And this should be my main focus. But it ain't because I don't care about that as much as I care about Jeordie and Ashley.
I'm here at Chris' place tonight. We're listening to OpIvy and we feel like teens again. But now we're worrying about girls and math. Things just don't add up. Will they ever?
nothing can be changed except ourselves