youre a cock youre a cock youre a cock.

[rod_swollen]

you will be most happy to know that i have had an excellent day of productivity. to go over the highlights would be a bit too overwhelming, so lets just narrow it down to bullets

Comments

Jeffy, Big Tobacco Whore

[privatepraxis]

Dude! The perfect job for you:
Check it out, it's the first job of the rest of your life!

Consider the body of evidence:
No cubicle...CHECK
Lots of variety...CHECK
Decent pay...CHECK
A product you believe in...you bet your sweet ass that's a CHECK!
Travel opportunities (okay fine, to Gadsden, but still)...CHECK
Dude, car allowance, helloooo?...CHECK
Benefits...CHECK

(Plus, I seriously think they'll want to help you get to the bottom of this lung thing since it could possibly be tobacco-related and my understanding--based largely on see The Insider a dozen times, whatever--is that they like to keep those things on the low-low.)

Pursue, Jeffy, pursue! Send me your resume and I will doctor. Trust me, my personal resume philosophy (Your resume should not document what you HAVE done, but what you COULD do if given the chance) has never done me wrong. After all, how can you get sparkly shit on your resume if no one lets you in the sparkle room? I'm telling you, think less autobiography and more creative writing. How else can you become the world's most luscious tobacco whore?

Re: Jeffy, Big Tobacco Whore

[rod_swollen]

yes because it isnt good enough for me to not like who i am, lets see how much hate i can really have toward myself.

fuck, if they actually would hire me, id do it. just for the dirty, dirty money.

and a monkey.

Re: Jeffy, Big Tobacco Whore

[privatepraxis]

Well, now I'm really gonna push you to do it because A.)dirty, dirty money...mmmmm and 2.) obviously I harbor secret fantasies about playing with your monkey.