Handcuffs And Alibis [One Shot]
Summary: Jack and Alex are fighting. The two bands are sick of it. Josh solves it in the way that he knows will work.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish. Title goes to Toxic Valentine-All Time Low, Cut goes to Get Down On Your Knees And Tell Me You Love Me-All Time Low
A/N: At The End
Dedication: teaandfanfics cause our conversation led to this one shot's birth
One Shot Masterpost
It was three weeks into tour and Alex and Jack were fighting again. They'd been constantly fighting over stupid things since about a week in and everyone else was sick of it.
It all started with one big fight halfway through the first week. Apparently, Alex had cheated on Jack and then, in retaliation, Jack had slept with someone else. Only after did he find out that Alex's cheating had been a fan rumour. Even though it was clearly affecting them, neither of the boys had talked to the other about it and the problem had never been resolved.
This led to fights every other hour about the most ridiculous things. Fights about how Alex had forgotten to leave his hair straightener on for Jack to use, how Jack had put away the milk in the wrong spot in the tour bus fridge, how Jack was wearing Alex's shirt without asking, and even, how Alex had jacked off one morning, rather then getting off with Jack.
It was safe to say that everyone else on the tour was sick of it. It was the first ever You Me At Six/All Time Low headliner tour and it should have been the greatest tour ever. Both You Me At Six fans and All Time Low fans alike had rejoiced and screamed their respective fangirlisms when the tour had been announced and this was the tour that everyone was waiting for. It should have been perfect.
And it pretty much was, apart from Jack and Alex's constant fighting. It was taking a toll on both bands and all of the crew and they had finally all held a meeting to do something about it.
They'd decided to call this meeting to tackle what they'd called: Operation To Stop Alex And Jack's Bitching Because It's So Fucking Annoying.
They were all crammed into the You Me At Six bus while Jack had taken Alex to see a film (after he suggested they go get lunch and Alex snapped at him that obviously he wanted to see a film, “I've all ready eaten, Jack. If you paid attention to me every once in a while you might see that,”).
People were sitting anywhere they could in the close quarters of the bus and everyone took turns to voice an idea.
Evan suggested that they try out some techniques that he'd seen on some television show about fighting couples. Max suggested that they enrol the pair into a couple therapy session, (Danny had then yelled out, “We don't need another excuse for Alex to write another song about Therapy, Max!).
Josh, who was stretched out on his stomach atop the little kitchenette counter in his bus let out a breath. He was bored. This stupid meeting was pathetic and, as far as he was concerned, the sooner they decided upon one of the many boring and stupid ideas, the better. He lay and blew out through his mouth trying to move a piece of hair that had settled across his nose, without using his hands.
Rian had just suggested another boringly boring idea when Josh decided that he'd had enough. He knew what would fix Jack and Alex's annoying fighting guaranteed and he didn't know why no one had said it yet.
He looked around at the far-too-many people on his bus and decided that no one was going to say it so he had to take the responsibility. He sighed and sat up, moaning and groaning as if it were the hardest thing ever done in the world.
His dramatic move caused the majority of people to look at him. The blue-eyed boy then had an over dramatic coughing fit so that the rest of the people on the bus looked at him. When he finally got the attention he desired and the whole bus was looking at him patiently waiting, he spoke, “You're all just wasting your time. We all know what the best way to deal with this is.”
He then paused as the faces of his audience all looked bemused or confused. He extended his pause just a little more to irritate everyone then said one word, “Handcuffs.”
He sat there smug, and then finally someone said something, “Uhm. Sorry, Josh, but....handcuffs?” A very sceptical Chris asked.
Josh sighed as if everyone on the bus were clueless, which, he thought, they must be, considering they hadn't thought of this all ready. “It's simple. We handcuff Alex and Jack and then we leave them like that until they make up and stop being fucking annoying. Duhhhh.”
At this everyone laughed and looked at Josh like he was mental, “Okay, Josh. Great. We're going to go back to actually thinking of ideas now, okay?” Dan said.
The boy that had thought of the amazing idea crossed his arms over his chest and then furrowed his forehead as the conversation resumed as if he hadn't spoken, 'Fine,' he thought, 'If they don't want to solve this, then fine. Don't listen to me'.
~
Two more days passed and the Alex/Jack situation had gotten worse. Now they were refusing to speak to each other, and this included onstage! And it was all because Alex had refused to let Jack pay for their dinner. Jack had blown up in his face and now the blonde had been essentially catatonic since then.
The band and crew were all biting their fingernails and sending each other worried glances because they really needed to stop this fighting. And fast. Their previous meeting hadn't led to anything concrete and they were still indecisive about what they should do.
Josh observed this all from afar. After listening to a hushed conversation between the two bands' managers about the “situation” he slowly wandered into a shop that he had seen when they drove through the town on the way to the venue.
~
The English singer smiled to himself and he silently punched in the code to get into the All Time Low bus. He knew that only Jack and Alex were asleep on it because the rest of the band/crew had either gone to a hotel or the You Me At Six bus, not being able to handle the tension and awkwardness.
Josh tiptoed to the bunk section and tried his hardest not to let the bag holding his purchase from earlier make any noise. When he got to where he needed to be, he crouched down to the level of the two bottom bunks. Jack and Alex's bunks.
Lucky for Josh, both boys slept with their curtains drawn and their arms sprawled across the hallways. When they weren't fighting, they liked to call it one of their “cute couple quirks”.
Satisfied that they were both definitely asleep, the awake boy slowly drew out what was in the bag. He winced at the colour, but it was all they'd had.
He quietly unlatched both sides of the handcuffs and in the most careful that he thought he'd ever been in his life, attached each of the metal cuffs to the sleeping boys arms. When the deed was done, Josh couldn't hold back the giggle that escaped his lips at the thought that he'd successfully fitted handcuffs to the couple without them waking up.
With this giggle, Josh had accidentally woken up Alex though, because he was a relatively light sleeper. The blonde groggily opened his eyes and looked up at Josh in confusion,
“Wha-what are you...?” he then realised that when he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes, his right arm was met with resistance.
He looked down at it and noticed that there was a ring of metal around his wrist. He scrunched his forehead, “Josh? What's going on?” He asked in a sleepy, confused voice.
The other boy opened his mouth to answer when Alex's constant tugged on his wrist woke up Jack. Josh, sensing an argument quickly stood up and walked to the front lounge. The blonde, still confused as to why there was a handcuff attached to his wrist and still waking up, stood up to follow, so foggy headed that he didn't even realise that there was a Jack now attached to him.
“Wait, Josh!”
When Alex stood up he heard a bang and then a yell as Jack slammed his head against the top of his bunk, he then heard an angry, “What the fu-? Alex! What did you do!?”
Alex's eyes suddenly widened as he heard Jack's mad tone and he stammered, “It-it wasn't me, it was-Josh wait! Come on.” He said to Jack.
The Lebanese boy, too tired to argue followed Alex as he, none-too-gently, pulled Jack out from his bunk and then into the front lounge where Josh still was.
Alex opened his mouth to calmly ask again why Josh had done this, but Jack beat him to it.
“Josh. Do you mind explaining WHY THE FUCK YOU'VE HANDCUFFED ME TO ALEX?! AND WHY THE HANDCUFFS ARE FUCKING BRIGHT. NEON. PINK?!” He screamed.
The blue-eyed boy stood the with his mouth twisting. He took in how Alex was just standing there looking confused and wide-eyed and rubbing his arm awkwardly whilst Jack's face had gone a bright red colour. Then he looked down at the metal rings connecting them, and couldn't hold it back any longer. They really were bright neon pink. They were so pink in fact, that if you looked at them for any longer than five seconds it actually hurt your eyes. And they were fuzzy.
The singer burst out into laughter, clutching his stomach and panting. There were tears in his eyes blurring his vision and he was having trouble breathing. He wiped his eyes and attempted to stop the bouts of laughter going through him.
He wiped his eyes again as he explained, “See, you two have been fighting for like, two or three weeks, and it's annoying the fuck out of everyone. There was some stupid meeting held to try and think of a way to fix you guys, but everyone's ideas were idiotic and boring. I suggested that we handcuff you together and no one liked my idea. They are clearly morons so I decided to carry out my plan alone.” He thought for a moment, “Oh. And, the handcuffs are pink and fuzzy because that's the only kind they had at the sex shop down the street.”
At the phrase “sex shop” Alex started to blush intently and then glanced at Jack quickly. The other singer followed his gaze and realised that throughout his explanation Jack had his head bent over his arm.
“Jack? What are you doing?”
The Lebanese boy moved his head and Josh could see that he was gnawing on the metal that connected the cuffs.
“I'm trying to bite through these hand cuffs.”
“Why?” Josh asked.
“To get away from Alex.”
At this the blonde blushed again and looked in the opposite direction from Jack. Josh bit his lip, feeling bad for him.
“Well, it's not gonna work, Jack. These are sex handcuffs, they're designed for hardcore sex things.”
“Fine!” The dark haired boy replied then moved his head slightly.
“What are you doing now?”
“Trying to bite my arm off to get away from Alex.” Jack replied in a garbled, matter of fact tone.
Josh furrowed his eyebrows, “Look, Jack. The only way that you're gonna get out of them is if I let you out of them. And the only way that I'm gonna do that is if you and Alex talk and work things out. So...you know. Talk.”
The Lebanese boy raised his head and looked Josh in the eye. He then purposefully went back to chewing on his wrist in a clear sign of “fuck no”.
The singer looked at Alex and gave him a look. The blonde sighed and then said softly, “Come on, Jack. Stop. Look. Just-just tell me why you did it, okay?”
The younger boy stopped mid-chew and looked up at his boyfriend then said, “I don't know why I did it, Lex. I just got really jealous picturing you with another guy and I did it out of spite.”
“Oh.” The blonde said softly.
Jack bit his lip, “If it helps any, he was horrible. Like, he didn't even know what he was doing. The only way that I could get though it was picturing you.”
Alex raised an eyebrow through his newly formed blush, “Really?” he asked, sceptically.
Jack nodded, “Mhm. You know, that face that you do when I find your sweet spot? Oh, fuck. I can't even think about it right now.” He moved closer to Alex and then purred, “I'd much rather see it.”
The blonde didn't move but said, “I'm still mad at you, you know.”
“Mmm?” The other boy said now going to kiss his neck.
Alex moaned, then said, “Yes.”
Josh made a disgusted face, “Ooookay. Well, you guys seem to be getting off-ON! Getting on just fine. I'm just gonna go,” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small key, putting it on the table, “Here's the key to the handcuffs...if you even want it,” He said, still repulsed.
He shivered and then quickly got out of the bus. He stood outside and couldn't help the smug face that formed. He couldn't wait to tell the others that his “stupid handcuff plan” had worked brilliantly.
Inside the bus, the couple hadn't even realised that Josh had left.
“If you're still mad at me, I suppose we'll have to leave these cuffs on for longer, huh?”
Alex smirked, his previously quiet and shy persona had disappeared and he had suddenly returned to his usual cockiness with anger sprinkled on top, “Well, you will be. As I said, I'm mad at you.”
Jack returned the smirk and his last coherent thought of the night was, 'Maybe fighting and being angry at each other isn't a bad thing. Angry/controlling Lexy is definitely a sexy Lexy.'
xxxxxx
A/N: This is really long and probably turned out shittily. I don't like it much. But, this was based on a conversation that I had last night and I said that I'd write a one shot about it tonight and I just remembered so I really wanted to finish it. If anyone can write smut and would like to write a sequel to this hint hint the angry sex that ensues, please send me a message or something! (I can't write smut, it'd be awkward and you'd all hate it). So, anyone that read, thanks!
Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish. Title goes to Toxic Valentine-All Time Low, Cut goes to Get Down On Your Knees And Tell Me You Love Me-All Time Low
A/N: At The End
Dedication: teaandfanfics cause our conversation led to this one shot's birth
One Shot Masterpost
It was three weeks into tour and Alex and Jack were fighting again. They'd been constantly fighting over stupid things since about a week in and everyone else was sick of it.
It all started with one big fight halfway through the first week. Apparently, Alex had cheated on Jack and then, in retaliation, Jack had slept with someone else. Only after did he find out that Alex's cheating had been a fan rumour. Even though it was clearly affecting them, neither of the boys had talked to the other about it and the problem had never been resolved.
This led to fights every other hour about the most ridiculous things. Fights about how Alex had forgotten to leave his hair straightener on for Jack to use, how Jack had put away the milk in the wrong spot in the tour bus fridge, how Jack was wearing Alex's shirt without asking, and even, how Alex had jacked off one morning, rather then getting off with Jack.
It was safe to say that everyone else on the tour was sick of it. It was the first ever You Me At Six/All Time Low headliner tour and it should have been the greatest tour ever. Both You Me At Six fans and All Time Low fans alike had rejoiced and screamed their respective fangirlisms when the tour had been announced and this was the tour that everyone was waiting for. It should have been perfect.
And it pretty much was, apart from Jack and Alex's constant fighting. It was taking a toll on both bands and all of the crew and they had finally all held a meeting to do something about it.
They'd decided to call this meeting to tackle what they'd called: Operation To Stop Alex And Jack's Bitching Because It's So Fucking Annoying.
They were all crammed into the You Me At Six bus while Jack had taken Alex to see a film (after he suggested they go get lunch and Alex snapped at him that obviously he wanted to see a film, “I've all ready eaten, Jack. If you paid attention to me every once in a while you might see that,”).
People were sitting anywhere they could in the close quarters of the bus and everyone took turns to voice an idea.
Evan suggested that they try out some techniques that he'd seen on some television show about fighting couples. Max suggested that they enrol the pair into a couple therapy session, (Danny had then yelled out, “We don't need another excuse for Alex to write another song about Therapy, Max!).
Josh, who was stretched out on his stomach atop the little kitchenette counter in his bus let out a breath. He was bored. This stupid meeting was pathetic and, as far as he was concerned, the sooner they decided upon one of the many boring and stupid ideas, the better. He lay and blew out through his mouth trying to move a piece of hair that had settled across his nose, without using his hands.
Rian had just suggested another boringly boring idea when Josh decided that he'd had enough. He knew what would fix Jack and Alex's annoying fighting guaranteed and he didn't know why no one had said it yet.
He looked around at the far-too-many people on his bus and decided that no one was going to say it so he had to take the responsibility. He sighed and sat up, moaning and groaning as if it were the hardest thing ever done in the world.
His dramatic move caused the majority of people to look at him. The blue-eyed boy then had an over dramatic coughing fit so that the rest of the people on the bus looked at him. When he finally got the attention he desired and the whole bus was looking at him patiently waiting, he spoke, “You're all just wasting your time. We all know what the best way to deal with this is.”
He then paused as the faces of his audience all looked bemused or confused. He extended his pause just a little more to irritate everyone then said one word, “Handcuffs.”
He sat there smug, and then finally someone said something, “Uhm. Sorry, Josh, but....handcuffs?” A very sceptical Chris asked.
Josh sighed as if everyone on the bus were clueless, which, he thought, they must be, considering they hadn't thought of this all ready. “It's simple. We handcuff Alex and Jack and then we leave them like that until they make up and stop being fucking annoying. Duhhhh.”
At this everyone laughed and looked at Josh like he was mental, “Okay, Josh. Great. We're going to go back to actually thinking of ideas now, okay?” Dan said.
The boy that had thought of the amazing idea crossed his arms over his chest and then furrowed his forehead as the conversation resumed as if he hadn't spoken, 'Fine,' he thought, 'If they don't want to solve this, then fine. Don't listen to me'.
~
Two more days passed and the Alex/Jack situation had gotten worse. Now they were refusing to speak to each other, and this included onstage! And it was all because Alex had refused to let Jack pay for their dinner. Jack had blown up in his face and now the blonde had been essentially catatonic since then.
The band and crew were all biting their fingernails and sending each other worried glances because they really needed to stop this fighting. And fast. Their previous meeting hadn't led to anything concrete and they were still indecisive about what they should do.
Josh observed this all from afar. After listening to a hushed conversation between the two bands' managers about the “situation” he slowly wandered into a shop that he had seen when they drove through the town on the way to the venue.
~
The English singer smiled to himself and he silently punched in the code to get into the All Time Low bus. He knew that only Jack and Alex were asleep on it because the rest of the band/crew had either gone to a hotel or the You Me At Six bus, not being able to handle the tension and awkwardness.
Josh tiptoed to the bunk section and tried his hardest not to let the bag holding his purchase from earlier make any noise. When he got to where he needed to be, he crouched down to the level of the two bottom bunks. Jack and Alex's bunks.
Lucky for Josh, both boys slept with their curtains drawn and their arms sprawled across the hallways. When they weren't fighting, they liked to call it one of their “cute couple quirks”.
Satisfied that they were both definitely asleep, the awake boy slowly drew out what was in the bag. He winced at the colour, but it was all they'd had.
He quietly unlatched both sides of the handcuffs and in the most careful that he thought he'd ever been in his life, attached each of the metal cuffs to the sleeping boys arms. When the deed was done, Josh couldn't hold back the giggle that escaped his lips at the thought that he'd successfully fitted handcuffs to the couple without them waking up.
With this giggle, Josh had accidentally woken up Alex though, because he was a relatively light sleeper. The blonde groggily opened his eyes and looked up at Josh in confusion,
“Wha-what are you...?” he then realised that when he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes, his right arm was met with resistance.
He looked down at it and noticed that there was a ring of metal around his wrist. He scrunched his forehead, “Josh? What's going on?” He asked in a sleepy, confused voice.
The other boy opened his mouth to answer when Alex's constant tugged on his wrist woke up Jack. Josh, sensing an argument quickly stood up and walked to the front lounge. The blonde, still confused as to why there was a handcuff attached to his wrist and still waking up, stood up to follow, so foggy headed that he didn't even realise that there was a Jack now attached to him.
“Wait, Josh!”
When Alex stood up he heard a bang and then a yell as Jack slammed his head against the top of his bunk, he then heard an angry, “What the fu-? Alex! What did you do!?”
Alex's eyes suddenly widened as he heard Jack's mad tone and he stammered, “It-it wasn't me, it was-Josh wait! Come on.” He said to Jack.
The Lebanese boy, too tired to argue followed Alex as he, none-too-gently, pulled Jack out from his bunk and then into the front lounge where Josh still was.
Alex opened his mouth to calmly ask again why Josh had done this, but Jack beat him to it.
“Josh. Do you mind explaining WHY THE FUCK YOU'VE HANDCUFFED ME TO ALEX?! AND WHY THE HANDCUFFS ARE FUCKING BRIGHT. NEON. PINK?!” He screamed.
The blue-eyed boy stood the with his mouth twisting. He took in how Alex was just standing there looking confused and wide-eyed and rubbing his arm awkwardly whilst Jack's face had gone a bright red colour. Then he looked down at the metal rings connecting them, and couldn't hold it back any longer. They really were bright neon pink. They were so pink in fact, that if you looked at them for any longer than five seconds it actually hurt your eyes. And they were fuzzy.
The singer burst out into laughter, clutching his stomach and panting. There were tears in his eyes blurring his vision and he was having trouble breathing. He wiped his eyes and attempted to stop the bouts of laughter going through him.
He wiped his eyes again as he explained, “See, you two have been fighting for like, two or three weeks, and it's annoying the fuck out of everyone. There was some stupid meeting held to try and think of a way to fix you guys, but everyone's ideas were idiotic and boring. I suggested that we handcuff you together and no one liked my idea. They are clearly morons so I decided to carry out my plan alone.” He thought for a moment, “Oh. And, the handcuffs are pink and fuzzy because that's the only kind they had at the sex shop down the street.”
At the phrase “sex shop” Alex started to blush intently and then glanced at Jack quickly. The other singer followed his gaze and realised that throughout his explanation Jack had his head bent over his arm.
“Jack? What are you doing?”
The Lebanese boy moved his head and Josh could see that he was gnawing on the metal that connected the cuffs.
“I'm trying to bite through these hand cuffs.”
“Why?” Josh asked.
“To get away from Alex.”
At this the blonde blushed again and looked in the opposite direction from Jack. Josh bit his lip, feeling bad for him.
“Well, it's not gonna work, Jack. These are sex handcuffs, they're designed for hardcore sex things.”
“Fine!” The dark haired boy replied then moved his head slightly.
“What are you doing now?”
“Trying to bite my arm off to get away from Alex.” Jack replied in a garbled, matter of fact tone.
Josh furrowed his eyebrows, “Look, Jack. The only way that you're gonna get out of them is if I let you out of them. And the only way that I'm gonna do that is if you and Alex talk and work things out. So...you know. Talk.”
The Lebanese boy raised his head and looked Josh in the eye. He then purposefully went back to chewing on his wrist in a clear sign of “fuck no”.
The singer looked at Alex and gave him a look. The blonde sighed and then said softly, “Come on, Jack. Stop. Look. Just-just tell me why you did it, okay?”
The younger boy stopped mid-chew and looked up at his boyfriend then said, “I don't know why I did it, Lex. I just got really jealous picturing you with another guy and I did it out of spite.”
“Oh.” The blonde said softly.
Jack bit his lip, “If it helps any, he was horrible. Like, he didn't even know what he was doing. The only way that I could get though it was picturing you.”
Alex raised an eyebrow through his newly formed blush, “Really?” he asked, sceptically.
Jack nodded, “Mhm. You know, that face that you do when I find your sweet spot? Oh, fuck. I can't even think about it right now.” He moved closer to Alex and then purred, “I'd much rather see it.”
The blonde didn't move but said, “I'm still mad at you, you know.”
“Mmm?” The other boy said now going to kiss his neck.
Alex moaned, then said, “Yes.”
Josh made a disgusted face, “Ooookay. Well, you guys seem to be getting off-ON! Getting on just fine. I'm just gonna go,” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small key, putting it on the table, “Here's the key to the handcuffs...if you even want it,” He said, still repulsed.
He shivered and then quickly got out of the bus. He stood outside and couldn't help the smug face that formed. He couldn't wait to tell the others that his “stupid handcuff plan” had worked brilliantly.
Inside the bus, the couple hadn't even realised that Josh had left.
“If you're still mad at me, I suppose we'll have to leave these cuffs on for longer, huh?”
Alex smirked, his previously quiet and shy persona had disappeared and he had suddenly returned to his usual cockiness with anger sprinkled on top, “Well, you will be. As I said, I'm mad at you.”
Jack returned the smirk and his last coherent thought of the night was, 'Maybe fighting and being angry at each other isn't a bad thing. Angry/controlling Lexy is definitely a sexy Lexy.'
xxxxxx
A/N: This is really long and probably turned out shittily. I don't like it much. But, this was based on a conversation that I had last night and I said that I'd write a one shot about it tonight and I just remembered so I really wanted to finish it. If anyone can write smut and would like to write a sequel to this hint hint the angry sex that ensues, please send me a message or something! (I can't write smut, it'd be awkward and you'd all hate it). So, anyone that read, thanks!