Room 314; Friday Evening
Chuck was surprised at how he managed to get used to this communicative, almost friendly version of his father hanging around. It was sort of weird at first to hear all those compliments and apologies coming from his dad, but Bart had raised so many good points and told him about the little ways that he helped Chuck over the years that he didn't realize, that it was hard not to believe his sincerity. Hell, even Chuck found himself apologizing to his father for what a jackass he had been over the years. It was all very therapeutic.
He had been kinda enjoying the last day or so, he really had. But there was something nagging at him and he wasn't sure if he could bring it up.
Bart
"Something's bothering you," Bart said from where he was leaning against Chuck's desk. It wasn't a question. Chuck liked to think he was good at hiding his emotions but, in Chuck's own words, you couldn't eff with an effer.
Chuck
Chuck wasn't ever going to get used to hear his father sounding concerned. "I'm not...it's not important."
Bart
"Tell me anyway." He had come here to make Chuck feel better, and he wouldn't have been doing his job if he left him worrying.
Chuck
Chuck sighed and moved away from his father, not quite able to look him in the eye. "It's just...okay, I'm glad you're here--and believe me, I never thought I'd say that--but other people had more than one person show up and I was just wondering...you know..."
Bart
Bart knew where this was going, and he didn't look too happy about it. "You want to know why your mother isn't here."
Chuck
"Yeah," Chuck said, glad his father finished his thought for him. "I would have liked to see her."
Bart
"I know you would have," Bart said. "But that isn't possible."
Chuck
"Why not?" Chuck asked. "Could she not get through? Didn't she want to see me?"
Bart
"It's not that, Chuck," Bart said. He could have left it at that, but some part of him was glad he got to be the one to explain this. He probably should have done it when he was alive, but there was no changing that now. "She's not there. She never was."
Chuck
Chuck gave his father a confused look, trying to figure out what that meant. He didn't think he was talking about some metaphysical Heaven and Hell thing. "I don't get it. If she was never...wherever you are, then what?"
Bart
Bart looked over at his son with a grave look, silently encouraging Chuck to come up with the answer himself.
Chuck
He did, after another moment. Chuck felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as he came up with what seemed to be a crazy possibility, but the only one that could fit. "...Mom's not dead, is she?"
Bart
Bart nodded. "I'm so sorry, Chuck."
Chuck
"Sorry?" Chuck asked, looking completely shocked. This was...this was absolutely ridiculous. This was stuff you saw on soap operas. It didn't happen in real life. "You made me think I killed her! Do you know what that did to me?"
Bart
"She wanted it that way," Bart insisted. "I admit, I should have assured you that it wasn't your fault, but she is the one who wanted me to tell you she was dead."
Chuck
"Why?" Chuck asked. His chest clenched up and he felt tears prick at his eyes, and he tried to push them back as best he could. "Didn't she want me?"
Bart
Bart could see that Chuck was about to cry and was kind enough not to draw attention to it. "Your mother was very young when she got pregnant with you. Too young, in her opinion. I wanted to marry her, but she refused and we agreed to put you up for adoption. But when you were born and I saw you for the first time...I couldn't do it."
Chuck
Chuck took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself in an last ditch attempt to keep being stoic. "And she still didn't want me."
Bart
Bart didn't do anything to confirm that, but it was true. "She thought it'd be easier if I told you she was dead, so you'd never go looking for her. She left the country, and I never saw or heard from her again."
Chuck
"I spent my whole life feeling like shit over her death," Chuck said, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. "And she's been off living her life and just...not caring."
He always thought it was his bad behavior that put people off. Now it turned out nobody's ever wanted to be around him, even before he started acting out. Great. That was a confidence booster.
Bart
"I'm sorry," Bart said again. He moved closer to Chuck and put his hands on his shoulders. "But know that I did want you. And I have not once regretted my decision to keep you with me."
Chuck
Chuck nodded a little. He knew the sentiment was sincere, but nothing could really make him feel better at the moment. "Thank you."
Bart
Bart slid his arms around Chuck's shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. He was surprised at how easy this came to him and regretted not doing it before. "You going to be okay?"
Chuck
Chuck nodded against Bart's shoulder, even though he wasn't sure if he would be. The shock or sadness of the situation wasn't going to wear off any time soon, but Chuck figured there wasn't anything anyone could do to help him.
[Getting this out of the way since I'm hanging out with some whores tomorrow. NFI but OOC is okay]
He had been kinda enjoying the last day or so, he really had. But there was something nagging at him and he wasn't sure if he could bring it up.
Bart
"Something's bothering you," Bart said from where he was leaning against Chuck's desk. It wasn't a question. Chuck liked to think he was good at hiding his emotions but, in Chuck's own words, you couldn't eff with an effer.
Chuck
Chuck wasn't ever going to get used to hear his father sounding concerned. "I'm not...it's not important."
Bart
"Tell me anyway." He had come here to make Chuck feel better, and he wouldn't have been doing his job if he left him worrying.
Chuck
Chuck sighed and moved away from his father, not quite able to look him in the eye. "It's just...okay, I'm glad you're here--and believe me, I never thought I'd say that--but other people had more than one person show up and I was just wondering...you know..."
Bart
Bart knew where this was going, and he didn't look too happy about it. "You want to know why your mother isn't here."
Chuck
"Yeah," Chuck said, glad his father finished his thought for him. "I would have liked to see her."
Bart
"I know you would have," Bart said. "But that isn't possible."
Chuck
"Why not?" Chuck asked. "Could she not get through? Didn't she want to see me?"
Bart
"It's not that, Chuck," Bart said. He could have left it at that, but some part of him was glad he got to be the one to explain this. He probably should have done it when he was alive, but there was no changing that now. "She's not there. She never was."
Chuck
Chuck gave his father a confused look, trying to figure out what that meant. He didn't think he was talking about some metaphysical Heaven and Hell thing. "I don't get it. If she was never...wherever you are, then what?"
Bart
Bart looked over at his son with a grave look, silently encouraging Chuck to come up with the answer himself.
Chuck
He did, after another moment. Chuck felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as he came up with what seemed to be a crazy possibility, but the only one that could fit. "...Mom's not dead, is she?"
Bart
Bart nodded. "I'm so sorry, Chuck."
Chuck
"Sorry?" Chuck asked, looking completely shocked. This was...this was absolutely ridiculous. This was stuff you saw on soap operas. It didn't happen in real life. "You made me think I killed her! Do you know what that did to me?"
Bart
"She wanted it that way," Bart insisted. "I admit, I should have assured you that it wasn't your fault, but she is the one who wanted me to tell you she was dead."
Chuck
"Why?" Chuck asked. His chest clenched up and he felt tears prick at his eyes, and he tried to push them back as best he could. "Didn't she want me?"
Bart
Bart could see that Chuck was about to cry and was kind enough not to draw attention to it. "Your mother was very young when she got pregnant with you. Too young, in her opinion. I wanted to marry her, but she refused and we agreed to put you up for adoption. But when you were born and I saw you for the first time...I couldn't do it."
Chuck
Chuck took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself in an last ditch attempt to keep being stoic. "And she still didn't want me."
Bart
Bart didn't do anything to confirm that, but it was true. "She thought it'd be easier if I told you she was dead, so you'd never go looking for her. She left the country, and I never saw or heard from her again."
Chuck
"I spent my whole life feeling like shit over her death," Chuck said, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. "And she's been off living her life and just...not caring."
He always thought it was his bad behavior that put people off. Now it turned out nobody's ever wanted to be around him, even before he started acting out. Great. That was a confidence booster.
Bart
"I'm sorry," Bart said again. He moved closer to Chuck and put his hands on his shoulders. "But know that I did want you. And I have not once regretted my decision to keep you with me."
Chuck
Chuck nodded a little. He knew the sentiment was sincere, but nothing could really make him feel better at the moment. "Thank you."
Bart
Bart slid his arms around Chuck's shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. He was surprised at how easy this came to him and regretted not doing it before. "You going to be okay?"
Chuck
Chuck nodded against Bart's shoulder, even though he wasn't sure if he would be. The shock or sadness of the situation wasn't going to wear off any time soon, but Chuck figured there wasn't anything anyone could do to help him.
[Getting this out of the way since I'm hanging out with some whores tomorrow. NFI but OOC is okay]