In my mind. Scabs. And why we pick at them.
Why do we pick at scabs?
Scabs are time's way of healing,
rebuilding,
and moving on.
So why do we constantly pick at what we KNOW we shouldn't?
Why can we not just move on and let time heal our wounds?
Because no matter what,
even though time has done it's part,
even though time is LETTING us move on,
LETTING us start over,
healed, and happy,
we will always WANT what was there BEFORE.
We will want to go back to the old skin,
even though it is damaged,
broken,
dead,
and no longer the skin we once loved.
We subconsciously like the pain that comes with every scratch and dig.
We think that MAYBE,
just MAYBE,
if we pick and tear at the ugliness of scabs,
we can get back to our old skin.
Back to how things USED to be.
Back to before the trauma happened.
Before our flesh was cold-heartedly ripped open,
revealing our fragile,
warm blood to trickle down.
MAYBE,
Subconsciously,
We are relieved to see the blood on our finger.
To see the dark red gush out of an open wound and drench our fingers and nails.
It shows us that we're still alive.
That we still feel.
That even though we were hurt so badly,
we have not yet died.
That maybe it's not the end of the world after all.
Who knows…?
Maybe a scab is just a scab.
Scabs and wounds heal, but there will ALWAYS be that scar to remind me of what used to be. Of what hurt. Of it the time before the would. Of ALL of it.