emily the weirdo
Sooo lets see.
Friday night me and Mario met Mandy and Brian, Kelly and Brett, Matt and Kelly, Shelly, Sean, and Melanie for pizza at Brother's Pizza. I really hate that place so I didn't eat anything. Then Brett and Kelly, Mandy and Brian, and me and Mars went and saw The Village. When we got there though there weren't 6 seats together so we all had to sit apart. Mario and me got the best seats though...muhahaha. Anyways, I went in thinking the movie was going to be scary and about some weird things in the forest of this village. And although it did have a little to do with that, there was a whole plot twist I wasn't expecting. I at first didn't like it because I wanted a scary movie and nothing else...but I really like it now. M. Night always sends such good messages across in his movie. He really makes you think.
Yesterday my mother and I had our garage sale. We made 150 dollars...and we sold alot of stuff for really cheap. She gave me half of the profits so that was fun. Then I hung out with Mars last night.
Except...he got me doubting myself. When I got to his house he was listening to some CD's and the song "America" came on by Simon and Garfunkel. I mentioned how I love that song and it's one of my favorites. So he asked why and I said that I always wanted to just travel around the U.S. and only stay in one place for like 3 months, work, meet some people, see new things, and then leave and that song summed it up for me. And he was like "Oh so should I be expecting that you'll get tired of me in three months and move on?" And he wasn't really being serious, but it really bothered me. Not what he said, but how it got me feeling. I have always hated how fickle I am. I hate it more than anything. It drives me insane, and I can't ever control it. What if I do get restless and move on? Because I know if I do do that, I will live to regret it. I can't trust my feelings...bc the second I act on them I regret it. I don't know this all sounds so dumb. But it's like I become a whole different person...kinda how I used to get during summer. Bah, I sound crazy. But I don't trust myself...I never have and I don't think I ever will. I wasn't even thinking about doubting myself...until he asked that question. Now all I can think of is "Whats going to happen? Am I going to ruin this? What do I want? Is this what I want?" I always end up hurting people...I know I do because I have a lot. I hate myself a lot right now. I wish I was a better person. A person that was more stable and dependable.
Anyways, I went to the mall today. I bought a cute shirt from Old Navy, some boxers for Mario, and now I am about to go make him some cupcakes!
Ten more days. Lately I have been so moody, and emotional. Mario has gotten the brunt of it. I feel so bad for him. I just don't want to leave. So I think all this weirdness it just me getting upset and bothered about leaving.
Anywho....
This old life seemed much too long
With little point in going on
I couldn't think of what to say
Words just vanished in the haze
I was feeling cold and tired
Yeah kinda sad and uninspired
But when it almost seemed too much
I see your face
And sense the grace
And feel the magic in your touch
OH LAY YOUR HANDS
LAY YOUR HANDS ON ME
OH LAY YOUR HANDS
WOO-OO-OO-OO!
OH LAY YOUR HANDS
OH LAY HOUR HANDS ON ME
Friday night me and Mario met Mandy and Brian, Kelly and Brett, Matt and Kelly, Shelly, Sean, and Melanie for pizza at Brother's Pizza. I really hate that place so I didn't eat anything. Then Brett and Kelly, Mandy and Brian, and me and Mars went and saw The Village. When we got there though there weren't 6 seats together so we all had to sit apart. Mario and me got the best seats though...muhahaha. Anyways, I went in thinking the movie was going to be scary and about some weird things in the forest of this village. And although it did have a little to do with that, there was a whole plot twist I wasn't expecting. I at first didn't like it because I wanted a scary movie and nothing else...but I really like it now. M. Night always sends such good messages across in his movie. He really makes you think.
Yesterday my mother and I had our garage sale. We made 150 dollars...and we sold alot of stuff for really cheap. She gave me half of the profits so that was fun. Then I hung out with Mars last night.
Except...he got me doubting myself. When I got to his house he was listening to some CD's and the song "America" came on by Simon and Garfunkel. I mentioned how I love that song and it's one of my favorites. So he asked why and I said that I always wanted to just travel around the U.S. and only stay in one place for like 3 months, work, meet some people, see new things, and then leave and that song summed it up for me. And he was like "Oh so should I be expecting that you'll get tired of me in three months and move on?" And he wasn't really being serious, but it really bothered me. Not what he said, but how it got me feeling. I have always hated how fickle I am. I hate it more than anything. It drives me insane, and I can't ever control it. What if I do get restless and move on? Because I know if I do do that, I will live to regret it. I can't trust my feelings...bc the second I act on them I regret it. I don't know this all sounds so dumb. But it's like I become a whole different person...kinda how I used to get during summer. Bah, I sound crazy. But I don't trust myself...I never have and I don't think I ever will. I wasn't even thinking about doubting myself...until he asked that question. Now all I can think of is "Whats going to happen? Am I going to ruin this? What do I want? Is this what I want?" I always end up hurting people...I know I do because I have a lot. I hate myself a lot right now. I wish I was a better person. A person that was more stable and dependable.
Anyways, I went to the mall today. I bought a cute shirt from Old Navy, some boxers for Mario, and now I am about to go make him some cupcakes!
Ten more days. Lately I have been so moody, and emotional. Mario has gotten the brunt of it. I feel so bad for him. I just don't want to leave. So I think all this weirdness it just me getting upset and bothered about leaving.
Anywho....
This old life seemed much too long
With little point in going on
I couldn't think of what to say
Words just vanished in the haze
I was feeling cold and tired
Yeah kinda sad and uninspired
But when it almost seemed too much
I see your face
And sense the grace
And feel the magic in your touch
OH LAY YOUR HANDS
LAY YOUR HANDS ON ME
OH LAY YOUR HANDS
WOO-OO-OO-OO!
OH LAY YOUR HANDS
OH LAY HOUR HANDS ON ME