fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat...melancholy and cool, kind of bittersweet...
well...i just don't know about this whole livejournal thing anymore. it's not so much fun. i don't have much i can talk about. i hate just talking about what's been going on, but the things i need to get out in the open aren't appropriate for public display. sure, i've got people to talk to. the girls, and...well...the girls...of course i love them! i just want something that i don't have...something that isn't there anymore...something that i'm not sure was there in the first place...in all actuality, i really don't know who i'm talking about. i guess i'm just weird...
of course i should be studying for biology, but there's a lot on my mind, and though this isn't a place to release most of it, it can at least get my mind off things. friday night was the johnson game. it was homecoming. i sucked at cheering, but i didn't feel all there. we won, which rocked. *tara won homecoming queen*, which rocked even harder. after the game we went to eat mexican. umm...me, chris, blair, parker, the rest of the county that didn't go to waho...i got sick. i came straight home and went to bed. i woke up yesterday at 6 to go pick up doughnuts. haley, chris, and i sold at the IGA intersection. mom, laina, and i met tammy and blair at the school to leave for atl. we got all the costumes for the play and even got to go by the mall for a while. we met up with cliff and ate at shogun. we got to blue ridge about midnight and i spent the night with blair for the first time ever. we started watching constantine, but we got confused and fell asleep within the first twenty minutes. we woke up for church this morning. it was great. i like it at her church. we ate at sue's, changed clothes, went to a birthday party, went back to her house to finish the movie, fell asleep, and mom came to get me. now i'm home, everything's a mess, i miss people really badly, my stomach hurts, and i want to turn on dashboard really loud, slam the door, and sleep until next week.
WHY do i have to be like this? why can't i ever just be 100% HAPPY?! i should do this...i shouldn't, i shouldn't, i shouldn't...but, ya know...this is different...it's not something it's ever been before...EVER...it's something i NEVER in my life thought would happen...and i want it to go away...far away...where it's heading now isn't far enough...
damnit, you piss me off.
jake---i'm SO sorry about friday night. we were afraid it would rain, so we didn't take any mats to the field, therefore we couldn't tumble. i'll follow through at the next opportunity...promise, promise...
"other people's parents piss me off so badly. why can't all parents be like you?"
--the rents loved that one. i meant it, too.
ahh...it's really quite amazing how much i like parker... ♥
k...that's all i've got for right now, besides the song under the cut. though it has nothing to do with how i feel as expressed above, i found it rather appropriate for this time. by the way, i'm F.I.N.E. take that how you want...
ANNA NALICK---"BLEED"
Well, it's been almost a year to the moment
When I finally realized it was over
And I knew that love wasn't good enough
Of a reason for me to stay
Well, I saw you yesterday; you were drivin'
And I tried so hard to forget
You were alive, and as you passed by I began to cry
Over things that I did not say
And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me
Yeah, yeah
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own
Well, it takes all of my strength to be stable
And I force your insults under the table
And if you were wise you would compromise
And allow me to live my way
'Cause I am not a force to be reckoned with
And you don't have a clue what you're messin' with
And you can't see to the best in me
'Cause it's more than your heart can take
And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me
I'm awakening me
I'm awakening me, yeah
I'm awakening me
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own
I'm takin' my heart and I'm settin' you free
And, baby, now you're just another song to me
And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me
To bleed
of course i should be studying for biology, but there's a lot on my mind, and though this isn't a place to release most of it, it can at least get my mind off things. friday night was the johnson game. it was homecoming. i sucked at cheering, but i didn't feel all there. we won, which rocked. *tara won homecoming queen*, which rocked even harder. after the game we went to eat mexican. umm...me, chris, blair, parker, the rest of the county that didn't go to waho...i got sick. i came straight home and went to bed. i woke up yesterday at 6 to go pick up doughnuts. haley, chris, and i sold at the IGA intersection. mom, laina, and i met tammy and blair at the school to leave for atl. we got all the costumes for the play and even got to go by the mall for a while. we met up with cliff and ate at shogun. we got to blue ridge about midnight and i spent the night with blair for the first time ever. we started watching constantine, but we got confused and fell asleep within the first twenty minutes. we woke up for church this morning. it was great. i like it at her church. we ate at sue's, changed clothes, went to a birthday party, went back to her house to finish the movie, fell asleep, and mom came to get me. now i'm home, everything's a mess, i miss people really badly, my stomach hurts, and i want to turn on dashboard really loud, slam the door, and sleep until next week.
WHY do i have to be like this? why can't i ever just be 100% HAPPY?! i should do this...i shouldn't, i shouldn't, i shouldn't...but, ya know...this is different...it's not something it's ever been before...EVER...it's something i NEVER in my life thought would happen...and i want it to go away...far away...where it's heading now isn't far enough...
damnit, you piss me off.
jake---i'm SO sorry about friday night. we were afraid it would rain, so we didn't take any mats to the field, therefore we couldn't tumble. i'll follow through at the next opportunity...promise, promise...
"other people's parents piss me off so badly. why can't all parents be like you?"
--the rents loved that one. i meant it, too.
ahh...it's really quite amazing how much i like parker... ♥
k...that's all i've got for right now, besides the song under the cut. though it has nothing to do with how i feel as expressed above, i found it rather appropriate for this time. by the way, i'm F.I.N.E. take that how you want...
ANNA NALICK---"BLEED"
Well, it's been almost a year to the moment
When I finally realized it was over
And I knew that love wasn't good enough
Of a reason for me to stay
Well, I saw you yesterday; you were drivin'
And I tried so hard to forget
You were alive, and as you passed by I began to cry
Over things that I did not say
And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me
Yeah, yeah
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own
Well, it takes all of my strength to be stable
And I force your insults under the table
And if you were wise you would compromise
And allow me to live my way
'Cause I am not a force to be reckoned with
And you don't have a clue what you're messin' with
And you can't see to the best in me
'Cause it's more than your heart can take
And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me
I'm awakening me
I'm awakening me, yeah
I'm awakening me
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own
I'm takin' my heart and I'm settin' you free
And, baby, now you're just another song to me
And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me
To bleed