i might be inclined to be yours for the taking and part of this terrible mess that you're making...
well ladies and stupid, confusing, closed-minded, self-centered, immature, unthoughtful, disgusting JERKS out there [seeing as most guys are such as that], it's time for another update. i know, i know. it's been close to a week, but i just don't have the time anymore. i honestly didn't even turn my computer on for close to a week. so, here's what's been going on.
last saturday night i went to jake's house for his little going away shindig. it was insanely awesome and whatever. we played football and i sucked at it, but my team won...i think. the coolest thing ever was that i got to wear his little sister's shoes. they were definitely a kids' 3. alicia, hope, and i rode around on jake's younger siblings' toys in the driveway. so yeah, it was a blast.
sunday is kind of a blur. i know jake left, but i didn't see him. umm...yeah that's definitely all i remember.
monday we had morning practice and i looked less than decent. i left school at 9 to get my physical. i'm not dead, so that's good. i got back to school for drama and was tex's partner in the skit we had to do. it was...amusing? after school i had practice again. that's all i remember.
tuesday was morning practice again, so of couse tj said i looked "very nice" in a VERY sarcastic way. school was alright, but nothing special, as usual. we had drama set inventory that night and it went very well. we're getting a ton of stuff done on the set. it's gonna be awesome.
i don't remember wednesday. umm...all i remember about thursday is that we had an insane practice after school. it's probably the hardest yet. i honestly wanted to fall over dead to be put out of my misery.
friday was quite possibly one of the worst days of my life. i say that proudly because i am a drama queen and yeah, listen to this. i got to school early to study for biology and to get help with geometry, but i think both were useless. i KNOW i failed my biology quiz. i lost the back of my earring, so i tried to fix it with masking tape. i jokingly said i looked like a kindergarden teacher because of my outfit [the cheerleaders dressed up], and the rest of the day i heard, "mrs. burgess, may i go to the potty?" i got out of spanish to work on the sponser sign, which just happened to be for baugh home builders, but it was QUITE a complicated task. chris and i had to paint on the back of a coke sign, so it was a umm...what's the word...like smooth slick surface. we got some paint, but it was water based so it wouldn't work. we got a different kind of paint, but it still looked REALLY bad. so i suppose the only ---slightly---good thing about the sign making was well...something that will go unmentioned, but for some odd reason it made me feel a little better...moving on, we had first lunch because of the geom. test. the masking tape fell off my earring and i used a chocolate marshmallow from my rice krispy treat to hold it on. said marshmallow fell down my dress upon entering E hall, so that was complicated. the test in wendy's class was hard, but i think i might have passed...maybe. chris and i got outta there to put some glitter on the sign, which didn't work, so we walked around with collis and pammy and sprayed spray adhesive on the ugly-ness. after school got out at 1:10, i rode with charee and the girls over to jessica's aunt's house to work on cheers and band dances. we ate at circle j and then hit up roses and goodys to waste some time before the game. once at the school, i managed to CLIMB OUT CHAREE'S WINDOW like an idiot cause the door wouldn't open. gah...so before the game sucked for the most part because of things that were pushed right there in my face, but whatever. i don't even care anymore. in fact, i kinda want things to be better. anyways...i saw jake! so i poked him in the stomach and hugged him cause i was SO excited to see him [even though it had been less than a week]. after that things got better. we sucked the first half of the game, but it was fun regardless. the second half was better. afterwards we went to eat mexican [me, blair, chris]. jake, tj, noah, heath, and hope were there so we sat with them and it was crazy. chris and blair spent the night. ben and jerry are amazing. ibc cherry limade is my addiction. i love that song from bring it on that cliff writes of tor. i want someone to write me a song. i mean, i want a serious one that's just corny enough to be amazingly sweet. it has to have rock music too. haha, text messages at like 1:30 and blair threatening to kill people cause she was almost asleep...words some people find offensive were flying...noah called and we talked for a while. i fell asleep before he called back...
this morning i woke up and we got ready. we picked up mal, hit up the trailer, and headed over to the park to meet leigh and emily to work on our spanish video project, which turned out pretty good. it's funny, i guess. we're crazy. em and i went to get pedicures. they match, hehe. we finished stuff for spanish and hung out til we decided for SOME reason to go to the rodeo. blair met us here and we picked kristin [as in towe] and chris up. we got to the rodeo and RIGHT when we got up there to pay they said that we couldn't go in because it was too packed. so they told us to go sit on the hill and watch. so we were all ticked off, but we marched over to that hill and we were all talking about how pissed we were and how we were minors and if something happened then they would be responsible because they wouldn't "allow us" to pay 12 freakin bucks to get into the redneck fest. anyways, one of the guys heard us and said that we could go in the gate for free, but some guy stopped him, but they made a compromise and we got in free. they were scared about the things we said about being underage and stuff i guess. so the rodeo was decent, i suppose. i had fun. we met up with parker. i jumped on the trampoline thing and played in the bouncy tower. i also rode the MECHANiCAL BULL and almost broke my neck, but it was alright. so that's what's been going on...
i love my girls...really...but sometimes i just get so ticked off because i'm TIRED of being like 10th on the list of people to hang out with, but whatever. i shouldn't be like this, but i am and i don't know how to feel any other way.
good game last night, guys. the band was good, too. i miss you guys. :(
SO i really don't know what to EFFING do because i TRY and TRY and TRY and guess what...i can't even say it's for nothing! do you know why? because i DO get part of what i want out of it i guess...i do get flirted with and hung all over whenever i want, for the most part, but then there's nothing other than that. i don't HAVE to have a formal relationship, but i DO like confirmation, or at least some acknoledgement of the situation...if it's even a situation at all...but you trust me now, so that's good...and ahh...honey is like my favorite color ever...
i'm pathetic. PATHETIC. P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.
i'm not really mad. things will work out. of course you're an exception.
i know i was mad for a long time, and then i went through my "hurt" phase, and then came the "i'm such as badass and i don't care" phase, and now i'm almost ready for things to be...umm...fixed? we should work on that. i'm proud of you, actually, because you actually do some pretty cool things when i expect something completely different. thanks...
this is a crazy long entry, but it'll be another week or so before i update again. i'm sorry for the errors, but i'm not reading over the whole thing to correct it. i'll leave a song that makes me cry for some reason...
D.H.T. [Roxette]
Listen to Your Heart
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
And there were voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
His scent of magic the beauty that’s been
Well I was wilder than the wind
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
Listen to your heart
I don't know where your going and I don't know why
Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
last saturday night i went to jake's house for his little going away shindig. it was insanely awesome and whatever. we played football and i sucked at it, but my team won...i think. the coolest thing ever was that i got to wear his little sister's shoes. they were definitely a kids' 3. alicia, hope, and i rode around on jake's younger siblings' toys in the driveway. so yeah, it was a blast.
sunday is kind of a blur. i know jake left, but i didn't see him. umm...yeah that's definitely all i remember.
monday we had morning practice and i looked less than decent. i left school at 9 to get my physical. i'm not dead, so that's good. i got back to school for drama and was tex's partner in the skit we had to do. it was...amusing? after school i had practice again. that's all i remember.
tuesday was morning practice again, so of couse tj said i looked "very nice" in a VERY sarcastic way. school was alright, but nothing special, as usual. we had drama set inventory that night and it went very well. we're getting a ton of stuff done on the set. it's gonna be awesome.
i don't remember wednesday. umm...all i remember about thursday is that we had an insane practice after school. it's probably the hardest yet. i honestly wanted to fall over dead to be put out of my misery.
friday was quite possibly one of the worst days of my life. i say that proudly because i am a drama queen and yeah, listen to this. i got to school early to study for biology and to get help with geometry, but i think both were useless. i KNOW i failed my biology quiz. i lost the back of my earring, so i tried to fix it with masking tape. i jokingly said i looked like a kindergarden teacher because of my outfit [the cheerleaders dressed up], and the rest of the day i heard, "mrs. burgess, may i go to the potty?" i got out of spanish to work on the sponser sign, which just happened to be for baugh home builders, but it was QUITE a complicated task. chris and i had to paint on the back of a coke sign, so it was a umm...what's the word...like smooth slick surface. we got some paint, but it was water based so it wouldn't work. we got a different kind of paint, but it still looked REALLY bad. so i suppose the only ---slightly---good thing about the sign making was well...something that will go unmentioned, but for some odd reason it made me feel a little better...moving on, we had first lunch because of the geom. test. the masking tape fell off my earring and i used a chocolate marshmallow from my rice krispy treat to hold it on. said marshmallow fell down my dress upon entering E hall, so that was complicated. the test in wendy's class was hard, but i think i might have passed...maybe. chris and i got outta there to put some glitter on the sign, which didn't work, so we walked around with collis and pammy and sprayed spray adhesive on the ugly-ness. after school got out at 1:10, i rode with charee and the girls over to jessica's aunt's house to work on cheers and band dances. we ate at circle j and then hit up roses and goodys to waste some time before the game. once at the school, i managed to CLIMB OUT CHAREE'S WINDOW like an idiot cause the door wouldn't open. gah...so before the game sucked for the most part because of things that were pushed right there in my face, but whatever. i don't even care anymore. in fact, i kinda want things to be better. anyways...i saw jake! so i poked him in the stomach and hugged him cause i was SO excited to see him [even though it had been less than a week]. after that things got better. we sucked the first half of the game, but it was fun regardless. the second half was better. afterwards we went to eat mexican [me, blair, chris]. jake, tj, noah, heath, and hope were there so we sat with them and it was crazy. chris and blair spent the night. ben and jerry are amazing. ibc cherry limade is my addiction. i love that song from bring it on that cliff writes of tor. i want someone to write me a song. i mean, i want a serious one that's just corny enough to be amazingly sweet. it has to have rock music too. haha, text messages at like 1:30 and blair threatening to kill people cause she was almost asleep...words some people find offensive were flying...noah called and we talked for a while. i fell asleep before he called back...
this morning i woke up and we got ready. we picked up mal, hit up the trailer, and headed over to the park to meet leigh and emily to work on our spanish video project, which turned out pretty good. it's funny, i guess. we're crazy. em and i went to get pedicures. they match, hehe. we finished stuff for spanish and hung out til we decided for SOME reason to go to the rodeo. blair met us here and we picked kristin [as in towe] and chris up. we got to the rodeo and RIGHT when we got up there to pay they said that we couldn't go in because it was too packed. so they told us to go sit on the hill and watch. so we were all ticked off, but we marched over to that hill and we were all talking about how pissed we were and how we were minors and if something happened then they would be responsible because they wouldn't "allow us" to pay 12 freakin bucks to get into the redneck fest. anyways, one of the guys heard us and said that we could go in the gate for free, but some guy stopped him, but they made a compromise and we got in free. they were scared about the things we said about being underage and stuff i guess. so the rodeo was decent, i suppose. i had fun. we met up with parker. i jumped on the trampoline thing and played in the bouncy tower. i also rode the MECHANiCAL BULL and almost broke my neck, but it was alright. so that's what's been going on...
i love my girls...really...but sometimes i just get so ticked off because i'm TIRED of being like 10th on the list of people to hang out with, but whatever. i shouldn't be like this, but i am and i don't know how to feel any other way.
good game last night, guys. the band was good, too. i miss you guys. :(
SO i really don't know what to EFFING do because i TRY and TRY and TRY and guess what...i can't even say it's for nothing! do you know why? because i DO get part of what i want out of it i guess...i do get flirted with and hung all over whenever i want, for the most part, but then there's nothing other than that. i don't HAVE to have a formal relationship, but i DO like confirmation, or at least some acknoledgement of the situation...if it's even a situation at all...but you trust me now, so that's good...and ahh...honey is like my favorite color ever...
i'm pathetic. PATHETIC. P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C.
i'm not really mad. things will work out. of course you're an exception.
i know i was mad for a long time, and then i went through my "hurt" phase, and then came the "i'm such as badass and i don't care" phase, and now i'm almost ready for things to be...umm...fixed? we should work on that. i'm proud of you, actually, because you actually do some pretty cool things when i expect something completely different. thanks...
this is a crazy long entry, but it'll be another week or so before i update again. i'm sorry for the errors, but i'm not reading over the whole thing to correct it. i'll leave a song that makes me cry for some reason...
D.H.T. [Roxette]
Listen to Your Heart
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
And there were voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
His scent of magic the beauty that’s been
Well I was wilder than the wind
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
Listen to your heart
I don't know where your going and I don't know why
Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye