[Fic] meadowmines: Life is a Banquet (And Some Poor Suckers Are Starving To Death)
Sam/Dean
Title: Life is a Banquet (And Some Poor Suckers Are Starving To Death)
Writer: meadowmines
Status of work: complete
Characters and/or pairings: Sam/Dean, Bobby
Rating: R
Warnings, kinks & contents: [Click to read]ah god, too much FOOD, including tuna salad
Length: 7,500
Summary: In which Sam and Dean are cursed and hungry all the time and Dean still hates tuna fish. Or: fucking redcaps.
Reccer's notes: My last rec for the month. I don't do crack, or hardly ever (uh. I don't do crack fic. Or crack - you know what I'm trying to say). This is an oldie but goodie, too perfect to pass up. Mostly hilarious, partly disgusting or partly hunger-making, depending on your state of mind, and then there's sex. Because why not?
[Short excerpt]
So this particular bunch of redcaps was chasing them all over this Godforsaken stretch of woods in Wyoming that seemed to be composed entirely of pollen-shedding pine trees, blackberry bushes, and poison ivy, taunting them with obscene gestures and calling Sam a yakfucker and shit like that.
And that was bad enough, but then Dean just happened to look behind him and saw one of them waving its schlong at him like a lasso and on a scale of one to ten with one being "perfectly normal" and ten being "shit ain't right," this clocked in at a solid bazillion. God, how the hell could they run like that without some kind of support for those things? They were hung like fucking horses, didn't that hurt?
"Best part of ye ran doon yer mum's hind legs!" it screeched at him and okay, that was it. Casting aspersions on his and Sam's genetic composition, Dad's sexual preferences, and Mom's species in ten words? Normally Dean would be impressed with that level of trash-talking proficiency but as it was, the little motherfuckers needed to die now.