[Fic] de_nugis: Recall
Sam/Dean
Title: Recall
Writer: de_nugis
Status of work: complete
Characters and/or pairings: Sam/Dean, Lucifer (hallucinated)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings, kinks & contents:[Click to read]self-harm, gore, hints of suicidal ideation
Length: 6,300
Summary: Sam can't tell what's real with Lucifer popping in and out of his head, but he knows Dean will put him down if he has to. He's saved the voicemail to remind himself, because the voicemail was before Lucifer and all the hallucinations, so it must be true. Right? Voicemail fix-it & first-time.
Reccer's notes: This story is right up there for me in terms of triggering compassion and sadness for these guys, all without any self-pity from the characters themselves. It's Sam and Dean, suffering - until Dean finds a key of a different kind. It helps. It's just amazing.
[Short excerpt]“Sam,” says Dean, “Dude. Talk. To me, OK, not to him. What the fuck is going on?”
The thing is, Sam’s not sure he knows any more. And he’s freaking Dean out, which is ironic, considering. He pinches the bridge of his nose, tries to get the stupid shaking under control. He can manage this.
“Look,” he says. “Can we establish first if the you killing me thing is still on? Cause I’m not sure I want to spend my last conversation giving you the guided tour of my fucked-up head.” Dean usually doesn’t like what’s in Sam’s head. Not that Sam can blame him.
“The what thing?” Dean asks. His face darkens. He takes a step away from the car and then back, grabs Sam’s shoulder and shakes him sharply. “Is that what he told you? That I’m after you or something? Why the hell would you believe crazy shit like that? From the fucking prince of lies! Why would you listen to him?”
“I didn’t,” says Sam. “I don’t. It wasn’t him, it was you. I’m not talking about Lucifer. I’m talking about your voicemails. Don’t know why you always have to do this by voicemail.”