(no subject)
So I'm still a little confused. I went through a little thing this weekend where I wasn't really sure what I wanted with this relationship. I talked to Kurt about it and things were okay for like 5 minutes and the rest of the time I just pretended. It's hard to explain. I sound like a bitch for saying it becasue I have something great going for me and I'm trying to throw it away. I don't know... I just feel like I want to be free. I feel like I'm missing out on things. I feel like I'm neglecting my other friends. It just doesn't feel right. I'm not exactly sure what I want to do.
So after I left Kurt's on Saturday, I intended on going straight home... but somehow I ended up at McDonalds and picked up Kile. None of it was planned until it happened. I dont even know. I went and hung out with him and his friend at his brothers appt again and we just talked shit and watched his brother play a video game. He's a nice guy.
Last night Bryce called me. I missed him so much. We talked about all the old stuff we used to like me making fun of his accent and talked about the band and everything. I'm so proud of him for what he's accomplished. He asked me if I would come to NYC and stay with him for New Year's Eve and spend a few days shopping and staying in his brother's appt. Of course I want to go! I asked Monica to come with me and she wants to go too. Just the thought of finally hanging out with him is awesome. Me and him have been talking for over 3 years now. You guys might think it's weird but we talked more than I talked to most of the people around here. He's an awesome friend. I hope the plans go through. I just have to save some mad cash.
So today I'm 18. It really doesnt feel any different. I'm excited for our party and everything. With turning 18 comes the countdon to getting out. I'm going to be touring campuses and stuff soon and idk.. everyones leaving.
I'm so happy for Cassie. She's setting her mind to going far away and she's trying so hard to it. Her grades are amazing and she's working her ass off for money. I don't care what she thinks.. she's going to make something of herself. I won't let her stay here. The only way she's going to be happy is if she's away from all of this shit. I'm so upset she's leaving but at the same time I'm so happy that she's going to be doing what makes HER happy. Things are going to work out.
:/ :/ :/ :/
So after I left Kurt's on Saturday, I intended on going straight home... but somehow I ended up at McDonalds and picked up Kile. None of it was planned until it happened. I dont even know. I went and hung out with him and his friend at his brothers appt again and we just talked shit and watched his brother play a video game. He's a nice guy.
Last night Bryce called me. I missed him so much. We talked about all the old stuff we used to like me making fun of his accent and talked about the band and everything. I'm so proud of him for what he's accomplished. He asked me if I would come to NYC and stay with him for New Year's Eve and spend a few days shopping and staying in his brother's appt. Of course I want to go! I asked Monica to come with me and she wants to go too. Just the thought of finally hanging out with him is awesome. Me and him have been talking for over 3 years now. You guys might think it's weird but we talked more than I talked to most of the people around here. He's an awesome friend. I hope the plans go through. I just have to save some mad cash.
So today I'm 18. It really doesnt feel any different. I'm excited for our party and everything. With turning 18 comes the countdon to getting out. I'm going to be touring campuses and stuff soon and idk.. everyones leaving.
I'm so happy for Cassie. She's setting her mind to going far away and she's trying so hard to it. Her grades are amazing and she's working her ass off for money. I don't care what she thinks.. she's going to make something of herself. I won't let her stay here. The only way she's going to be happy is if she's away from all of this shit. I'm so upset she's leaving but at the same time I'm so happy that she's going to be doing what makes HER happy. Things are going to work out.
:/ :/ :/ :/