how will you know?
Okay, still busy like a fucker. Kind of panicking in my head about various things.
I'm trying to write a one-sentence poem due in class today. It's about drag queens, at Chesh's suggestion. I already made 2 stabs at a one-sentence poem and didn't like either enough to use them and this one's going better. But I also neglected to critique poetry so I have to do that entire packet between now and 1PM. Good thing I slept from 2PM yesterday to 5AM today. Or not, since I could've done this shit last night.
I just bought a ticket to see Flogging Molly alone tomorrow night at the Sokol Auditorium. I needed another show and I can't see anything Wednesday night, can't find anything tonight, and my second ticket is due Thursday. I've heard they're good, or amusing, or something. I'm no longer picky.
Still up in the air is that Scissor Sisters show in Kansas City over spring break. No one's replied to me on the forum, and Tiffy can't take me down there (not your fault, Tiffy, but thank you for offering!), and I have 2 tickets and I want to go with Destiny but we have no ride. My mom made ambiguous noises earlier suggesting that she MIGHT let Smeg take me (but Smeg doesn't even want to see the show, which is why I had two tickets in the first place, though I'd buy her a ticket if she did, but she hates noise and I don't want her to have to do that), or that I should get my license like, this week, and drive myself, or that she might be able to take us depending on her schedule. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. I REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS SHOW. I THINK I FAIL. I also could use it for my class. DAMN THE WORLD. AHH.
Also due on Thursday is my scholarship form for Writer's Workshop. ANYONE and I mean anyone at this point who can write me a letter of recommendation, which I've been begging for since 4 weeks ago or something, please, please do. I need 6 examples of my work and I don't know what poems to submit. Everything looks like it fails too much right now.
I dropped American Government right after I wrote that entry last week. I don't have the time for it. I think it would be a better class in a real-time setting, anyway, so perhaps I'll try it in the fall. Who knows?
ALSO due Thursday is my reading journal for The Age Of Innocence, which I am about 1/4 the way through reading. I'm going to have to do some hardcore bullshitting ... I don't know when. Probably Wednesday after British Literature. And I have no idea what we're doing in that class and can't be bothered to worry about it when nothing's due, exactly, besides reading for the reading quizzes I so loathe.
Oh, my dresser came the other day. Unfortunately, Dad looked at it and realized it's a piece of crap. It's plastic veneer over pressed wood and he says (and I trust him on this, because he knows his shit when it comes to furniture/construction) that it will likely fall apart the second time I try to move it. CRAPCAKES. So we're going to take it back and go buy something that's real wood and costs no less than $500 this time, because I want this dresser to last me my life. I hate buying furniture. STOOPID LYING SALESMEN. He said it was maple and never implied it was anything but. Jesus.
I'm really looking forward to spring break. Well, I was until I just remembered that the day after it ends, I have a presentation on Anne Sexton due that I have essentially not started because I have been in several chain bookstores looking for the biography that Diane Middlebrook wrote about her, but it's OUT OF PRINT. If I hadn't just spent basically all the money I have on that Flogging Molly ticket, I could go nab it off Amazon, but I'm afraid it wouldn't come in time. Fuck. I need to hit the library when I have the time and it's not snowing like a fuckwhore. Which is why I didn't see a show this weekend.
Well, no, I actually got depressed on Friday night and put myself to bed for several hours, only to get depressed again the next morning and have a flip-out. I was doing really well, or was I? Obviously if I'm writing these really angsty entries about how I HAVE NO TIME AHHH, I'm not. I still haven't seen any of the medical professionals I need to see (drug therapist, dentist) or switched doctors and it's really frustrating because nothing can get fixed if I'm not fixing it. But I lack money and experience.
On the topic of money, I also have to fill out a tax form since I was employed last year and I don't know what to do about it because Dad and Mom sort of talked about it and then haven't mentioned it and I'm really worried about it and I don't know what to do! Fuck. I wish I had the time for a job this semester since I don't think I could hold one down during Sconecon 2007 (i.e. July, when some people off the internet come and see me every year for a month, and that's the only time I ever see them, generally) and I hate to get myself into another k0hlb0rg position during May and June. That was crap. I'd like to have a kind of permanent job that didn't suck completely. Maybe I should start a comic like Silver did. Except in writing because I can't draw.
I still want to declare a music minor but I'm too busy flipping a spaz about everything else to call the person I need to do that. Also, I seem to be busy enough and it has been Proven that I am incapable of holding down more than 4 classes a semester. But I want musics in my life. I'd start a band if I knew how and knew anyone who played things/wanted a singer. I'd want to hone my piano skills first. I keep meaning to move my piano keyboard from the basement to my room, but I can't decide if it would make it look like I have no space in here - I already have all these papers on the floor from writing and from ... crap. I don't know what it is - check crap and money crap and whatever that Mom found and wants me to store in this stupid binder thing and I just sorted a bunch of it from under my bed and I don't want to sort any more. I hate papers. FUCK. I hate everything right now. Except music. Music is great.
J.
I'm trying to write a one-sentence poem due in class today. It's about drag queens, at Chesh's suggestion. I already made 2 stabs at a one-sentence poem and didn't like either enough to use them and this one's going better. But I also neglected to critique poetry so I have to do that entire packet between now and 1PM. Good thing I slept from 2PM yesterday to 5AM today. Or not, since I could've done this shit last night.
I just bought a ticket to see Flogging Molly alone tomorrow night at the Sokol Auditorium. I needed another show and I can't see anything Wednesday night, can't find anything tonight, and my second ticket is due Thursday. I've heard they're good, or amusing, or something. I'm no longer picky.
Still up in the air is that Scissor Sisters show in Kansas City over spring break. No one's replied to me on the forum, and Tiffy can't take me down there (not your fault, Tiffy, but thank you for offering!), and I have 2 tickets and I want to go with Destiny but we have no ride. My mom made ambiguous noises earlier suggesting that she MIGHT let Smeg take me (but Smeg doesn't even want to see the show, which is why I had two tickets in the first place, though I'd buy her a ticket if she did, but she hates noise and I don't want her to have to do that), or that I should get my license like, this week, and drive myself, or that she might be able to take us depending on her schedule. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. I REALLY WANT TO SEE THIS SHOW. I THINK I FAIL. I also could use it for my class. DAMN THE WORLD. AHH.
Also due on Thursday is my scholarship form for Writer's Workshop. ANYONE and I mean anyone at this point who can write me a letter of recommendation, which I've been begging for since 4 weeks ago or something, please, please do. I need 6 examples of my work and I don't know what poems to submit. Everything looks like it fails too much right now.
I dropped American Government right after I wrote that entry last week. I don't have the time for it. I think it would be a better class in a real-time setting, anyway, so perhaps I'll try it in the fall. Who knows?
ALSO due Thursday is my reading journal for The Age Of Innocence, which I am about 1/4 the way through reading. I'm going to have to do some hardcore bullshitting ... I don't know when. Probably Wednesday after British Literature. And I have no idea what we're doing in that class and can't be bothered to worry about it when nothing's due, exactly, besides reading for the reading quizzes I so loathe.
Oh, my dresser came the other day. Unfortunately, Dad looked at it and realized it's a piece of crap. It's plastic veneer over pressed wood and he says (and I trust him on this, because he knows his shit when it comes to furniture/construction) that it will likely fall apart the second time I try to move it. CRAPCAKES. So we're going to take it back and go buy something that's real wood and costs no less than $500 this time, because I want this dresser to last me my life. I hate buying furniture. STOOPID LYING SALESMEN. He said it was maple and never implied it was anything but. Jesus.
I'm really looking forward to spring break. Well, I was until I just remembered that the day after it ends, I have a presentation on Anne Sexton due that I have essentially not started because I have been in several chain bookstores looking for the biography that Diane Middlebrook wrote about her, but it's OUT OF PRINT. If I hadn't just spent basically all the money I have on that Flogging Molly ticket, I could go nab it off Amazon, but I'm afraid it wouldn't come in time. Fuck. I need to hit the library when I have the time and it's not snowing like a fuckwhore. Which is why I didn't see a show this weekend.
Well, no, I actually got depressed on Friday night and put myself to bed for several hours, only to get depressed again the next morning and have a flip-out. I was doing really well, or was I? Obviously if I'm writing these really angsty entries about how I HAVE NO TIME AHHH, I'm not. I still haven't seen any of the medical professionals I need to see (drug therapist, dentist) or switched doctors and it's really frustrating because nothing can get fixed if I'm not fixing it. But I lack money and experience.
On the topic of money, I also have to fill out a tax form since I was employed last year and I don't know what to do about it because Dad and Mom sort of talked about it and then haven't mentioned it and I'm really worried about it and I don't know what to do! Fuck. I wish I had the time for a job this semester since I don't think I could hold one down during Sconecon 2007 (i.e. July, when some people off the internet come and see me every year for a month, and that's the only time I ever see them, generally) and I hate to get myself into another k0hlb0rg position during May and June. That was crap. I'd like to have a kind of permanent job that didn't suck completely. Maybe I should start a comic like Silver did. Except in writing because I can't draw.
I still want to declare a music minor but I'm too busy flipping a spaz about everything else to call the person I need to do that. Also, I seem to be busy enough and it has been Proven that I am incapable of holding down more than 4 classes a semester. But I want musics in my life. I'd start a band if I knew how and knew anyone who played things/wanted a singer. I'd want to hone my piano skills first. I keep meaning to move my piano keyboard from the basement to my room, but I can't decide if it would make it look like I have no space in here - I already have all these papers on the floor from writing and from ... crap. I don't know what it is - check crap and money crap and whatever that Mom found and wants me to store in this stupid binder thing and I just sorted a bunch of it from under my bed and I don't want to sort any more. I hate papers. FUCK. I hate everything right now. Except music. Music is great.
J.