she's got a ticket to ride...and she dont care.
so a whole lot happened today. in addition to someother stuff that didn't happen which could explain my confusion.
first...you must congratulate me (while knocking on wood) for all A's on my finals (give or take one) so far.
after surviving my not so demoralizing tests i went out to eat with chelsea and amy...where i heard her drag on about nick as though he was the key to cleansing us all of our sins.then somehow i ended up abandoning my moms hope of me getting much needed sleep and ended up in the car with jillian, where we spent a inordinate (sp?) amount of time figuring out where we wanted to eat. i gave up and she picked cuban food based on some hottie that had walked in. then unwillfuly, due entirely to some sort of electromagnetic force, we ended up shopping at LuCkY.
000skizzurt00 -imtiredofwritingaboutmyday-
so i witnessed/experienced some pretty sweet occurences today.
1st.this...which is incredibly hard to articulate...is exactly the same kind of feeling i explain when visions of a chubby/lonely/content little girl, walking solemly down the street after just having had to sit on the bus alone for 30 minutes DROPS her neatly packed lunch (which was made by her overprotective, but nontheless caring mother) which is the only sign of humanly consideration she recieves each day, and...it splatters everywhere, and its not so much ruined as her security and innocense seemed to have been jErKeD to an agonizing H A L T. shes lost for a bit, and in that time ...she realizes that shes empty inside without these amnemities (although completely insignificant they are to snobs like you and i) However, she doesnt hurriedly collect the soup container or ziploc of homemade chocolate chip cookies, no she apathetically picks them up. but im not sure why its an apathetic gesture
either
A) its a facade, if others (who dont understand her) see her do it nonchalantly they might think it was such a disastrous happening for the girl--redeeming any sort of pride she had with them.
B) shes given up, whats one more second under such LENSES, if they think shes a clutz, it cant add any significant amount of fuel to their fire, not enough to hurt much more than shes already had to cope with, right?
C)shes doing things her way, and what? there are people around watching..hell she didnt notice. (somehow i doubt that this is the one)
D) maybe this is her coming to grips with the person SHE needs to be, and its her formulating what this entails NOT THEM.
anyway. point was thats my scary vision, i see it all the time in my head, and im sure it happens every 5 minutes in this world. i think i saw it today, differently however. jillians step brother was playing basketball on their court by himself this afternoon. he rushed home, threw on the proper apparell and i saw him DASH! dash for the court like he had been waiting all day. maybe it represents therapy that no one else can give him. maybe its his daily regiment for a better body, so he can be more like his stepbrother. maybe its him crystallizing a passion in hopes of acquiring confidence for the highschool years that are soon to come. whatever it was, something was going on in that head as i watched him through the window, striive for that basket...yes something other than pure physical exasperation.
on a lighter note.
jill and i went to pearls (art supply store).
i smoked a ciggarette while she went in to buy drawing shit (i dont know). so i came in late and i come across this hottie that works there and i say, "YO DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE WRITING STUFF IS" and needless to say it was evidently very amature like...NO not like a thriving young artists. guy looks at me like im crazy and maybe a little internally offensive. ANYWAY, i find jill. he comes up behind me as i approach her, and i say in a non discreet WHISPER "ask him a question" (motioning my head back) so she does. and they flirt. and its cute. and hes art and shes art, and its pretty. we leave the store, having no number transaction take place we curse at guys oblivity (?) and wonder why he didnt take a hint and ask her for her digits. we decide he must be 40, and was scared of the statuary rape laws intact (damn them). so as we're getting in her car, i see him come out of the store! so im like jilli dont look now but hes coming (im going to have a cigarette as an execuse to stay in the parking lot longer, i know im fucking good) so i do...and shes messing with the keys, etc etc. yes, rejoice! he comes up to her, they chat, he asks for her number (in case she has any art questions and if she likes coffee). it was such a success, and a ironic one indeed. i felt like a bit of a pimp im not gonna lie.
********
you know how you can tell someones gone a little too long without ass?
when theyve come to this revelation! and they inform you of it like its no big THANG. and guess what it is (ya cuz i went thru it, yall know) asexuality...course they use large wordy descriptions that add up to one big euphamism that doesnt give it justice. they say, "well i can live without guys, seriously...i'll just work on findng myself for a little bit." ya thats right, soooo predictable.
****
studied at starbucks till late with dani and chris.
i <3 this captalistic pigs. *gasp* they are actually altruistic, they seriously give me free fraps right and left.
***
martha, whom i was supposed to live with in chicago had i of moved, is visiting.
when she sees me;
her:OMG your hair, ahhh uhhh ahh, let me see it in thel light! what did YOU DO? (in a detestable tone of course)
me: silence (my head: "certaintly less than your 100,000 plastic surgery did for you!")
Me after a minute of this: "well i think you look really nice"
her: oh ya you too!
mmmk.so im done.
first...you must congratulate me (while knocking on wood) for all A's on my finals (give or take one) so far.
after surviving my not so demoralizing tests i went out to eat with chelsea and amy...where i heard her drag on about nick as though he was the key to cleansing us all of our sins.then somehow i ended up abandoning my moms hope of me getting much needed sleep and ended up in the car with jillian, where we spent a inordinate (sp?) amount of time figuring out where we wanted to eat. i gave up and she picked cuban food based on some hottie that had walked in. then unwillfuly, due entirely to some sort of electromagnetic force, we ended up shopping at LuCkY.
000skizzurt00 -imtiredofwritingaboutmyday-
so i witnessed/experienced some pretty sweet occurences today.
1st.this...which is incredibly hard to articulate...is exactly the same kind of feeling i explain when visions of a chubby/lonely/content little girl, walking solemly down the street after just having had to sit on the bus alone for 30 minutes DROPS her neatly packed lunch (which was made by her overprotective, but nontheless caring mother) which is the only sign of humanly consideration she recieves each day, and...it splatters everywhere, and its not so much ruined as her security and innocense seemed to have been jErKeD to an agonizing H A L T. shes lost for a bit, and in that time ...she realizes that shes empty inside without these amnemities (although completely insignificant they are to snobs like you and i) However, she doesnt hurriedly collect the soup container or ziploc of homemade chocolate chip cookies, no she apathetically picks them up. but im not sure why its an apathetic gesture
either
A) its a facade, if others (who dont understand her) see her do it nonchalantly they might think it was such a disastrous happening for the girl--redeeming any sort of pride she had with them.
B) shes given up, whats one more second under such LENSES, if they think shes a clutz, it cant add any significant amount of fuel to their fire, not enough to hurt much more than shes already had to cope with, right?
C)shes doing things her way, and what? there are people around watching..hell she didnt notice. (somehow i doubt that this is the one)
D) maybe this is her coming to grips with the person SHE needs to be, and its her formulating what this entails NOT THEM.
anyway. point was thats my scary vision, i see it all the time in my head, and im sure it happens every 5 minutes in this world. i think i saw it today, differently however. jillians step brother was playing basketball on their court by himself this afternoon. he rushed home, threw on the proper apparell and i saw him DASH! dash for the court like he had been waiting all day. maybe it represents therapy that no one else can give him. maybe its his daily regiment for a better body, so he can be more like his stepbrother. maybe its him crystallizing a passion in hopes of acquiring confidence for the highschool years that are soon to come. whatever it was, something was going on in that head as i watched him through the window, striive for that basket...yes something other than pure physical exasperation.
on a lighter note.
jill and i went to pearls (art supply store).
i smoked a ciggarette while she went in to buy drawing shit (i dont know). so i came in late and i come across this hottie that works there and i say, "YO DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE WRITING STUFF IS" and needless to say it was evidently very amature like...NO not like a thriving young artists. guy looks at me like im crazy and maybe a little internally offensive. ANYWAY, i find jill. he comes up behind me as i approach her, and i say in a non discreet WHISPER "ask him a question" (motioning my head back) so she does. and they flirt. and its cute. and hes art and shes art, and its pretty. we leave the store, having no number transaction take place we curse at guys oblivity (?) and wonder why he didnt take a hint and ask her for her digits. we decide he must be 40, and was scared of the statuary rape laws intact (damn them). so as we're getting in her car, i see him come out of the store! so im like jilli dont look now but hes coming (im going to have a cigarette as an execuse to stay in the parking lot longer, i know im fucking good) so i do...and shes messing with the keys, etc etc. yes, rejoice! he comes up to her, they chat, he asks for her number (in case she has any art questions and if she likes coffee). it was such a success, and a ironic one indeed. i felt like a bit of a pimp im not gonna lie.
********
you know how you can tell someones gone a little too long without ass?
when theyve come to this revelation! and they inform you of it like its no big THANG. and guess what it is (ya cuz i went thru it, yall know) asexuality...course they use large wordy descriptions that add up to one big euphamism that doesnt give it justice. they say, "well i can live without guys, seriously...i'll just work on findng myself for a little bit." ya thats right, soooo predictable.
****
studied at starbucks till late with dani and chris.
i <3 this captalistic pigs. *gasp* they are actually altruistic, they seriously give me free fraps right and left.
***
martha, whom i was supposed to live with in chicago had i of moved, is visiting.
when she sees me;
her:OMG your hair, ahhh uhhh ahh, let me see it in thel light! what did YOU DO? (in a detestable tone of course)
me: silence (my head: "certaintly less than your 100,000 plastic surgery did for you!")
Me after a minute of this: "well i think you look really nice"
her: oh ya you too!
mmmk.so im done.