Sister's my new mother, mother.
In celebration/mourning of yet another potential series finale of Arrested Development (it happens every year... there have probably been more premature-tribute articles about this show than there will be during the last few agonizing years of elderly Dakota Fanning's life) ... here is an altogether slipshod list. Watch, tape, TiFaux tonight! 8-10PM on Fox. Not to save the ratings. That can't be done. Just for your own good.
Anyway:
THE TEN BEST ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT QUOTES THAT HAPPEN TO BE LISTED ON ITS IMDB PAGE
1. GOB: Franklin said some things Whitey wasn't ready to hear.
MICHAEL: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
GOB: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn't ready to hear either.
2. GOB: [as Franklin] I ain't kissin' that ol' bitch!
3. LUCILLE: Michael Moore confronted me on national television!
MICHAEL: First of all, that was not Michael Moore. That was a Michael Moore look-alike. And second it wasn't national television. It was for a bit, on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
LUCILLE: I don't know what that is nor do I care to find out.
4. LUCILLE: She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob.
5. NARRATOR: Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival, Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well...
GOB: 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single City."
Narrator: ...his ideas failed to evolve.
GOB: It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City."
STAN SITWELL: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
NARRATOR: But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one.
GOB: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in. This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in [BLEEP] City!
6. [Complaining about a gay boat protest upstaging her husband's retirement party]
LUCILLE: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.
7. MICHAEL: The only thing I found in the refrigerator was a dead dove in a bag.
Gob: You didn't eat that dove, did you? I only have 6 days to return it!
8. MICHAEL: Where did you get that outfit?
LINDSAY: Mom gave it to me. I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
MICHAEL: Only two of those words describe mom, so I know you're lying to me.
(I'd put the "seaward" joke in place of this one, but it doesn't make a lot of sense out of context.)
9. LUCILLE: And I'm putting Buster in charge.
Michael: Buster? You mean, the one who thought the blue on the map was land?
10. TOBIAS: If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break.
NARRATOR: But it wasn't.
Anyway:
THE TEN BEST ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT QUOTES THAT HAPPEN TO BE LISTED ON ITS IMDB PAGE
1. GOB: Franklin said some things Whitey wasn't ready to hear.
MICHAEL: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
GOB: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn't ready to hear either.
2. GOB: [as Franklin] I ain't kissin' that ol' bitch!
3. LUCILLE: Michael Moore confronted me on national television!
MICHAEL: First of all, that was not Michael Moore. That was a Michael Moore look-alike. And second it wasn't national television. It was for a bit, on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
LUCILLE: I don't know what that is nor do I care to find out.
4. LUCILLE: She's trying to prove that she's closer to my children than I am, but the joke's on her, because she doesn't know how little I care for Gob.
5. NARRATOR: Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival, Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well...
GOB: 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single City."
Narrator: ...his ideas failed to evolve.
GOB: It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City."
STAN SITWELL: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
NARRATOR: But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one.
GOB: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in. This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in [BLEEP] City!
6. [Complaining about a gay boat protest upstaging her husband's retirement party]
LUCILLE: Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.
7. MICHAEL: The only thing I found in the refrigerator was a dead dove in a bag.
Gob: You didn't eat that dove, did you? I only have 6 days to return it!
8. MICHAEL: Where did you get that outfit?
LINDSAY: Mom gave it to me. I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
MICHAEL: Only two of those words describe mom, so I know you're lying to me.
(I'd put the "seaward" joke in place of this one, but it doesn't make a lot of sense out of context.)
9. LUCILLE: And I'm putting Buster in charge.
Michael: Buster? You mean, the one who thought the blue on the map was land?
10. TOBIAS: If this were a Lifetime Moment of Truth movie, this would be our act break.
NARRATOR: But it wasn't.