An ode to cellphones
It's amazing to me how people just HAVE to have their cell phones when alone in public places. I've noticed it's kind of replaced the awkwardness of hanging-out-by-yourself, so-you-smoke-a-cigarette scenario. Now people have a few minutes to kill and no one to share them with, so they immediately jump on the phone. It's so annoying. But I do admit, it makes for some FABULOUS eavesdropping.
Yesterday as I was riding the free shuttle back to my car parked in the free lot away from campus (a strategy devised to divert people from even attempting to park their cars at school because there's simply NOTHING available due to the fact there's about 15,000 extra people attending a school that was only designed for about 7,000 students. That's southern California for you...), I overheard one of the best conversations yet. It required some serious attention on my part and a mind attending to detail. I'm sitting on the bus and a lethargic looking girl plops right down next to me and promptly pulls out her shiny red Nokia phone. She dials up whom I'm assuming was a guy she's been dating, and begins to go into a mad questioning frenzy, asking what he considered to be "cheating" in a relationship. From what I gathered from the conversation, she wasn't givin' him any gravy, and if she wasn't gonna start dancin' in the sheets soon, he was gonna pursue other avenues, if you know what I mean. I heard her mention that he should start "making her more comfortable" and maybe she'd consider it. Right, honey...if he's laying it out on the table like that, you're gonna have to make yourself comfortable real fast or you're gonna miss out on the all the action. (That's just my opinion of course.) Moving on to the highlight of this conversation, I overhear the best part where she actually admitted that she was "reading a book about relationships"---which she had to repeat about six times 'cause he supposedly didn't hear her (uh huh, "didn't hear you")---and she told him she read that women shouldn't yell at men when they do something wrong, because then that leads to a fight, and men loathe fights, and ultimately they'll just stop listening to you. I nearly pissed my pants. I was so close to grabbing the phone from her and hanging it up so she could avoid further embarrassment. Why on earth would you have a conversation like that in PUBLIC, on a BUS, for crying out loud. It just couldn't wait until after the 10-minute ride I guess.
Okay fine, guess you had to be there.
Anyway, lots of other conversations going on all around. Of course, some chick in front of me at Carl's Jr. couldn't even hang up while she was ordering her food. Some dude sitting next to me in the quad was stressing out about not knowing where his class was. GET OFF the fucking phone and walk around, man. That's the way to find it. Some other chick got on her phone and I actually overheard her say, "Hey, did you just text-message me? I KNEW it was you!" And finally, two girls on campus were on their phones trying to locate each other, and I could see them both without even moving my head. Entertainment at it's finest.
Maybe I'm just jealous. I'm just dying for the day when I can get my powder blue Nokia phone with 3,000 ring options. That's gonna be the day.
p.s. I got my promotion today!
Yesterday as I was riding the free shuttle back to my car parked in the free lot away from campus (a strategy devised to divert people from even attempting to park their cars at school because there's simply NOTHING available due to the fact there's about 15,000 extra people attending a school that was only designed for about 7,000 students. That's southern California for you...), I overheard one of the best conversations yet. It required some serious attention on my part and a mind attending to detail. I'm sitting on the bus and a lethargic looking girl plops right down next to me and promptly pulls out her shiny red Nokia phone. She dials up whom I'm assuming was a guy she's been dating, and begins to go into a mad questioning frenzy, asking what he considered to be "cheating" in a relationship. From what I gathered from the conversation, she wasn't givin' him any gravy, and if she wasn't gonna start dancin' in the sheets soon, he was gonna pursue other avenues, if you know what I mean. I heard her mention that he should start "making her more comfortable" and maybe she'd consider it. Right, honey...if he's laying it out on the table like that, you're gonna have to make yourself comfortable real fast or you're gonna miss out on the all the action. (That's just my opinion of course.) Moving on to the highlight of this conversation, I overhear the best part where she actually admitted that she was "reading a book about relationships"---which she had to repeat about six times 'cause he supposedly didn't hear her (uh huh, "didn't hear you")---and she told him she read that women shouldn't yell at men when they do something wrong, because then that leads to a fight, and men loathe fights, and ultimately they'll just stop listening to you. I nearly pissed my pants. I was so close to grabbing the phone from her and hanging it up so she could avoid further embarrassment. Why on earth would you have a conversation like that in PUBLIC, on a BUS, for crying out loud. It just couldn't wait until after the 10-minute ride I guess.
Okay fine, guess you had to be there.
Anyway, lots of other conversations going on all around. Of course, some chick in front of me at Carl's Jr. couldn't even hang up while she was ordering her food. Some dude sitting next to me in the quad was stressing out about not knowing where his class was. GET OFF the fucking phone and walk around, man. That's the way to find it. Some other chick got on her phone and I actually overheard her say, "Hey, did you just text-message me? I KNEW it was you!" And finally, two girls on campus were on their phones trying to locate each other, and I could see them both without even moving my head. Entertainment at it's finest.
Maybe I'm just jealous. I'm just dying for the day when I can get my powder blue Nokia phone with 3,000 ring options. That's gonna be the day.
p.s. I got my promotion today!