I am a double poster!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BBWWWHAHAHAHA!
Well, as of late, I feel lost. I am just floating along some path of life... I hate it. I feel ugly and alone. I am so scared this is where I will end up in the end. School is going okay. Art and music are still my esacpe. So, all of my classes this semester are art so I guess thats a plus in some weird way. Work is good. I love my friends at Journeys. They are amazing people and they brighten my day. So, not all is lost even though it feels that way. The biggest issue I have currently is the ever growing hole within my heart. I am so sad at times. Like now... Woo Hoo... I miss him. My heart goes out to him. I just want to hold him and make his life okay, and my life okay. I want him to truly smile again. What can ya do, though? I need this void patched up. I am so needy in this area of my life. I want to skip the bullshit and have a love in my life again. Single is not for me. It's okay at times... but those times are not worth it. Falling asleep next to one you care about and/or love is far more valuable to me. I have a crush on a boy. But I am so scared to let my guard down and acctually go for it. I wish with all of my heart to not be hurt again. I don't know how to read these things anymore. I am clueless. Does he like me? I am just there to cuddle with because he is lonely, or am I special. Who knows... I sure as hell don't. I need to figure some things out, but I don't know what or even where to begin. All I know is I have an empty space within me and I hate it. *Sighs* On a brighter note... My birthday is Sept. 20th...Happy 21st to me! Well, this is all for now.. Sorry for laying all out there again. That's just how I roll. Wear my heart on my sleeve... if ya don't like it turn your cheek I guess. Goodnight lovely people... don't let the bed bugs bite.