in and out . . . in and out . . .
John and I are just fine. Thank you.
We had a long LONG talk last night. Well talking, crying, yelling, and fighting. But we've come to a conclusion to not let other people's hateful words tear us apart.
I am trusting. I am gullible. It's so sad when the world has become a place that people take advantage of those traits. Use them against the person because they know that they'll get the best of them. People see that I do care what others think; that I am insecure about myself in every shape, form, and aspect. They take it and run. RUN to the very edge; until they've pushed me to my very limits.
I am broken. They did not win. Yet, I did fail. I failed to be able to see through the manipulation. I failed to see that they were taking me for a ride; a ride that would end exactly where they wanted it to. They'd done it once before. Now saying she put her friendship on the line to try to help me. But really . . . just wanted the outcome that came of it. Or they didn't and were really trying to "save" me (cause apparently I need it in more ways than one). Oh well. Any trust that I had towards any "truths" they would tell me vanished with this last disgusting email.
But I am my mother's daughter. I will pull through this. I won't let some snide comments make we want to jump off a bridge. They hurt, and they were meant to hurt. Anyone that really knows me could tell anyone that I'd never purposely hurt a fly. I can't twist words to save my life. I don't even like to flick people off because it feels like I'm crushing a butterfly. So, I'm going to choose to not believe people that are out to hurt me, to make me feel like I'm inferior to them just to make themselves feel that much bigger. I'm tired of the small town drama. And I've never had to deal with people that are so malice, hateful, and out to destroy people and their happiness. Maybe she didn't, maybe it was time to move on. Though I'm finding it hard to believe he did it all on his own. Whatever. I will heal. I will try to find happiness even if it's not what others people think is best for me.
They think I'm "moronic" and an "invalid". Fine. You've done your damage, stepped all over me, can you please move on? I'm tired of going back and forth about who started what. If they think I meant to "shake up" anyone they couldn't be more wrong. I could have easily gone to the extent that they did with the harsh and malicious words, but I choose not to. I may not continue to do so. Don't push me. I don't want this to turn into more of a elementary school name calling match than it already is.
"here are a few blatant truths about yourself. You are an evil, cold-hearted, dishonest person, as I believe your posts prove. You are also apparently very moronic and cannot appear to understand the simplest of concepts. And lastly, you are very ugly, and should NEVER post pictures of yourself online in a skirt again. You have the nastiest legs I have ever seen and your face looks like a bug-eyed fart."
Yes, I'm not a super model. Though I like to think that I'm not completely retarded. But that's your prerogative on what to think about me.
****Different Note:
I got the interview at staples. WOOHOO! I don't have to sell my soul to the food industry again!!! YES!