Ugh
So, things haven't gotten better, like I'd hoped. They're just sort of hanging out in the middle, not up, not down. Rob and I haven't spoken much lately and I still don't know if/when he's coming to visit. School is almost over, my final is on Tuesday, and I have tomorrow off!
I've finally realised that I needed someone to talk to about how i was feeling, and I figured that a professional would be best. I looked up therapists where I live and found one! I've talked to her a couple times on the phone. I haven't told my parents yet, I'm waiting until my sister moves out to mention that I believe I need therapy. Luckily, my sister is moving out on Saturday! My dad and I are going with her to help her move into her new house. She's moving to SC, and her new house is only 20 minutes away from our aunt and uncle. So, after we help my sister move in, we're going to go visit them, and spend the night, then come home Sunday.
I don't know how i'm going to tell my parents that I need therapy. I don't want to seem like I am just wanting attention. I just have been feeling really down lately, and I don't have anyone to talk to and I can't talk to my parents about it, they wouldn't understand. Plus, I want someone professional, so they can help me analyze things. Plus, i want someone who isn't invloved in my life, to talk to. Someone who isn't biased, or someone i won't worry about telling things to, afraid of their reaction. Ever since Alyssa stopped talking to me, and then another friend telling me that I was self-centered, and now Chris doesn't want to hang out, i'm afraid to even talk about my feelings to anyone. Afraid that they'll be annoyed, or feel like i'm self-centered. Talking with the therapist, even for just a little bit on the phone helped, it's nice to know that someone knows how i'm feeling, and really cares and believes that I feel this way. I told her that I wouldn't be able to see her til after my sister moves because my sister would think i was just trying to take attention away from her, and we talked a bit about that.
I do have one friend to at least see, and I should call her tomorrow, I've been meaning to all week. I just remembered now! But besides that, I don't have anyone to hang out with anymore. UGH, i hate feeling this way and being so negative!
I've finally realised that I needed someone to talk to about how i was feeling, and I figured that a professional would be best. I looked up therapists where I live and found one! I've talked to her a couple times on the phone. I haven't told my parents yet, I'm waiting until my sister moves out to mention that I believe I need therapy. Luckily, my sister is moving out on Saturday! My dad and I are going with her to help her move into her new house. She's moving to SC, and her new house is only 20 minutes away from our aunt and uncle. So, after we help my sister move in, we're going to go visit them, and spend the night, then come home Sunday.
I don't know how i'm going to tell my parents that I need therapy. I don't want to seem like I am just wanting attention. I just have been feeling really down lately, and I don't have anyone to talk to and I can't talk to my parents about it, they wouldn't understand. Plus, I want someone professional, so they can help me analyze things. Plus, i want someone who isn't invloved in my life, to talk to. Someone who isn't biased, or someone i won't worry about telling things to, afraid of their reaction. Ever since Alyssa stopped talking to me, and then another friend telling me that I was self-centered, and now Chris doesn't want to hang out, i'm afraid to even talk about my feelings to anyone. Afraid that they'll be annoyed, or feel like i'm self-centered. Talking with the therapist, even for just a little bit on the phone helped, it's nice to know that someone knows how i'm feeling, and really cares and believes that I feel this way. I told her that I wouldn't be able to see her til after my sister moves because my sister would think i was just trying to take attention away from her, and we talked a bit about that.
I do have one friend to at least see, and I should call her tomorrow, I've been meaning to all week. I just remembered now! But besides that, I don't have anyone to hang out with anymore. UGH, i hate feeling this way and being so negative!