Somebody needs to read Captain Awkward...
Ugh, so I just accepted a Facebook request from somebody I was friends with in high school; she moved away when we were 18 and we only kept in contact for a few months, and haven't seen each other since. I had a vague memory of having been FB friends before at some point and couldn't remember her having done anything egregious, so I assumed she'd been cut in a general friendslist cull and went ahead and refriended her.
Her first missive yesterday was a cringe-inducing private message, querying whether I was still in lurrve with the teeny-bop popstar I was obsessed with when we were 15, LOL LOL. (Wow, hilarious, but no, I'm middle-aged now, that was a long time ago and I have MOVED ON.) I sighed and rolled my eyes, and ignored that message.
Today, she replies to my FB post enthusing about one of my workplaces and posting pictures of its architectural loveliness, with something along the lines of, "I don't know where that is, I still live Oop North. My mother died last month and I'm having a really hard time."
!!!???!!! O.O DNW >:[
Does it make me a bad, mean, or overly-suspicious person that what I am hearing in that inappropriately-placed, completely out-of-left-field non-sequitur-fit-to-kill-any-conversation-stone-dead is, "I ONLY ASKED YOU TO FRIEND ME BECAUSE I WANT SYMPATHY AND SUPPORT FROM AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE NOWNOWNOW, EVEN PEOPLE I HAVEN'T SEEN IN PERSON FOR ALMOST THREE DECADES, AND IF YOU AREN'T POLITE ENOUGH TO ASK HOW I AM SO I CAN TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY PAIN I WILL *SIGH* BRING THAT UP MYSELF, AND JUST TO ICE THAT CAKE FOR YOU I AM GOING TO DO THIS IN A REALLY REALLY PUBLIC FORUM SO YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A JACKASS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY IF YOU DON'T RESPOND WITH TONS OF TEA AND SYMPATHY"?
Because, y'know, MY MOTHER IS DEAD INSERT SOCIETALLY-APPROVED PLATITUDES HERE is just... guaranteed to re-connect you and get you what you want from people you last hung out with in the 1980s. I think I can guess why I de-friended you the first time. Captain Awkward is that way =>>>. She can help.
EDIT: Double urgh. I inserted societally-approved platitudes, carefully omitting questions or anything that could be construed as inviting furtherance of the topic. She has responded with MOAR DETAILS plus a complaint about how her bro and sis didn't make it to see ma before she died, and are "taking it out on her". Sooo, she actually does expect venting space and emotional support from a 30-years-of-silence schoolfriend. She says she's off on holiday to get over it all. There will be a quiet re-de-friending while she's gone. *washes hands*
Her first missive yesterday was a cringe-inducing private message, querying whether I was still in lurrve with the teeny-bop popstar I was obsessed with when we were 15, LOL LOL. (Wow, hilarious, but no, I'm middle-aged now, that was a long time ago and I have MOVED ON.) I sighed and rolled my eyes, and ignored that message.
Today, she replies to my FB post enthusing about one of my workplaces and posting pictures of its architectural loveliness, with something along the lines of, "I don't know where that is, I still live Oop North. My mother died last month and I'm having a really hard time."
!!!???!!! O.O DNW >:[
Does it make me a bad, mean, or overly-suspicious person that what I am hearing in that inappropriately-placed, completely out-of-left-field non-sequitur-fit-to-kill-any-conversation-stone-dead is, "I ONLY ASKED YOU TO FRIEND ME BECAUSE I WANT SYMPATHY AND SUPPORT FROM AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE NOWNOWNOW, EVEN PEOPLE I HAVEN'T SEEN IN PERSON FOR ALMOST THREE DECADES, AND IF YOU AREN'T POLITE ENOUGH TO ASK HOW I AM SO I CAN TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY PAIN I WILL *SIGH* BRING THAT UP MYSELF, AND JUST TO ICE THAT CAKE FOR YOU I AM GOING TO DO THIS IN A REALLY REALLY PUBLIC FORUM SO YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A JACKASS IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY IF YOU DON'T RESPOND WITH TONS OF TEA AND SYMPATHY"?
Because, y'know, MY MOTHER IS DEAD INSERT SOCIETALLY-APPROVED PLATITUDES HERE is just... guaranteed to re-connect you and get you what you want from people you last hung out with in the 1980s. I think I can guess why I de-friended you the first time. Captain Awkward is that way =>>>. She can help.
EDIT: Double urgh. I inserted societally-approved platitudes, carefully omitting questions or anything that could be construed as inviting furtherance of the topic. She has responded with MOAR DETAILS plus a complaint about how her bro and sis didn't make it to see ma before she died, and are "taking it out on her". Sooo, she actually does expect venting space and emotional support from a 30-years-of-silence schoolfriend. She says she's off on holiday to get over it all. There will be a quiet re-de-friending while she's gone. *washes hands*