My life.
I cried for the first time in five years today. People have thought I have cried in the past, but it has been five years since tears have reahced my chin. That is a long fucking time. A half a decade. I miss someone, and I am crying because I want to run away so bad. I was so touched by a song today that reminded me of my life. It just made me want to drive for forever. I just wanted to disappear.
I work at a grocery store, and I make just enough money to help support my family. I do not make enough to pay my bills though, and I am trapped. It is embarrassing to me. So instead of reaching for help I hide. I hate the world. I make plans to run away, and fail to fall through unlike when I was younger. I wish that money had no power over people.
I have been out of college for two years. I miss it. I fight for people close to me to do well in school. I fight for this because I would trade places with them in an instant. I want to go to college because I want to leave this state forever. I want to run. I want to leave. I am so scared of the future, so I force myself to live by today. I distance myself from people, and run all the time. I want to be someone. I always knew I could be, and now I choke up. I am who I am. I want someone whose willing to be poor with me, or love me for who I am. i want someone to slap me. I want someone to hold me. i want someone to se my potential, and be happy with what I do now.
I found someone. I found someone who does these things, and it hurts in a good way. It makes me happy. I am so happy I am crying after drinking with my best friend. She is perfect in my eyes. I wish I could make all her problems go away. I wish we could run away together. This pain is unbearable. I love her, and she does not understand. Well I hope she does. I hope she understands that I would pull down the very stars themselves for her.
I am done. I do not care anymore about my problems. I am too happy to care. I am going to drive away, and I only want one person with me when I do it. I just want to leave for a day. I need it. I have a plan. A plan to get us out of this shit hole of a city.
I work at a grocery store, and I make just enough money to help support my family. I do not make enough to pay my bills though, and I am trapped. It is embarrassing to me. So instead of reaching for help I hide. I hate the world. I make plans to run away, and fail to fall through unlike when I was younger. I wish that money had no power over people.
I have been out of college for two years. I miss it. I fight for people close to me to do well in school. I fight for this because I would trade places with them in an instant. I want to go to college because I want to leave this state forever. I want to run. I want to leave. I am so scared of the future, so I force myself to live by today. I distance myself from people, and run all the time. I want to be someone. I always knew I could be, and now I choke up. I am who I am. I want someone whose willing to be poor with me, or love me for who I am. i want someone to slap me. I want someone to hold me. i want someone to se my potential, and be happy with what I do now.
I found someone. I found someone who does these things, and it hurts in a good way. It makes me happy. I am so happy I am crying after drinking with my best friend. She is perfect in my eyes. I wish I could make all her problems go away. I wish we could run away together. This pain is unbearable. I love her, and she does not understand. Well I hope she does. I hope she understands that I would pull down the very stars themselves for her.
I am done. I do not care anymore about my problems. I am too happy to care. I am going to drive away, and I only want one person with me when I do it. I just want to leave for a day. I need it. I have a plan. A plan to get us out of this shit hole of a city.