I still miss her a lot
I made it. kind of.
We made up a bit when I got back from Vermont and we went a month or so talking and hanging out, but then it kind of came to a head. she told me that she couldn't just be friends with me and that we weren't going to talk any more. We both cried a bit, I had a pretty bad couple of days, but I've attempted to get on with my life.
I honestly feel good. I miss her a lot, but I feel good about myself. I've kind of been dating this girl who is a lot of fun, but we don't have much in common. That seems to be a common trend for me. Honestly I'll probably end that soon. She seems like she's getting really into us as a "relationship" and that's not really something I want at all.
I did see Kate a couple of weeks ago. We got together at the dog park with the pups and it was wonderful. I held her with her head on my shoulder for a while. I think I kind of held back a little though and she picked up on it. I was scared to really let loose on how I feel because I know it would send us down the same path. It felt so good to see her and touch her. I wanted to kiss her, long and hard. I wanted to give in to all the passion I felt that made our relationship so good. I wanted to take her back to her house and tear all her clothes off and spend the whole weekend just locked in her apartment together.
But I was scared. I've been doing well and even though I still jump at her call, I'm feeling the seeds of recovery set in. I have to be honest, though, I still really and truly hope that her and I get be together again one day. I hope that this time will mend all the old wounds for both of us and I can take her out on a date and we can start fresh and new and happy with ourselves and each other.
I miss you, bean.
We made up a bit when I got back from Vermont and we went a month or so talking and hanging out, but then it kind of came to a head. she told me that she couldn't just be friends with me and that we weren't going to talk any more. We both cried a bit, I had a pretty bad couple of days, but I've attempted to get on with my life.
I honestly feel good. I miss her a lot, but I feel good about myself. I've kind of been dating this girl who is a lot of fun, but we don't have much in common. That seems to be a common trend for me. Honestly I'll probably end that soon. She seems like she's getting really into us as a "relationship" and that's not really something I want at all.
I did see Kate a couple of weeks ago. We got together at the dog park with the pups and it was wonderful. I held her with her head on my shoulder for a while. I think I kind of held back a little though and she picked up on it. I was scared to really let loose on how I feel because I know it would send us down the same path. It felt so good to see her and touch her. I wanted to kiss her, long and hard. I wanted to give in to all the passion I felt that made our relationship so good. I wanted to take her back to her house and tear all her clothes off and spend the whole weekend just locked in her apartment together.
But I was scared. I've been doing well and even though I still jump at her call, I'm feeling the seeds of recovery set in. I have to be honest, though, I still really and truly hope that her and I get be together again one day. I hope that this time will mend all the old wounds for both of us and I can take her out on a date and we can start fresh and new and happy with ourselves and each other.
I miss you, bean.