(no subject)
I'm so drained, and I shouldn't be. I'm sick, I've got a cold or whatever and I feel like shit, but thats the way life goes. Almost all day today my mother has just been screaming at me, or screaming about me, about how ungreatful and uncaring and shitty I am. I don't understand. I haven't done anything differently, and she knows I'm not feeling all that well, yet she still tries to pick fights with me and put me down. It's like she's just not happy unless she screams and yells and lets everyone in the house know how horrible I am and how great she is. I'm just sick of getting treated like shit all the time by my own mother. She doesn't beleive a word I say, and anything that happens to go wrong is automatically my fault. I'm just upset because it'll just come out of nowhere and it's like all of a sudden she's just there to beat me down and make me feel like shit and I have absolutely no idea why. There's no sense in fighting because she's always right anyhow and all it does is give me a headache. She'll hurt me enough that I'll call her a cunt and tell her I hate her for treating me like crap, but she just screams more and then throws it back in my face. If I don't say anything she gets even more upset and screams more, and if I agree with whatever she says it's still never good enough and she has to make me feel like shit. I'm just sick of her being so...mean to me.
It's definitely time for me to find someone. I just want someone who will always have my back, someone who will listen, someone to connect with. I can't really force anything that isn't there tho, so I guess I'll just have to wait until the right time comes or something.
It's definitely time for me to find someone. I just want someone who will always have my back, someone who will listen, someone to connect with. I can't really force anything that isn't there tho, so I guess I'll just have to wait until the right time comes or something.