(no subject)
It's funny how I feel the urge to update this thing because there's something on my mind, but then decide that it's just simply too much information for the public, and then what happens is me talking about it in some round about way that makes absolutely no sense at all, or, babbling on about useless information that nobody gives a shit about.
It seems to point to the conclusion that I need to find someone that really interests me. Someone I feel comfortable with totally, somebody I can stay around for hours and not get bored or annoyed. I need somebody that will think of me then more then just a sex object. Sometimes thats nice and all, but I'm not in the market for it right now. I haven't been able to find anyone fitting that description yet though. I'm sure the perfect one for me is out there somewhere, and with my luck stuck in some sort of ultra impossible situation. If I ever do find someone that fits all of these categories there is a very good possibility that either A) he'll be gay, B)He'll be straight and not interested, or C)I'll wait way too long to say anything, if i say anything at all or with my luck it wouldn't surprise me if it turned out to be D) All of the above. I think I'm having a really hard time letting go of something that hadn't been there, but in all reality won't ever be there. It's just hard not being able to find that out first hand. My brain has been telling me no from day 1, but my heart just won't let go of that sliver of a hope that might still be there. I think maybe I just need to smoke myself fucking retarded and see what happens, lol. Plus anyone I could smoke myself retarded with would be a good candidate anyhow. Whatever, I'm off to bed cos I've already babbled enough.
It seems to point to the conclusion that I need to find someone that really interests me. Someone I feel comfortable with totally, somebody I can stay around for hours and not get bored or annoyed. I need somebody that will think of me then more then just a sex object. Sometimes thats nice and all, but I'm not in the market for it right now. I haven't been able to find anyone fitting that description yet though. I'm sure the perfect one for me is out there somewhere, and with my luck stuck in some sort of ultra impossible situation. If I ever do find someone that fits all of these categories there is a very good possibility that either A) he'll be gay, B)He'll be straight and not interested, or C)I'll wait way too long to say anything, if i say anything at all or with my luck it wouldn't surprise me if it turned out to be D) All of the above. I think I'm having a really hard time letting go of something that hadn't been there, but in all reality won't ever be there. It's just hard not being able to find that out first hand. My brain has been telling me no from day 1, but my heart just won't let go of that sliver of a hope that might still be there. I think maybe I just need to smoke myself fucking retarded and see what happens, lol. Plus anyone I could smoke myself retarded with would be a good candidate anyhow. Whatever, I'm off to bed cos I've already babbled enough.