(no subject)
Sometimes I find myself remembering things that never happened. Events, places or even people that have never existed, at least not to my knowledge. Sometimes I wonder if they are someone Else's memories that somehow got lost and found their way into my head. Most likely they aren't memories at all, just pieces of real memories and an overactive imagination that have been pieced together to create something that seems nearly real, like a dream right before you truly wake up when you can still remember all the little details so vividly. Perhaps that's what these memories are, fragments of dreams long forgotten in the midst of awakening.
Memory is such a funny and magical thing. Memories can leave us for so long and then suddenly return to us at any given moment, as if they had been there all along. It's strange to think back on the past and wonder if I really have it right. How many times do I hear a friend or family member recounting a piece of personal history when I realize artifacts are altered from how I remember them. We all remember something different I guess, even the shared memories are different and personalized to the rememberer. I guess that's what creates things like nostalgia. Pieces of information from our past that for one reason or another stood out from the others. A piece of music from an old cartoon, an accent of a friend long gone, the way the air smelt, the warmth of the sun or the crisp touch of the night breeze. Particulars we can recount or even sometimes can't, but will always bring us back to a feeling of a moment that can never be relived.
Sometimes I wonder if its possible to remember the future. As a kid I had frequent and strong bouts of deja vu. Even now I find it happening from time to time in ways that make my mind swell with puzzlement. At times they can last for so long that I can remember what my next thought or action will be, because I swear I've already had or done it, and I find myself doing something dramatic just to break free of that prediction. Places I've visited in dreams sometimes pop up in reality, and I find myself excited as if I am to discover some piece of destiny that awaits me there, only to find that doorways and corridors lead to places different than I was sure they would, and little details are just subtly off. Maybe I'm just crazy.
It's weird, but sometimes when these unbelonging memories find their way to me all I want to do is cry, as if some beautiful piece of possibility has been lost in my life.
Memory is such a funny and magical thing. Memories can leave us for so long and then suddenly return to us at any given moment, as if they had been there all along. It's strange to think back on the past and wonder if I really have it right. How many times do I hear a friend or family member recounting a piece of personal history when I realize artifacts are altered from how I remember them. We all remember something different I guess, even the shared memories are different and personalized to the rememberer. I guess that's what creates things like nostalgia. Pieces of information from our past that for one reason or another stood out from the others. A piece of music from an old cartoon, an accent of a friend long gone, the way the air smelt, the warmth of the sun or the crisp touch of the night breeze. Particulars we can recount or even sometimes can't, but will always bring us back to a feeling of a moment that can never be relived.
Sometimes I wonder if its possible to remember the future. As a kid I had frequent and strong bouts of deja vu. Even now I find it happening from time to time in ways that make my mind swell with puzzlement. At times they can last for so long that I can remember what my next thought or action will be, because I swear I've already had or done it, and I find myself doing something dramatic just to break free of that prediction. Places I've visited in dreams sometimes pop up in reality, and I find myself excited as if I am to discover some piece of destiny that awaits me there, only to find that doorways and corridors lead to places different than I was sure they would, and little details are just subtly off. Maybe I'm just crazy.
It's weird, but sometimes when these unbelonging memories find their way to me all I want to do is cry, as if some beautiful piece of possibility has been lost in my life.