Sorry for so many, but I was thinking about this one for a few days now...

[robinyukiko]

On 7/24/06, I said this:

I think one of my biggest mistakes was that I wanted so much control over my life--over myself--that I made up rules so that when I followed them I could feel proud of myself.

A new layer to that is this:

I made rules for myself to help me make decisions. Especially morally ambiguous decisions that I couldn't resolve in a timely fashion.

Granted, I broke them changed them all the time. Is this another layer of submissiveness? Only, submitting to myself, or the rules I made, as though I were another person setting them? Does this mean I'm weak-minded, strong-minded, or just dual-minded? Separating my ethics and desires into two distinct entities in order to give each side its reign?

I over-think, I know it.