What you are really sensing is your own death in a weird sort of a way. In other words you are leaving a part of you behind. It could very well be that you didn't much care for these people and it's hard to care much about people you are only indirectly affected by. At the same time, there are things happening in your life that you aren't aware of but they do mean big change and the deaths of the people indirectly related to you still represents this big change that you can't quite put your finger on and it is still depressing. The reality is, a lot of people are seeing some big changes lately. The economy really sucks for the first time in more than twenty years and we are all going to have to adapt and this is going to mean big changes for everyone.
There's a scene in the movie American Splendor where Harvey has cancer and he is questioning whether his character in the comic would live on after he dies. He falls over and hits his head on the radiator and the movie fades into a scene where Harvey talks to the camera kind of like in a dream
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**mwah**
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