Re read a lot of these entries...first time in years
Well, what can I say. I have changed a lot. Kind of interesting, a lot of the people who would have read this stuff would have moved on now and won't see this, as I did. But highly reflective at the moment.
Firstly, can't believe i used to live by my labels in such a way, so unhealthy. Can't believe I let so many doctors medicate me to the shithouse which caused so many problems, most recently, two or three months ago, memory is so hazy had my first psychotic break....side effect from Luvox. Full blown mania as well, went completely off my skull. sent over 20 emails to my uni at some stage in the space of 24 hours that I cant hardly remember sending. Worst my mental health has ever being. But recovering now....medication free and feel better for it. never before have I had such a public meltdown, everyone I know saw it...dangers of facebook.
I'm a social work student these days at RMIT. Like it there, opened up my eyes to a lot of things mental health related that I have never considered before. that's my niche I think. I still consider this decade to be an absolute waste of time in so many ways, but the good thing is, for the first time in years I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Lost so many friends over the past few years, mainly people didn't know how to deal with me, real sad in a way, in another, I kind of glad that those people are out of my life, in some ways they were just poisonous.
so, med withdrawal, that's a fun topic. came off a mixture of mood stabilizers, anti psychotics, effexor, luvox, weed all in the past 4 months. Most in the past month. Feel better for it as well. Just left with valium, which may go tomorrow. At least my current shrink listens to me unlike the last one, and is willing to help me through this, could have told me to fuck off.
The psychotic break was the scariest thing I have ever encountered, was doing some crazy stuff and not safe to have a Facebook account where all of this stuff just came out.
In many ways I'm finding a way to be happy by myself. Something I have never being able to do, hmmm for now that is all
Firstly, can't believe i used to live by my labels in such a way, so unhealthy. Can't believe I let so many doctors medicate me to the shithouse which caused so many problems, most recently, two or three months ago, memory is so hazy had my first psychotic break....side effect from Luvox. Full blown mania as well, went completely off my skull. sent over 20 emails to my uni at some stage in the space of 24 hours that I cant hardly remember sending. Worst my mental health has ever being. But recovering now....medication free and feel better for it. never before have I had such a public meltdown, everyone I know saw it...dangers of facebook.
I'm a social work student these days at RMIT. Like it there, opened up my eyes to a lot of things mental health related that I have never considered before. that's my niche I think. I still consider this decade to be an absolute waste of time in so many ways, but the good thing is, for the first time in years I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Lost so many friends over the past few years, mainly people didn't know how to deal with me, real sad in a way, in another, I kind of glad that those people are out of my life, in some ways they were just poisonous.
so, med withdrawal, that's a fun topic. came off a mixture of mood stabilizers, anti psychotics, effexor, luvox, weed all in the past 4 months. Most in the past month. Feel better for it as well. Just left with valium, which may go tomorrow. At least my current shrink listens to me unlike the last one, and is willing to help me through this, could have told me to fuck off.
The psychotic break was the scariest thing I have ever encountered, was doing some crazy stuff and not safe to have a Facebook account where all of this stuff just came out.
In many ways I'm finding a way to be happy by myself. Something I have never being able to do, hmmm for now that is all