(no subject)
So all the recent bummed-out-ness has really got me thinking about what's been missing from my life, and what I can do to correct it.
I miss interacting with other people. Yeah, I go out, and I have a couple of people I can talk to who I really trust, but there's a bit of a difference between that and how I generally spend my day.
Before I started at my current job, I was constantly around others: Café jobs meant that I had co-workers to bond with and a constant stream of crushtomers on which to speculate; temping usually meant a debilitating brain-drain for 8.5 hours a day [Royall & Co.], but it was low-pressure, the home life was fun and stable 75% of the time, and when I moved to the mail room at Farm Bureau, I basically had a gaggle of aunts to commiserate and bond with. Even when I started at this place a year ago, I was constantly going back and forth cooperating, planning/scheming, and learning with my old boss, on top of having a million different projects to catch up on that hadn't been attended to in years. I was busy, involved.
Now things have slowed down, my boss left for semi-retirement, I've caught up on most of the long-term plans, and now I find myself spending more time here in my office, wracking my brain for things to keep me busy, and generally becoming more and more isolated from everything and everyone.
To be fair, I don't think it's right to equate life with work [and vice-versa]. But when I look back on the times when I really felt as one with myself and my surroundings, I wasn't spending every day alone.
I saw my old boss the other day and he joked that he was surprised I was still here after he left. But then he retracted and confirmed my feeling that I really need to spend a couple of solid years at one place. Not that this place has to be my long-term career or anything, but it's a balance that I know I'm going to have to deal with in the not-too-distant future.
I want to feel like I'm accomplishing things with other people. I want to be excited by life again. Because I have all the confidence in the world in myself and my abilities, but what good is that when everything you ever wanted* isn't bringing you happiness?
Conundrum!
*And no, it doesn't come in a rocket can.
I miss interacting with other people. Yeah, I go out, and I have a couple of people I can talk to who I really trust, but there's a bit of a difference between that and how I generally spend my day.
Before I started at my current job, I was constantly around others: Café jobs meant that I had co-workers to bond with and a constant stream of crushtomers on which to speculate; temping usually meant a debilitating brain-drain for 8.5 hours a day [Royall & Co.], but it was low-pressure, the home life was fun and stable 75% of the time, and when I moved to the mail room at Farm Bureau, I basically had a gaggle of aunts to commiserate and bond with. Even when I started at this place a year ago, I was constantly going back and forth cooperating, planning/scheming, and learning with my old boss, on top of having a million different projects to catch up on that hadn't been attended to in years. I was busy, involved.
Now things have slowed down, my boss left for semi-retirement, I've caught up on most of the long-term plans, and now I find myself spending more time here in my office, wracking my brain for things to keep me busy, and generally becoming more and more isolated from everything and everyone.
To be fair, I don't think it's right to equate life with work [and vice-versa]. But when I look back on the times when I really felt as one with myself and my surroundings, I wasn't spending every day alone.
I saw my old boss the other day and he joked that he was surprised I was still here after he left. But then he retracted and confirmed my feeling that I really need to spend a couple of solid years at one place. Not that this place has to be my long-term career or anything, but it's a balance that I know I'm going to have to deal with in the not-too-distant future.
I want to feel like I'm accomplishing things with other people. I want to be excited by life again. Because I have all the confidence in the world in myself and my abilities, but what good is that when everything you ever wanted* isn't bringing you happiness?
Conundrum!
*And no, it doesn't come in a rocket can.