Life's A Bunch Of Flowers.
So I finally caught up on the last two episodes of American Horror Story and without spoiling anything, can I just say:
I FUCKING HATE YOU, BEN HARMON. YOU ARE THE WORST FICTIONAL PERSON ALIVE AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL, MOTHERFUCKER.
Seriously, I can't even deal with just how much I want to nut-punch Ben every time he's onscreen. He is such a terrible, self-delusional, hypocritical douchebag and I want something big and scary to goddamn eat him slowly so he's in a lot of pain while he dies. The Rubber Man episode made me want to hit him and the next episode made me want to claw his face off, that's how angry I was with him. Everything that happened to your family is YOUR fault, Ben. YOU ARE A SHITTY HUMAN BEING. Even your daughter knows it.
Kudos, Dylan McDermott, for playing such a loathsome character so well that I actually forget how good-looking and nice you are in real life. That takes skill.
Also, I was disappointed by the reveal of who the Rubber Man really was, but I do like where this is going. Show, you may have me in the palm of your hand yet.
I still love you, Constance, even though you're crazy and manipulative and hypocritical too. You're also magnificent and ballsy, and I just fucking love you. Hayden, feel free to rot in hell with Ben. You two deserve each other because you're both awful, selfish people and you don't deserve happiness.
Uh, so that implosion aside (I take TV too seriously sometimes, I know), I had a realization today: maybe it's the lack of family trauma in the last few months, but I'm really happy, you guys. Like, honestly content and looking forward to getting up and going to work and spending time with family and friends. I don't know if I've ever felt like that before. Granted, this year has been hellish in some ways, but right now, I am happy with everything; with my job, with my family, with my friends, with my life.
I think a big part of it is getting a better job. I didn't realize how much of my anxiety was tied into being unhappy and stressed out at work (where I spend a huge chunk of my time) and/or working a low-paying job where I barely made enough money to cover the bills. I have worked so many shitty jobs at shitty places with shitty people, and I've spent the last fourteen working years being miserable and unhappy, and thinking that that's how it was supposed to be.
But this job is interesting and the people are nice, and when I am stressed out by work, I know I have the option to tell my boss that I have too much on my plate, and everyone will back off and let me be until I can deal with it. That is amazing to me because I have never, in all my years of working, had that. It makes me glad to get up every morning and go to work with these people and help them out in any way I can because holy shit, they actually care. It's amazing.
Of course, now that I've said this, everything will probably go tits-up tomorrow, but I just wanted it noted somewhere that at this time on this day in this year, I was genuinely happy with everything in my life.
Also, I think I might be in the middle of PMSing because I've been getting all teary-eyed over everything. Like, I choked up at the funny songs on the Muppets soundtrack. Not even Rainbow Connection, which is totally understandable, but Life's A Happy Song! I shouldn't be crying to that, I should be bouncing around and singing along. What the hell, self?
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. Please comment anywhere you feel has the best icons to use to dazzle me. I'm really easy.
I FUCKING HATE YOU, BEN HARMON. YOU ARE THE WORST FICTIONAL PERSON ALIVE AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL, MOTHERFUCKER.
Seriously, I can't even deal with just how much I want to nut-punch Ben every time he's onscreen. He is such a terrible, self-delusional, hypocritical douchebag and I want something big and scary to goddamn eat him slowly so he's in a lot of pain while he dies. The Rubber Man episode made me want to hit him and the next episode made me want to claw his face off, that's how angry I was with him. Everything that happened to your family is YOUR fault, Ben. YOU ARE A SHITTY HUMAN BEING. Even your daughter knows it.
Kudos, Dylan McDermott, for playing such a loathsome character so well that I actually forget how good-looking and nice you are in real life. That takes skill.
Also, I was disappointed by the reveal of who the Rubber Man really was, but I do like where this is going. Show, you may have me in the palm of your hand yet.
I still love you, Constance, even though you're crazy and manipulative and hypocritical too. You're also magnificent and ballsy, and I just fucking love you. Hayden, feel free to rot in hell with Ben. You two deserve each other because you're both awful, selfish people and you don't deserve happiness.
Uh, so that implosion aside (I take TV too seriously sometimes, I know), I had a realization today: maybe it's the lack of family trauma in the last few months, but I'm really happy, you guys. Like, honestly content and looking forward to getting up and going to work and spending time with family and friends. I don't know if I've ever felt like that before. Granted, this year has been hellish in some ways, but right now, I am happy with everything; with my job, with my family, with my friends, with my life.
I think a big part of it is getting a better job. I didn't realize how much of my anxiety was tied into being unhappy and stressed out at work (where I spend a huge chunk of my time) and/or working a low-paying job where I barely made enough money to cover the bills. I have worked so many shitty jobs at shitty places with shitty people, and I've spent the last fourteen working years being miserable and unhappy, and thinking that that's how it was supposed to be.
But this job is interesting and the people are nice, and when I am stressed out by work, I know I have the option to tell my boss that I have too much on my plate, and everyone will back off and let me be until I can deal with it. That is amazing to me because I have never, in all my years of working, had that. It makes me glad to get up every morning and go to work with these people and help them out in any way I can because holy shit, they actually care. It's amazing.
Of course, now that I've said this, everything will probably go tits-up tomorrow, but I just wanted it noted somewhere that at this time on this day in this year, I was genuinely happy with everything in my life.
Also, I think I might be in the middle of PMSing because I've been getting all teary-eyed over everything. Like, I choked up at the funny songs on the Muppets soundtrack. Not even Rainbow Connection, which is totally understandable, but Life's A Happy Song! I shouldn't be crying to that, I should be bouncing around and singing along. What the hell, self?
This entry was originally posted at Dreamwidth. Please comment anywhere you feel has the best icons to use to dazzle me. I'm really easy.