(no subject)
Many thanks to Jen and Justine for their kind words.
It finally hit me this morning, driving back from a chat with Mr. Perez at Targét, what it was that I really felt I needed. It wasn't actually sympathy. That's more or less unrequited pity. What I wanted was somewhere between compassion and commiseration. Someone who knew what I was doing, who had been there, who could maybe either know what to do or say to make it better, or just sit there and bitch with me. I really am changing, even though I swore I wouldn't. Let me see here.
Always been a rocker. It's in my blood, from about two on. Beethoven and Bon Jovi were young favorites. Listened to early 90's pop-rock until the East Bay explosion in about 1994, with a year lost in 93 to country music.
Until about the 7th grade, I was a vicious geek, and didn't care one bit. I began listening to the local alt-rock station in the 6th grade to try to get enough knowledge to keep up with the prettiest and most popular girl in the class (a mixed blessing: discovered punk rock, wore myself out. She turned out all right, actually. She had an epiphany her 7th grade year and quit being a self-professed bitch).
7th grade was pivotal. I began adapting my style (halfway through 6th from the cute girl down the street) towards that alterna-grunge look. But that's when I met Cole. I think I even mentioned him earlier. I need to hang out with him. Anyway, meeting him led me to meet the whole punk crew two years later. When ska hit the radio in 98, I loved it but had no idea what it was. Punk made little sense to me until Mitch gave me that Op Ivy: Energy/Bouncing Souls: Manicial Laughter split. Theatre brought me in even more.
But since then, when I was this (pardon my cliché) petty little anarchist, I've gone through quite a bit. Met some freakin' cool homeless people. Had a lot more on my mind. Had three identity crises at once a year ago.
Maybe those bastards are right. Maybe I've become all old, boring, introspective, and...
oh, God, help me...
EMO.
Okay, I said it. Now fuck off.