the mess that is my life
sometimes i wonder... well most of the time i wonder...what is my purpose? why can't i just be happy? i mean, i'm ok now. at least i'm not depressed anymore. that's good. but i still get sad. i think about what i had, how i lost it, and what i wouldn't give to get it back.
i know it can't happen... but even to find it somewhere else would be nice. i feel like i'm not good enough to have a relationship with though. i'm fun to hang out with... having sex with me is nice... but being in a relationship isn't something anyone wants to do. why? hmmm.
i'm feeling used. i'm not sure i was, but i kinda feel like it right now.
*sigh*
i just don't know. i'm so confused... so lost...so completely unsure of what i want. well i guess what i want and what i can actually have are completely different things right now. fuck.
i'm bored and lonely. those two things usually lead to depression. that's why i'm watching the scooby doo movie. you can't be depressed when you're watching scooby doo! :) even though it's not as good as the original cartoon... it works.
blah
i know it can't happen... but even to find it somewhere else would be nice. i feel like i'm not good enough to have a relationship with though. i'm fun to hang out with... having sex with me is nice... but being in a relationship isn't something anyone wants to do. why? hmmm.
i'm feeling used. i'm not sure i was, but i kinda feel like it right now.
*sigh*
i just don't know. i'm so confused... so lost...so completely unsure of what i want. well i guess what i want and what i can actually have are completely different things right now. fuck.
i'm bored and lonely. those two things usually lead to depression. that's why i'm watching the scooby doo movie. you can't be depressed when you're watching scooby doo! :) even though it's not as good as the original cartoon... it works.
blah