Comments | road_ahead: RP: Winging It

rar_harry in road_ahead

RP: Winging It

Aug 30, 2008 17:06

Date: 30 March 1999
Characters: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger
Location: Grimmauld Place, elsewhere
Status: Private
Summary: Hermione and Harry go out. Somewhere. At least, that was the plan.
Completion: Complete

( He didn't feel like waiting )

march 1999, hermione granger, harry potter, place: grimmauld place

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rar_hermione August 31 2008, 04:22:05 UTC

Harry moved away. She'd really messed up. It was an awkward situation, and she'd just retreated into facts because there was comfort there when she was feeling so many emotions that she couldn't focus on just one. Harry had an erection. Because of kissing her. While she knew that he liked kissing her and said he fancied her, having the actual proof pressed against her was just startling. She was, well, flattered, but she was also nervous and a little scared and curious and intrigued and, bugger. Her head was starting to hurt ( ... )

rar_harry August 31 2008, 04:36:12 UTC

Harry froze. Did you want to help it?

"Er."

Why the hell couldn't he say anything better than that? He closed his eyes a moment. She couldn't mean ... would she really want to -- help it? Not that he'd not imagined it, because he had, but he certainly didn't expect the real thing so soon. He usually ended up helping himself.

She couldn't have meant that, though. He racked his brain. Unless she meant ... what? "I dunno," he said, at exactly the same time she said 'nevermind'. "I mean, no. I think I'd have to be dead not to've had, erm, that. You're just ... and you felt so, well, good."

He watched her a moment. "Are you mad?" She seemed to still prefer looking somewhere other than him.

rar_hermione August 31 2008, 04:47:39 UTC

"Right. Your body reacted." She felt good? What did he mean by that? He didn't know if he'd have helped it then wouldn't and now she was just confused. When he asked if she was mad, she sighed. How could she tell him that she wasn't angry, that she was just hurt? It wasn't his fault that she'd assumed his reaction had been to her, instead of just snogging a warm body.

"I'm not angry, Harry. It happened, like you said, and it's fine. I shouldn't have mentioned anything. I was just surprised and..." She trailed off and shrugged. She didn't really feel like going out now. All she felt like doing was lying down and trying to figure out how things had gone so weird. Of course, thinking too much had started this. No, snogging had caused it.

It was funny how she could go from feeling wanted to feeling like this in such a short time. She looked at Harry and smiled wryly. "Sorry. For all this." She walked over to the bed and sat next to him. "Did you still want to go out or should we call it a night?"

rar_harry August 31 2008, 05:04:30 UTC

Harry had the distinct impression that he'd done something wrong and had no idea what. Of course his body had reacted to her. It pretty much always did, just not when she could feel it. "Happens a lot with you," he mumbled.

She said she wasn't angry, and he believed her, but something was still off. He asked himself whether he wanted to keep talking about his erection long enough to find out. "Don't apologise. It's not your fault that I -- that it happened. I mean it is, but, not directly. Meaning, you couldnt've stopped it." Bugger it all. "Anyway you haven't got anything to feel sorry about."

He was glad when she sat down next to him; it made him feel slightly better. "What d'you want to do?"

rar_hermione August 31 2008, 05:15:34 UTC

He started to ramble about it being her fault but not really, which didn't make sense. She glanced at him and tried to figure out what to say. "I shouldn't have said anything about it," she told him quietly. "It's probably one of those things people don't actually talk about, but I felt it and was surprised and just reacted. I'm sure that Gin-you haven't ever had to answer questions about it or anything. I'm not sure why I said anything. I guess I thought...I don't know what I thought ( ... )

rar_harry August 31 2008, 13:57:53 UTC

He shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to discuss Ginny when he was still sporting a Hermione-induced semi. "Like I said, there's nothing you shouldn't have done; nothing to feel bad about."

Harry shook his head slightly, confused. "But ... it was you," he said, as if it should be obvious. It should, shouldn't it? She was the only one in the room, the only one he'd been snogging, the only one he wanted to snog. "You're not some random girl. I mean, it happens a lot with you; I just shouldn't have pressed up against you like that." If she hadn't felt it, she wouldn't be freaking out. "I didn't mean to scare you ( ... )

rar_hermione August 31 2008, 14:35:55 UTC

"It was?" Hermione raised her head and looked at him as his words finally started to make sense to her. "But, you said you couldn't help it and that it just happened. Like it would have with any other girl."

She was confused because she knew what she'd heard, but now Harry was saying that it was because of her, after all. Had she misunderstood? She'd tried to talk about it, but he'd been hesitant to, which she knew logically made sense but that didn't help her right now when she was confused and emotional.

She shook her head. "But it is a big deal. To me. It's...well, no one has ever...and it means that you...and it changes things, in a way. It's more real, if that makes sense, and I was scared but curious and then you were just 'erm', which didn't really help me figure it all out. But it was for me, then?" She blushed and bit her lip when she realized that she was trying to analyze his erection, which was probably not the right thing to do in this situation at all. Bloody hell, she was a failure when it came to all this.

rar_harry August 31 2008, 14:48:08 UTC

Harry didn't understand what she was talking about, honestly. "I couldn't help it, Hermione; I'm with you. I don't know what would happen with any other girl. You're not any other girl." He shook his head. "All I know is that just thinking about you is enough, sometimes."

She was only confusing him more. There wasn't a whole lot to figure out, that he could see. He dropped backwards, lying across the end of her bed, and looked at the ceiling, biting back a groan of frustration. He didn't know how to deal with this when he was so tense, edgy and flushed, and on her bed with her right next to him like this. "Of course it was, Hermione."

rar_hermione August 31 2008, 14:59:40 UTC

"Oh." Just thinking about her? Did that mean that he...She blushed even more as she tried to push that image from her mind. While she had known that he must, well, masturbate, it was something entirely different to think he must and then find out that he might do so while thinking about her. There was a part of her that was shocked at such a blunt discussion but another part of her was excited in ways she couldn't really understand ( ... )

rar_harry August 31 2008, 15:36:42 UTC

He looked from the ceiling back to her when she muttered at him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "It's just ... I don't get why you'd think that it's just some random thing when I'm with you. You just had me confused for a bit. I want you, Hermione. It's not that complicated."

Finding her hand with his, he laced his fingers through hers. "I know it's new." He'd not known just how new, but it wasn't as if he were experienced, himself. "You shouldn't get insecure about us."

rar_hermione August 31 2008, 15:46:43 UTC

"I didn't think that at first," she admitted. "But then you said, and I thought, and. Well. I was wrong." It was difficult to admit that she was wrong even in this situation. Unfortunately, she expected to have to be open to that in the future because this relationship stuff was so complicated. There would be failures, obviously, but the successes really made it worth all the rest ( ... )

rar_harry August 31 2008, 16:21:03 UTC

"Insecure about you?" He shook his head slightly. That just didn't even make sense. He shifted and kissed her temple, her cheek. "There's never been anyone like you, Hermione. I never expected it, and it's scary to me, too. It's not like I know what I'm doing any more than you do. We're figuring it out together, remember?"

He felt warm as she kissed his jaw and told him she wanted him, too. But then she went on to discuss his erection more. He swallowed. "It's fine," he told her honestly. "I want to kiss you as often as possible; don't worry. I can take care of it. Erm, myself. Until we --" He winced, backtracked. "Meaning -- I just mean ... I'm used to it. It's really not a new thing or a very big deal. Believe me."

rar_hermione August 31 2008, 16:57:05 UTC

"I remember. I just forget sometimes." She moved her hand up to touch his cheek after he kissed her face. "I'm glad you're scared, too. At least we're in this together." She traced his lips. "There's never been anyone like you, either. It's surprising, but nice."

He said that he could take care of it, and she blinked. "Oh, okay." She glanced down then back up quickly. "Not a big deal? I thought boys wanted it to, uh, be big." She bit her lip when she realized what she had asked. "Sorry. I didn't mean to actually say that. Um, so kissing is good then. I'm glad. I like kissing you and learning all of this together."

rar_harry August 31 2008, 17:11:21 UTC

"Huh?" His eyes widened. "No! I wasn't talking about ... big, that way. I mean, not that it -- ah, bugger it. I just meant that you shouldn't be afraid or nervous about kissing me more. It's going to happen and it's happened before, but it's fine. I'm not going to ask you for something you're not ready for. Unless, I mean, if you ever want to ..."

He trailed off and closed his mouth. The more they talked about this, obviously, the more often he was going to put his foot in it. "Never mind; sorry." He seriously didn't know how to handle her when she started overanalyzing things. Most of the time, he'd just kiss her and distract them both, but since kissing was what had started this, it might not be the best idea. He shifted and tucked one hand behind his head as he lay back, his other hand still holding hers. "Just ... don't worry, alright?"

rar_hermione August 31 2008, 17:20:38 UTC

At his reaction, she had to giggle. She bit her lip to try to keep herself from laughing, but she couldn't help it. "Sorry. This whole situation is sort of funny, in a crazy way." She brushed his hair back from his forehead and smiled. "You won't pressure me, Harry. I know that. I trust you. I won't pressure you, either."

"I'll probably worry because that's just how I am. But I'll try not to jump to conclusions next time something like this comes up--I mean, happens," she said, blushing again when she realized how that sounded. "Thank you, for talking to me about this even if it's weird and I misunderstand sometimes."

She shifted and leaned against him as she kissed him lightly. "When I asked you out tonight, I didn't realize 'out' would just be my bedroom," she told him before she kissed him again. "Maybe we should go for a walk or something." She kissed him another time and lingered. "Or we can later."

rar_harry August 31 2008, 17:30:38 UTC

"Can't think of a situation where I'd feel pressured," he said lightly, laughing a bit even if he was telling the truth. "But thanks."

When she made reference to something 'coming up' and he couldn't help it; he had to snicker. "No problem. I'm not great at talking, but I get you; I get that you might pause when stuff like this, erm, arises." It was a bad joke and he knew it, but he felt lighter after hearing her laugh. He brushed a kiss against her jaw.

"I like your bedroom," he whispered between kisses. He knew being in her bed was risky and likely to cause more of what had led to this conversation, but he couldn't bring himself to stop even knowing that they couldn't go much further than they'd gone over by the wardrobe. "Yeah, maybe," he mumbled against her lips. "But I vote for later."

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