RP: Winging It
Date: 30 March 1999
Characters: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger
Location: Grimmauld Place, elsewhere
Status: Private
Summary: Hermione and Harry go out. Somewhere. At least, that was the plan.
Completion: Complete
( He didn't feel like waiting )
Characters: Harry Potter, Hermione Granger
Location: Grimmauld Place, elsewhere
Status: Private
Summary: Hermione and Harry go out. Somewhere. At least, that was the plan.
Completion: Complete
( He didn't feel like waiting )
Harry shook his head slightly, confused. "But ... it was you," he said, as if it should be obvious. It should, shouldn't it? She was the only one in the room, the only one he'd been snogging, the only one he wanted to snog. "You're not some random girl. I mean, it happens a lot with you; I just shouldn't have pressed up against you like that." If she hadn't felt it, she wouldn't be freaking out. "I didn't mean to scare you."
She put her hand on his and he turned his head to brush his lips against her hair. He tried not to think of the things he wanted that involved them both on her bed like this, as it probably wasn't something he should be dwelling on. Pushing that to the back of his mind, he focused on the other things he wanted. "I want things to not be weird. I don't want the date to be over just because I got ... like this." He shrugged a bit. "It's really not that big a deal."
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She was confused because she knew what she'd heard, but now Harry was saying that it was because of her, after all. Had she misunderstood? She'd tried to talk about it, but he'd been hesitant to, which she knew logically made sense but that didn't help her right now when she was confused and emotional.
She shook her head. "But it is a big deal. To me. It's...well, no one has ever...and it means that you...and it changes things, in a way. It's more real, if that makes sense, and I was scared but curious and then you were just 'erm', which didn't really help me figure it all out. But it was for me, then?" She blushed and bit her lip when she realized that she was trying to analyze his erection, which was probably not the right thing to do in this situation at all. Bloody hell, she was a failure when it came to all this.
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She was only confusing him more. There wasn't a whole lot to figure out, that he could see. He dropped backwards, lying across the end of her bed, and looked at the ceiling, biting back a groan of frustration. He didn't know how to deal with this when he was so tense, edgy and flushed, and on her bed with her right next to him like this. "Of course it was, Hermione."
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There were so many questions that she wanted to ask, just to satisfy her curiosity because the books said one thing but she knew from experience that reality was much different. However, Harry didn't really like to talk about things, especially private sort of stuff, so it wasn't as if she could just ask him if he masturbated often or how far he'd ever gone with Ginny. The latter, she didn't really even want to know, even if she was always in doubt about a comparison.
Harry suddenly fell back against her bed, and she blinked as she looked at him framed by her blanket. "Well, you don't have to say it that way," she muttered when he used a tone that indicated she was being crazy. She was tempted to lie beside him, but she wasn't sure if that was a good idea at all. It was awkward right now, because she'd thought too much and got confused, but lying beside him was different than other things. More intimate, especially with it being in her bedroom after he'd been erect while kissing her and...she bit her lip again and looked at him.
"This is all new to me," she said softly. "I've read about it and heard other girls talk but it's never happened to me. I thought...I just got insecure." There. That was honest and slightly embarrassing to reveal, so maybe it would help him understand. Of course, she wasn't really sure if she understood, so maybe not.
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Finding her hand with his, he laced his fingers through hers. "I know it's new." He'd not known just how new, but it wasn't as if he were experienced, himself. "You shouldn't get insecure about us."
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He touched her hand, and she smiled sheepishly. "I wasn't insecure about us, just about me." She moved to lie beside him, turning on her side so that she could look at him. "You've dated girls like Cho and Ginny, even if it was just once with Cho. I've never dated anyone really, not in a romantic sort of way. It's overwhelming sometimes, you know? And all this," she motioned between them, "it's new and scares me but it's also exciting."
She leaned over and kissed his jaw. "I want you, too, Harry," she said honestly because, really, there was no point in denying it. She might not understand it all yet, but she knew desire and dreams. "Is it uncomfortable for you? Having a, uh, an erection? I mean, should we be more careful and not kiss so much?"
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He felt warm as she kissed his jaw and told him she wanted him, too. But then she went on to discuss his erection more. He swallowed. "It's fine," he told her honestly. "I want to kiss you as often as possible; don't worry. I can take care of it. Erm, myself. Until we --" He winced, backtracked. "Meaning -- I just mean ... I'm used to it. It's really not a new thing or a very big deal. Believe me."
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He said that he could take care of it, and she blinked. "Oh, okay." She glanced down then back up quickly. "Not a big deal? I thought boys wanted it to, uh, be big." She bit her lip when she realized what she had asked. "Sorry. I didn't mean to actually say that. Um, so kissing is good then. I'm glad. I like kissing you and learning all of this together."
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He trailed off and closed his mouth. The more they talked about this, obviously, the more often he was going to put his foot in it. "Never mind; sorry." He seriously didn't know how to handle her when she started overanalyzing things. Most of the time, he'd just kiss her and distract them both, but since kissing was what had started this, it might not be the best idea. He shifted and tucked one hand behind his head as he lay back, his other hand still holding hers. "Just ... don't worry, alright?"
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"I'll probably worry because that's just how I am. But I'll try not to jump to conclusions next time something like this comes up--I mean, happens," she said, blushing again when she realized how that sounded. "Thank you, for talking to me about this even if it's weird and I misunderstand sometimes."
She shifted and leaned against him as she kissed him lightly. "When I asked you out tonight, I didn't realize 'out' would just be my bedroom," she told him before she kissed him again. "Maybe we should go for a walk or something." She kissed him another time and lingered. "Or we can later."
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When she made reference to something 'coming up' and he couldn't help it; he had to snicker. "No problem. I'm not great at talking, but I get you; I get that you might pause when stuff like this, erm, arises." It was a bad joke and he knew it, but he felt lighter after hearing her laugh. He brushed a kiss against her jaw.
"I like your bedroom," he whispered between kisses. He knew being in her bed was risky and likely to cause more of what had led to this conversation, but he couldn't bring himself to stop even knowing that they couldn't go much further than they'd gone over by the wardrobe. "Yeah, maybe," he mumbled against her lips. "But I vote for later."
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