J/A fic
Title: And Miles To Go ( Before I'm With You)
Author: rln14
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,233
Disclaimer: Harmon owns Community
Summary: Jeff has a descion to make.
A/N: this popped into my head, after rewatching the finale.
And Miles To Go (Before I’m With You)
She was driving him crazy. She was there in his dreams. Those he remembered in aching clarity. Those that were blurs, zipping past his consciousness but leaving that lingering sense of her face. Always her face. He’d fall asleep with it lodged in his mind and he’d often wake up with her still there.
She was there at work.
That was when it was almost impossible to get away from her. Everywhere he went, any hallway, classroom, hell, stairwell, parking lot, every damn place, had her fingerprints all over it.
He’d feel his heart give one hard thump, whenever he caught sight of brown hair. And the keen disappointment (and embarrassment) when the women turned around.
He kept expecting to run into her and of course that was impossible. She was no longer in Colorado. D.C. snatched her away.
Jeff couldn’t go anywhere in Greendale (school or city) without being slammed by memories and regrets.
See there? That room used to hold their study group. He first met her, sitting at that table. Young, fresh, eager to learn.
And it was in that room, that he first started to fall for her.
It all began when he helped her out, with her debate against the rival college. He didn’t even know her that well then and was doing it for selfish reasons. But it was in preparation for the last debate, that everything changed for them.
He could still recall, in great detail, the moment she chose to make herself over. Her hair swinging down from the barrette, the smile on her face as she asked his opinion, the way her body looked in that tight sweater.
One minute she was this new friend of his and the next second, she took his breath away. She was unexpectedly beautiful. And there were times when he hated her for it.
The gym? That was where they won the debate, when she sensed that they were losing, so she threw a hail mary and kissed him. Thus proving that man was evil and completely blindsiding him. It wasn’t even that long of a kiss and it was done off the cuff, but even now, he could remember the feeling of surprise, interest and yeah, guilt, over having her lips on his.
The cafeteria was a painful reminder of what he had. How many times had they all shared lunch there? He sat next to her in that booth, countless times and each one took its toll on him. He rarely went there anymore.
Right outside? Those steps, down there? That is where they shared their first real kiss. She was leaving then too, only this time, she had come back. And he was so happy to see her. They talked and hugged and then she just planted one on him. It took him off guard, at first, but then it seemed like they moved as one. He grabbed a hold of her and they kissed so passionately. He didn’t care about anything other than having her in his arms. Later, he screwed it up, but he never fully left that night. It was prefect.
She had burrowed herself inside him that night. There was no other word for it. One minute he was whole and the next? The next thing he knew this person arrowed straight into his heart and she never budged.
She haunted that campus. Her and the others who left him. He couldn’t go anywhere in that damn school, without being reminded. Joys, sorrows, losses, wins, countless feelings threatened to drown him.
The biggest being regret.
Why?
Why was driving him crazy.
Why hadn’t he grabbed a hold of her sooner?
Why was he such a damn coward?
So sure that time was on his side. So sure that nothing would change. Waiting hadn’t been so bad, not when she was by his side.
God, how he missed having her with him.
The basement? That was where it all came to head for him. That was when his heart leapt up and smacked him in the face. That was where there was no more denying the truth. Five years of falling, five years of stalling, running, stubbornness, all faded away.
That basement held the moment when Jeff finally accepted that he was in love. He loved. He was actually capable of loving someone. And not just anyone. Annie Edison. And in true Jeff Winger fashion, it scared him shitless. So he pushed her away.
The thoughts of what next?, drove him crazy. He tried to booze away the feelings. Stupid.
One night, after a wince worthy drunken escapade, it hit him. Annie was going places. Greendale was a temporary stop over. Not a cage. She’d run the world someday and where did that leave him?
Annie was meant to fly away.
Spread her beautiful wings and soar.
Jeff was stuck. His life was not what he wanted, his job was unfulfilling, his friends were on an exodus to leave him behind. New people came to float around him.
He knew that her time was coming.
He loved her.
So he had to let her go.
He tried too. It cost him that last year, but he did try. Then at the bar (where he stopped going after a few weeks) she dropped his worst nightmare into his reality.
D.C.
Three months.
No more chances now. He blew it.
Then one last time, in the place that started it all. In the place that he couldn’t walk by, without having her pop into his head, she seeked him out.
And they talked. He told her (in his own way) that he loved her. He told her that he’d want her and she was so right. He would have regretted not kissing her. And he got one last glimpse of what that secret future could have been like. The future that he still dreamed about.
He kissed her one last time. And it broke his heart.
But, typical Annie, she gave him hope. And to that, he clung.
The airport. Where he had hugged and kissed her goodbye. Where he watched her walk out of his life.
He fell in love with Annie all over Greendale. And it was killing him. He knew what he had to do. Emails, phone calls (that were getting sporadic) weren’t enough.
Two months had been enough.
Jeff took a deep breath, as he pulled into the parking lot.
Two months. Eternity. Forever. It was too long.
He looked at the building and knew.
It was time. Time for him to man up.
The woman he loved was in D.C.
Why wasn’t he?
Jeff took a deep breath and walked into Greendale Community College for the last time.
It was now or never.
D.C. was waiting.
Annie was waiting.
He was waiting.
Not anymore. He boarded the plane and felt a huge burden lift off his shoulders.
D.C., here I come, he thought.
He watched Greendale fade away as he shot towards his dream season seven.
The first thing he said to Annie upon seeing her again, was I love you.
She cried a little and smiled at him.
Jeff waited six years to say those words to her, and hearing her say them back?
It was the first memory they made in D.C.
But it wasn’t the last.
The End